Thursday, 18 February 2010


SOMETIMES YOU just have to feel sorry for David Cameron. There he is, poor man, trying to persuade the country that Tories have changed. They are no longer the callous, uncaring, devil take the hindmost party of the Thatcher years, nor are they, despite the high marginal propensity of the shadow cabinet members to have Eton and Oxford somewhere on their CV, the class ridden, snobby, superior party of times even further behind us.

No, Dave’s modern Tories (he’d call them New Conservatives if only someone else hadn’t thought of that) are cutting edge, 21st century, open-minded Co-op loving and inclusive. And then out of the woodwork, and just when you thought his likes had disappeared forever, comes dear old Nicholas Burbling Moron Winterton.

The Wintertons, for there are two of them, have a proud history of being “difficult” from a PR point of view. Nicholas is a hard right winger, pro fox hunting, gay hating, pound loving, Europe hating, and capital punishment loving who came in for criticism recently when he slapped a Labour MP on her bottom. His wife is a nasty old racist, sacked from her shadow position in 2002 for telling an unsavoury joke about throwing Pakistanis from a train, she had the Conservative Whip removed in 2004 for telling making fun of the deaths of 23 Chinese cockle pickers. She said recently that she was glad that Britain was still a white and Christian country. I trust that she didn’t include herself in that category, although she is probably white.

The two of them together perpetrated a particularly devious, underhand fiddle on housing allowances, whereby they put the flat, bought on expenses, into a Trust for their children, and then charged us rent to live in it whilst extracting from us £800 in overpaid Council Tax.

Mr Cameron called them “indefensible”. How going to Eton gives one a gift for understatement!

Dave must have been relieved, then, when they announced that they were to stand down at the election. Under the new arrangements there will be, at least for a while, not much to fiddle. I don’t know if these two facts are in any way connected.

But it seems that Nicholas has decided to embarrass the Tories one more time before he heads off to wherever boring old snobs go in retirement. He announced that it is wrong that MPs will no longer be able to claim for First Class travel.

He said "That puts us below councillors and officers of local government. They all travel first class. Majors in the army travel first class. So we are supposed to stand when there are no seats ... I'm sorry, it infuriates me."
Awwwwwwwwwwww. Poor wee thing.

Incredibly he went on to complain that standard-class passengers were a totally different type of people, who looked over one’s shoulder and made a noise and had children..... ARGH!

You can hear an interview he did with Radio 5 Live, here. It really is worth a listen if you like a good laugh.

If ever there is a way for the Tories to lose the next election then Winterton is it. Were I the chairman of the Labour Party I’d be asking him and Mrs Winterton if they wanted to do a few wee interviews.

I think it’s only fair to point out that a Conservative spokesman suggested that Winterton was “out of touch”. Out of touch? Off the planet more like.


  1. Actually tris ah think Winterton should go first class.

    Oan a one-way ticket tae oblivion!

    Yer right, he's the best advert the Labour Pairty could get. It reminds us what scum-sookin' puggies thae Tories are.

    An' it reminds me that Westminster is sookin' the life oot o' oor ain wee country.

    Vote fer freedom.

  2. Well said Sophia. Just my sentiments. Except I'd send him to oblivion third class...the way I got there.

    You know what I'll be voting, don't you?

  3. Winterton is standing down this coming election, so I doubt he gives a damn what call me Dave thinks or the rest of us for that matter.

    @ Sophia, when it comes to soaking the life out of a country, you can't beat Scottish politicians for doing it. As Subrosa points out.

  4. Army majors do not travel first class. If they wish to do so then they must pay the costs themselves and also have that cleared by their superior office.

    The man's lying.

    Anyway, there are so few politicians worthy of classing themselves as similar to army majors. I'm still trying to think of one.

  5. Quiet man, kin ye no tell a sookin' fae a soakin'?

    Ye better watch uersel'!

