Monday, 1 February 2010


Nigel Griffiths, MP for Edinburgh South, is standing down (at the next election obviously) to take up an opportunity in an “international education institution”.

The man is best known for his unfortunate meeting with a “female of the opposite sex”, not his wife, in his office in the House of Commons on Remembrance Day 2008, which involved them getting naked. He is further renowned for having lied when the circumstances of the tryst became known telling people that he was so drunk that he had no recollection of what had happened. It later turned out that he had taken photographs of his performance and later uploaded them on to his computer. Funny thing the memory, eh Nig?

What else is there to say about him? Nothing much except that he is a close friend and supporter of Gordon Brown. Despite this, however, he seems to have been unable to progress in government in any way since his mate became prime minister despite a lamentable lack of talent in the Labour Party. Some say that this is because he is completely and utterly talentless.... I couldn’t possibly comment. Oh OK, I could. I’d say it was bang on! But then, you already know the level of esteem in which I hold Griffiths

According to The Caledonian Mercury, Mr Griffiths said: “After 30 years of continuously elected service in Edinburgh, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it would not be right to delay accepting this position, since I want to give the Party time to select a new candidate to fight the forthcoming election. I firmly believe that Labour will hold South Edinburgh, given Labour’s excellent track record in our capital city and the slump in Liberal Democrat support after they took over Edinburgh, now labelled ‘the meanest council in Britain’. There is no evidence of any surge for the Tories here.”

My interpretation of it is closer to this. OK. I’m pretty useless. My majority has fallen every time I’ve stood, and last time it was only 405. Since then you caught me out having a sex romp with a tart in my office and then lying about it. Then it turned out I had tried on such dodgy expenses claims that they were rejected, and we all know that takes some doing. So rather than embarrass everyone with a really humiliating defeat and come in 14th in the contest just behind a plank of wood, I have been told to stand down. I thank you very much for the .... er, no, I mean, for all the support ...blah blah.....

Bye bye Griffiths. I wonder what “international education institution” is going to be employing you. Whichever it is, it will suddenly have become a laughing stock. I hope for its sake you disgrace it a little less than you did the House of Commons.


  1. He cant remember and Mrs Robinson was mental why dont they just say i fancied a shag.

    read this made me laff

    Hunter’s pregnancy: According to Young, Hunter called him in May 2007 to say she was pregnant. Young says that when he informed Edwards, the senator told him to “handle it,” to which he replied: “I can’t handle this one.” Young writes that Edward unloaded on Hunter as a “crazy slut,” said they had an “open relationship,” and put his paternity chances at “one in three.” Young says that Edwards asked him for help persuading Hunter to have an abortion. Young writes that Hunter believed the baby to be “some kind of golden child, the reincarnated spirit of a Buddhist monk who was going to help save the world.”


  2. Yes Niko... you're right there. Priceless, they all are. It might be better and it would cetainly be refreshing if they would just say...

    "I'm human, my wife/husband/partner was boring/off sex/ugly/away/too old (in the case of Mrs Robinson 40 years too old)."

    The only bit any of us would find hard to believe is that they think thay are human.

    Thanks for the link... priceless

  3. Mrs Robinson for her age dont look to bad.........I would!

  4. She's all wrinkles Niko! That kid musta wanted that cafe badly!

  5. What wrong with wrinkles tris???? ;)

    That aside, have you had a look at the wonderful job Griffiths will have? I have certain reservations about places which only offer education to foreigners.

  6. Erm..... nothing SR.... :¬)

    My favourite girl is Petula Clark and at 77 she's got a few..... so I have no issues with wrinkles!

    No, I haven't had a look yet at his college. I might leave them a message about what I think of their new principal. Odious old git that he is!!!

  7. Edinburgh South is such a Tory gain [at least thats one gain to look forward to!]


    Just think taking this seat, and Mundel getting re elected- thats 100% improvement! LOL

  8. Of course Dean, Mundell does have to get elected again for that to happen......!?!?!****!?