Monday, 23 July 2012


The news that Boris Johnson has commissioned a poem which he will read in English and Ancient Greek at the opening of the Olympics has caused a few poetic attempts by REAL people.
As I'm still feeling a bit under the weather (and the doctors are on holiday here), I produce for you the original and a couple of examples of the public's response.

Original Boris Poem

The new Olympic flame behold,
that once burned bright in Greece of old;
with happy hearts receive once more
these Games revived on London's shore.
Praise rival teams, in sport allied,
as athletes stream from far and wide;
the poet too must take the road
conveying praise to victory owed.
Millions of watchers will embrace
the passion of each close-run race,
The efforts of the rowing teams
and gymnasts on balancing beams.
The will observe with rapt delight
the archer draw his bowstring tight,
the skilful rider guide her horse,
and lightning bolt around the course.
The pipes will play, the drum resound,
as medallists are daily crowned;
the crowd’s hurrah will reach the skies
when victors hoist the golden prize.
Now welcome to this seagirt land,
with London’s Mayor and co. at hand
good luck to all who strive to win:
applaud and let the Games begin!
In ancient Greek:
The summer has arrived at last
Together with a sporting cast,
To jump and run in this fair town –
So woe on you who wears a frown!

To mark this rather splendid time
We must not whinge or ever whine;
And don’t dare jest, lest you provoke
The wrath of Coe’s policing folk

There’re guns on top of peoples’ flats
And rules made up by tin-pot twats;
Beware of spilling custard dears,
When highlighting your cash cow fears

Boris says the lanes must be
For those ‘who work’ – not thee or me;
He’s had a little ode penned too
About this farce to bill and coo

The legacy, we’ve all been told
Will last until the Earth is cold;
Or at least until the day
When corporate sponsors fly away

Food banks may well be on the up,
As austere plans now prove a pup;
But since man can’t live just on loaves
A circus into view now hoves.

The Olympics farce is just a joke
all your money, up in smoke
Can't buy nothing that ain't approved
A stupid logo that's bloody rude
The Zils have taken over roads
where everyone was free to roam
security's become an issue
'bye, G4S - no-one will miss you
and all for what?
three weeks of chaos
strikes, unrest and many lay-offs
even the tickets can't be sold
and reserved for bigwigs, so we're told.
I'll be glad when the whole thing's ended
and the country's decline no more suspended.
Good bye, Britain, God speed.

And finally....

The amount we've spent is crackers
but they have us by the Kn----rs.


  1. Team GB, Locog and other stupid names,
    up yours with your f***ing Games

    (moderated by tris 20.51)

  2. Just changed a couple of words there Anon, on the basis that there are kids reading this... I agree though.

    It's all been a big con for Coca Cola, and Burger McDs, etc.

  3. The Break-up of Britain is Underway, and the Olympics Will Do Nothing to Reverse it

    If Scots choose to become independent then short of a Royal Baby these games may be the last official celebration that these island shares. This summer was supposed to be a highpoint in 21st century Britishness and a chance for the people of these islands to rally together and unite as one, but at the moment it feels more like a not very glorious last hurrah of a fractured and increasingly incompatible and irrelevant political union. Once the post Olympic bunting has come down what will we be left with? A bunch of empty sports venues, a £multi-billion debt and an increasingly disunited kingdom.

  4. It's a good article, CH. Can't find fault with it.

  5. Added the facebook link to the next page, CH.