  6. @ Sophia, well if you will use slang instead of the Queens English ;-)

  7. I thought that that was wrong SR, because you've said so before, but I was going to check it with you.

    I'm not sure about council officials, but if it is true, then it shouldn't be and it needs stopping. Given Mr Winterton's record for veracity it's probably a lie too.

    I've travelled here and there on government business and always had to take the very very cheapest possible, reasonable transport (ie, not Edinburgh to Paris, via Seattle). The idea of First Class is just laughable.

    He's a revolting little man isn't he? Support or troops, they all cry, in his case by telling lies about them.

    As for the rest of what you say, I bet you're right. Most of them aren't worthy of classing themselves with any soldier regardless of rank.

  8. QM: You’re right, the likes of him think only of HIM. He wouldn’t care at all what he was doing to his party. No loyalty except to his bank balance.

    He’s a loathsome little shit, and after the embarrassment of the Labour MPs who think that they are above the law, Gordo must be rubbing his hands together in glee at the Tory who thinks that there is a different breed of people in 2nd class (although perhaps it was his third footman that told him seeing as I doubt he’s ever seen the likes for himself. I’m surprised he hasn’t charged us for a chauffeur driven Rolls to take him about.

  9. Argh... Queen's English.... ha ha ha ha. What's that QM. It's Queen's Scots we speak here.

  10. PS: I just looked at the picture at the top. Doesn't that hat look like it's the funnel of an old steam train? (First Class of course).

    PPS: I bet he wishes it was Natascha Engles standing next to him instead of that old dear....

  11. PPPS: QM.... your link is broken.

  12. At least he's right about people in standard class being different from people in first class. People in first class travel free while people in standard class pay for themselves and for everyone who is in first class.

  13. Fair comment Anon. I've travelled first class a couple of times when I've got an upgrade (I think you could pay £10 or something a few years ago) and once when it was part of a package holiday.

    He's wrong of course. It is noisy; there are children, and I think first class people are as likely to look over one's shoulder as second class people.

    I have the advantage on him of course. I've actually been in both classes.

  14. I would not have dared mention it...even given my contrarian instincts in blog comments...but having read Tris's and Anon's exchange about first class travel, I must comment. I always buy an upgrade to first class when I travel by air. (The cost can be minimized with personal upgrades on business travel and the use of frequent flyer miles.)

    Anyway, it's just that there is ABSOLUTELY NO LIMIT to the discomfort and indignity that the airlines will inflict on us when we travel coach. My one experience with coach class travel involved families with crying children front and back....with the propinquity of sardines in a can. It was the Ninth Circle of Hell. So NEVER again.

    I'm sure old Mr. Winterton is a dreadful dude who does dreadful things. But traveling first class on the airlines is not one of them. He's just trying to get away from squalling kids and the inability to move his legs.

  15. PS:

    Sorry Anon, but not true that the tickets in coach class subsidize first class. Exactly the opposite is true (at least here in the US.)

    The people who actually pay big bucks (dollars) to the airlines are the first class passengers and full fare coach passengers.....the type of unrestricted tickets largely bought for business and high end pleasure travel. These are the ticket buyers who actually pay for the majority of the people in coach who buy the deep discounted tickets with all the restrictions.

  16. Listened to this live and was just waiting to hear the shotgun go off as he blew his foot off.

    I see the point he's trying to make but he truly fecked up live on thewireless. He should have lied like any good politician, well any average politician!

    I am entitled to 1st class travel and I have always gone standard, Im well awRe that it's taxpayers cash. I still get there on time and you can work they even have 240v sockets for laptops and iPhones!


  17. Nicholas Winterton

    The Fat, and Yet Empty, Controller.

  18. He was knighted in June 2002 for services to parliament, just about the time his dubious housing arrangements were coming to light. Simply incredible that a worthless, bigot who has personally done so much to blacken the name of parliament and MPs should get one of the biggest gongs from the British Empire for his services. Oh well doubtless he can kiss being Lord Winterton goodbye, although you never know. The interviewer had the patience of a saint if he had talked to me like that I would have shoved his top hat down his throat!

