BORIS ΠΡΟΣΘΈΤΕΙ ΜΙΑ ΑΦΉ… ΤΗΣ ΚΑΤΗΓΟΡΊΑΣ ΜΣΙ (ΜΗΧΑΝΙΣΜΌΣ ΣΥΝΑΛΛΑΓΜΑΤΙΚΏΝ ΙΣΟΤΙΜΙΏΝ)… ΣΤΟ ΆΝΟΙΓΜΑ ΣΤΑ ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΆ

The news that Boris Johnson has commissioned a poem which he will read in English and Ancient Greek at the opening of the Olympics has caused a few poetic attempts by REAL people.

As I'm still feeling a bit under the weather (and the doctors are on holiday here), I produce for you the original and a couple of examples of the public's response.


Original Boris Poem


The new Olympic flame behold,

that once burned bright in Greece of old;
with happy hearts receive once more
these Games revived on London's shore.

Praise rival teams, in sport allied,
as athletes stream from far and wide;
the poet too must take the road
conveying praise to victory owed.

Millions of watchers will embrace
the passion of each close-run race,
The efforts of the rowing teams
and gymnasts on balancing beams.

The will observe with rapt delight
the archer draw his bowstring tight,
the skilful rider guide her horse,
and lightning bolt around the course.

The pipes will play, the drum resound,
as medallists are daily crowned;
the crowd’s hurrah will reach the skies
when victors hoist the golden prize.

Now welcome to this seagirt land,
with London’s Mayor and co. at hand
good luck to all who strive to win:
applaud and let the Games begin!

In ancient Greek:

Ode to some event or other

The summer has arrived at last

Together with a sporting cast,

To jump and run in this fair town –

So woe on you who wears a frown!

To mark this rather splendid time

We must not whinge or ever whine;

And don’t dare jest, lest you provoke

The wrath of Coe’s policing folk

There’re guns on top of peoples’ flats

And rules made up by tin-pot twats;

Beware of spilling custard dears,

When highlighting your cash cow fears

Boris says the lanes must be

For those ‘who work’ – not thee or me;

He’s had a little ode penned too

About this farce to bill and coo

The legacy, we’ve all been told

Will last until the Earth is cold;

Or at least until the day

When corporate sponsors fly away

Food banks may well be on the up,

As austere plans now prove a pup;

But since man can’t live just on loaves

A circus into view now hoves.

Unnamed

The Olympics farce is just a joke
all your money, up in smoke
Can't buy nothing that ain't approved
A stupid logo that's bloody rude
The Zils have taken over roads
where everyone was free to roam
security's become an issue
'bye, G4S - no-one will miss you
and all for what?
three weeks of chaos
strikes, unrest and many lay-offs
even the tickets can't be sold
and reserved for bigwigs, so we're told.
I'll be glad when the whole thing's ended
and the country's decline no more suspended.
Good bye, Britain, God speed.

And finally....


The amount we've spent is crackers
but they have us by the Kn----rs.