THE NEVER-ENDING SAGA OF MPS' EXPENSES ROLLS ON AND ON....

The problem of MPs’ expenses just won’t go away, as rumblings on the back benches of, in particular, the Conservative party (according to this article) are showing. The new Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) set up with such fervour only months ago is causing consternation as it gets things wrong, upsets people, makes mistakes, and behaves like most other organizations in their early days.

However, of course, this organization is not like any other. Its customers aren’t “ordinary people”: they are MPs. And MPs are used to deference and respect. They are not used to being messed about. The kind of mistakes that are regularly made by the Jobcentres, the Child Support Agency or the Tax Credit people is, for the first time, being visited upon MPs. And they are not happy.

Part of Cameron’s problem is that his backbenchers are not happy about so many other things. They are unhappy about the cavalier way in which he attempted to take over the 1922 Committee; they are unhappy that there can be no tax cuts; they are unhappy that they have to have a referendum on AV; they are unhappy that the Deputy Prime Minister is a Liberal; they are unhappy that some of their leading lights expecting their moment of glory as ministers of cabinet ministers are languishing on the back benches to make way for Liberals; they are unhappy that they are obliged to travel second class with “ordinary people”; they are unhappy about having to provide receipts like “ordinary people”, and they are unhappy that they are faced with problems usually reserved for “ordinary people”.

Some of them would like to emulate the Lords with flat rate expenses of £300 a day paid whether you spend £3 or £3000. But clearly this is a non starter, as the idea of providing MPs with money just for turning up for their work, when other people are taking pay cuts, is a big ask.

Of course it’s not just the Tories who are complaining; they are just complaining the loudest. Labour members are maybe concerning themselves with whether it’s Thoroughly Modern Millie or Millie Light, based on which does the less repulsive impersonation of Blair’s accent. The Liberals are just intoxicated that their leader took Prime Minister’s Questions the other day... and expenses wasn’t an issue for any of the other parties.

But one Scots MP (so it was unlikely to be a Tory) is reported to have complained that the compliance officer hired by IPSA was an ex-fraud detective from the Met, whose presence was an implied slur on the reputation of all honourable members. Ha ha ha....as if!

Anyway, Cameron, who is faced with angry backbenchers on several fronts, is in an awkward position. He has now criticized the IPSA at a 1922 Committee meeting and in the House itself, but what can he do? He was so enthusiastically for it only a few months ago and co-operated fully with Labour in its inception. A U-turn so soon would make him look a bit of a pratt.

One cabinet minister is reported to have said that “we legislated in haste, and now we are stuffed”. (How eloquent.) Not for the first time Minister... It’s just that this is the first time that any of your lot have had to suffer the consequences of your slipshod, ill thought out, half assed legislation.

Enjoy! And don’t ask us for any sympathy.

WHAT A LOAD OF GARBAGE WE HAVE IN WESTMINSTER

What on earth kind of rubbish have we got as representatives in Westminster?

Firstly we were told in the last parliamentary session that more that 50% of our MPs had been dishonest in their dealings with expenses. That’s more than 50% of our MPs had fiddled their expenses, or stolen from the taxpayer.

And then we had the audacity of the three MPs who considered themselves to be above the law because they were MPs, citing an English Bill of Rights dating from 1689 as their reasoning and, if you please, expecting to be allowed not to stand in the dock, where common criminals stand, as if, for some weird reason they should not be considered either common or criminal.

Fortunately the judge threw it out saying: “I can see no logical, practical or moral justification for a claim for expenses being covered by privilege and I can see no legal justification for it either.” But the point is that the chancing toe rags tried it on at our expense (because they are on legal aid now that they are unemployed).

Additionally, in the last session it seemed that hardly a week went by without one or more of our noble lords being found with their regal snouts in the golden pig swill of the House of Lords Expenses system, and when the law got near to them, an official stamped on legal proceedings saying that it was all perfectly within the rules. So, in the Lords it’s within the rules to cheat on expenses by lying about your accommodation. High time it wasn’t.

Then we had the programme on Channel Four which organised an undercover sting and found host of MPs prepared to sell themselves to the highest bidder, for thousands of pounds for a day’s work, on top of their salary for the days’ work that we were paying them for. (Amazing how people like Pat Hewitt could get two days’ work into one day.)

Now we read that the new office for trying to stop the MPs stealing money all over again was forced to erect a sign at its Commons offices warning MPs: ‘We will not tolerate abuse of staff.’

Apparently MPs are furious at the way they have been treated. Paul Farrelly, Labour, sent a complaint to Nigel Gooding, the man in charge of the IPSA, saying the new system was "prehistoric, amateurish, self-defeating and bureaucracy gone mad".

He wrote: "I have been asked for a copy of my passport or birth certificate to prove my date of birth. Why that is necessary, I do not know. More importantly, as I have used my overdraft limit, my mortgage payment will bounce, causing me embarrassment and further charges. You could easily have saved us all this aggravation."

Awww wee shame. Try buying road tax, signing on, getting a national health dentist. That’s aggravation.

It’s the kind of thing the rest of us have lived with for years, and it’s the kind of thing that you people brought upon yourselves when you stole all our money. Tough! Now you know how it feels, and you had no idea before. You get zero sympathy from me.

In the meantime Mr Gooding has announced his resignation from the post, for what he calls " for the sake of my health and sanity”, so abusive have MPs become, when they discovered the expenses office was actually going to do its job this time and the gravy train was in the sidings.

What a third rate lot they are.