  19. Danny

    I was just trying to point out that most folk who travel first class in the UKSSR are subsidised by the taxpayer as they are mainly MP's , MSP's ,beeboids ( work for the taxpayer funded BBC ) 'top' civil servants ( top as in top of the trough not good at anything), people on expenses that are tax deductible etc.
    I'm not surprised this greedy trougher didn't want the unwashed looking over his shoulder. They may have spotted him filling in his 'expenses' forms.

  20. I see your point and agree with you totally Anon. Surely any sort of taxpayer subsidized travel should be, as Tris mentioned, by the cheapest possible reasonable transport....consistent with security, for example, for very top officials. If Mr. Winterton wishes to upgrade to first class, he should definitely pay for it out of his own pocket.

    And he would surely wish to do so, because he's right about those children.

  21. Danny: the UK is much smaller than the US, in fact its smaller than California so people don't tend to fly around it, but rather take the Train. Unless you are going to Scotland its often quicker to go by train (or it should be). Using Heathrow even for internal flights is also a circle of hell. The objection to Sir Nicholas is that he wants us to pay for his first class ticket and gives the reason for that as not actually wanting to have to associate with us. There are only two classes on trains here and the difference between them is not huge although the cost is. Everybody gets a seat. In 1st there are three seats 2 on one side and one on the other with an isle in the middle and all seats have a table. In standard there are four and not all have a table at least half are like bus seats. 1st has curtains and waiter service at your seat. Standard does not and you have to go to the buffet yourself or wait for a trolley service. Thats about it! The main difference is the cost which is huge and thus keeps they common herd (i.e. us) at bay.

  22. I should say that is for long distance travel. Not for commuting. But Sir Nick does not do that as we also pay for his London home. Commuting in the UK by train is much I imagine like doing so on the New York Subway. Crowded, slow, very uncomfortable, and squashed in like sardines.

  23. Yep Munguin, the taxpayers should not have to pay the first class fare. It was my mistake for not even considering the fact that the UK, unlike the USA (generally), offers rail service as a travel alternative, with two classes of service. Outside of the Eastern corridor of Boston-New York-Washington, there is very little in the way of viable rail transport in the US. The population is too sparse outside of the East, and the distances too great. Even in California, the San Francisco-LA route is served with an hourly air shuttle, not by rail.

    There is also some commuter rail here to serve the big eastern cities. New York depends on rail to bring huge numbers of people into the city from the far flung suburbs on Long Island, and out into Connecticut.

    (And indeed, the process of getting into an airport and onto a plane is a circle of hell here too.)

  24. LOL @ Contrary Danny:

    It's great to upgrade, but as Munguin points out the difference in the UK between First Class and what they call Standard Class, and what to all intents and purposes is Second Class is actually very small and insignificant, as Munguin points out. Unlike flying, where the service is unbelievably better in Business, or First.

    Of course I have no problem with Mr Winterton travelling First Class, I only have a problem in paying for it. He's a Lard Arse so probably his First Class bottom has issues fitting into the seats designed for us Second Class people, but that should be his responsibility not mine .... He could try a diet?

  25. CD: Welcome to Munguin's Republic. We're delighted you dropped in. :-)

    I think it depends on luck really. I've been in carriages with Second Class people who were quiet and I've been in carriages with First Class people who were noisy and some who had children .... ouch.

    As Anon pointed out, almost (but not all) people travelling First on rail in the UK have someone else paying (company/travel agent/us). If he wants to pay the upgrade for his ticket that's fine, but I don't want to pay it for him, or any other public servant.

    I thought he was great on the wireless. Like an Arthur Lowe/ Capt Mainwaring character from a 1950 British film comedy.

    The Tories must be fuming. I see it's got pages and pages of coverage. Brown 1 - Cameron 0

  26. Bugger: I see you like him as much as I do?

  27. Danny:

    I do agree that there are security implications for the people at the very top, but I can't see any reason why security might be any better in a first class compartment. I mean if you wanted to get your hands on the Prime Minister (what a revolting thought), and he was in the First Class carriage, you'd pay the upgrade or just barge in anyway.... LOL. After all if you are about to cause grievous bodily harm, the small matter of travelling without a ticket is of no great import.

    Of course Mr Winterton (I just can’t bring myself to call him Sir; he so doesn’t deserve it) is utterly unimportant. He’s never held any ministerial office probably due to his propensity to open his big fat stupid mouth and let the contents of his none too functional brain spill out all over the Pavement (sidewalk).

    How he managed to get a knighthood for services to parliament is quite beyond my comprehension. He got it at a time when Blair was Prime Minister. Maybe it was designed to embarrass whoever was leader of the Tories that week.

  28. Tris....And like the picture you posted of the people in the railroad dining car shouldn't have been a clue to me that you were talking about rail transport?? Oh well, if I waited until I actually knew anything about the subject before commenting on it, I would hardly get to express any opinions at all.

    Speaking of pictures, Sir Nicholas is at least a cheerful looking old geezer in his top hat. But probably not too many top hats even in first class these days. :-)

  29. Anon: I'm sure the likes of Sir Winterton (there I've said it) don't fill in their own expense forms. He surely gets an under footman to do it for him.

  30. Awww Danny....

    Och away. You know damned well you are one of the most informed and erudite contributors to this blog. How the hell could you know about the quaint British tradition of going about the country by train (where even the first class accommodations look 10th class by comparison with the average European or American railway (or railroad).

    Yes, he looks jolly in that pic, but that’s just after he nailed the knighthood for services to parliament. (And of course the good lady wife looks awfully jolly too because, despite being a racist bigot, or perhaps because if it , she gets to call herself Ann, Lady Winterton.) Now what, you might ask, in the way of services to parliament has this man been responsible for, except perhaps slapping the arses of Labour fillies as they are going about their business? Beats me.

    Odious old man!

  31. Tris...Ah yes, his undeserved knighthood. That explains the top hat.

    As for security, you're certainly right. If an official is riding public transport, security would have more to do with the people around him than with the particular rail car he rides in.

    As a taxpayer, I try not to think about the costs involved with transporting the US President on Air Force One.....with the personal security issues...not to mention the nuclear codes, communications equipment, etc. Just curious....does the PM have a private car when he travels by rail? He must also travel with the Trident missile codes, the necessary communications infrastructure, etc.

  32. Yes he certainly looks like the cat that got the cream in that picture. And so would I if I had been sponging off the people since 1971 and had managed to convince the powers that be that I had done such great service for parliament that I deserved a knighthood despite never having held any office at all, never having been father of the house, leader of it, speaker, a whip or anything at all. Laughing would not even come close to how I would feel if I had conned all those people into thinking that I actually had done some service when I had only done any service to myself and my old trout of a wife and the feathering of our nest.

  33. I think Brown travels by car and plane in the UK, except for photo opportunities on rail. He is probably the exception to the MPs, and of course his constituency is in "north Britain", or as the rest of us call it Scotland, so it is a long way on the train. (Well, it is for a worn out old British train. A French train would do the distance in around 2 hours!)

    I don't think he has to bother about nuclear codes though as it's your president that has control of them.

  34. Errkkk. The thought of the Gorgon with the nuclear codes box. Scary. Throwing it at people and breaking it. Obama can keep it. Much safer.
    Cast iron dave wouldn't be much safer. Flashing the big code box to his pals like snotty osborne and his other chums in the Bullingdon Club.
    It's funny Vichy Dave saying that Nicholas is old tory. Not the new tories who are down with the sheeple. Tell that to the folk of Norfolk ( turnip taliban I think Tory central Office called them) and the other 'backwoodsmen' who had the cheek to prefer a local candidate to represent them. Someone born locally and even worse represent their interests above party. They will get posh pals of posh tories and like it. Preferably a 'right on' black lesbian with one leg and lots of rich contacts in the media and banking sector. And who are still troubled with acne and blush if you shout ' TWATS' or 'BOLLOCKS' at them.

  35. Anon:.... You couldn't exactly be described as an optimist, judging by that last post... he he...

    I think it would be better if it was just Scotland and there were no nuclear codes and we could get on with sorting the roads, cleaning up the hospitals, getting the kids jobs when they leave school and stuff like that.

    That's what wee countries like us should be doing.

  36. tris

    Yes sorry got a bit carried away !
    I was just trying to point out that it would be even worse under the Tories with their PC mentality and total control of who gets elected and what they say when elected. They will all be whipped in to line ( ooh err missus where do I stand ).
    Here's the last 4 Tory candidates selected for the guaranteed safe seats. The locals got given these guys. They had no control over who went on the lists. Notice anything unusual with the names ?

    Bromsgrove ... Sajid Javid
    Spelthorne....Kwasi kwarteng
    East Surrey...Sam Gyimah
    Stratford upon Avon....Nadhim Zahawahi

  37. He is a total twit, sooner he is gone the sooner the Party can reform itself in the heartlands and the 'safe seats'.

  38. tris

    The Queen's English - pretty startling observation!

    I spoke to this gentleman once and took the opportunity to ask him about George Young's observation regarding the street homeless being the "people you step over going to the opera" and, with great wisdom, he informed me that there were no such thing as homeless people, only those who chose this as a way of life. This made me realise that he comes from a different planet and, sadly, he is not alone.

  39. There are too many of his type in the Party, but Cameron, although a patrician himself, at least understands that poverty is real, gripping and an issue needing a strong government action.

    We may not agree on much Brownlie but when it comes to this 'gentleman' I echo you when you write "This made me realise that he comes from a different planet and, sadly, he is not alone."

  40. Dean: We know they are not all like this. but as you say there are many, and they have no whenre else to go. Ok UKIP maybe, but there's no tradition in UKIP, it has a silly name (U KIP if you want to. The lady's not for kipping while there's work to do, etc.)

    I was saying that Cameron must be spitting feathers about him. He gives the party a bad name. Actually he gives the human race a bad name, the snotty old git.

  41. Aye Brownlie: Sadly there are some stupid people haven't bothered to try to see the world outside of their narrow perspective. For the very poor it's excusable for how could they ever manage to see or experience the world of Eton's playing fields, or even what it is like to do a shop at Tesco and not have to buy the value brand.

    But for the rich to allow themselves the luxury of that ignorance is a neglect of their duty as human beings, and for those that would govern that level of stupidity and ignorance is intolerable. He should never have been in parliament. That he was is an insult to parliament.

  42. As I say Brownlie, it's the Queen's Scots... or maybe it's our own Scots, we speak here.. We are biligual though so we can understand the blethers of the London parliament when they poke their noses into our business....

  43. Anon: I've always thought that local constituencies should pick their own people.

    The trouble with having people thrust upon them is that they may have diffculty getting the door chappers out....

    It's not a good idea in my opinion.

    I can see Cameron's dream shattering as the Tories manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory....

  44. "Tories manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory...."

    LOL!!! Thats the Sun headline the day after the GE!!! Arcchh damn these blasted opinion polls...i'll 38% you!

  45. Look Dean... sad though it seems you gotta get David out there bawling his eyes out about some great great aunt who died in 1948, and bearing his soul about whatever in his life.... Was he caned when he was a fag at Eton or something?

    Maybe he could try taking his shirt off and appealing to the ladies.

    I seems that politics has come down to something as crass as that. Brown has certainly lowered the tone... but it seems it's working.

    .. but, do like I say and get rid of that balloon Osborne. If ever there was an electoral liability, he is it... oh, and shoot that arse Winterton before he says something else prehistoric

    Wait a minute... why am I giving you guys tips....?

  46. is it because you know that only we can save Scotland, England and Wales from 18 years of new-labourism and 5 more years of Gordo -"put aside my incompetence"-Broon?

  47. LOL... Maybe thats it, but I'll still vote SNP Dean.... you do know that doncha? lol