Friday, 20 July 2012


...Poor wee Tris is currently running a temperature and feeling decidedly under the weather.

In the meantime he thought you might like to know some of his...

Rules for Writers

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

6. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Don't use no double negatives.

12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


  1. tris

    I see the better together campaign alongside the snp debacle of a fast vanishing Independence dream...........has made you all sicky wicky still you can have minimum priced dram to perk yerself up

    message here

  2. Ah Niko... Thank you for your good wishes.

    As you can see from the ridiculous time in the morning that I'm writing this, I can't sleep. So a minimum price dram, which while not one of the government's better policies, but one that the UK government will likely adopt shortly, will go down nicely, thank you.

    I can't honestly see that the dream of independence is 'fast disappearing'.

    We have had 6 months of hype and flag waving over her majesty's 60th anniversary and the London Olympic Games.

    GB flags, or rather UK flags have been everywhere and UK nationalism has been rammed down our throats, but that will shortly come to an end, unless of course Mr Darling has arranged with Wills and Kate Middleton to have a baby.

    It's a long long way to 2014 and Cameron has just pointed out that over the next ten years he can't see things getting any better for good old UK. And still they will have to find £100 billion from somewhere to keep them at the top table in New York. It's all going to hell in a handcart.

    Meanwhile Norway continues to buy up more of Britain than China, using the oil fund that UK governments failed to give to Scotland, or indeed to build up for themselves.

    No I think that we will manage to get through to the 30% + or- undecided that life would immeasurably better as a small independent country than as part of an ex-imperial power which simply refuses to accept that it got old, wrinkly and past it, some 60 years ago.

    As the Labour party now have a "Labour for Independence" website and Facebook page, I wonder when you, as a faithful Labour man, will get round to seeing the light, or are you going to stick with the Tories.

  3. Thanks James.

    It's just a silly virus, but I can't be bothered writing posts, so I thought I should make my excuses.

    That said, the atrocity in Colorado, carried out with legally obtained weaponry, stirred me to write something yesterday, which on re-reading I found to be rubbish.

    I know you'll probably feel similarly, but I'm guessing you may tackle the subject of gun laws in America more knowledgeable than I would.

  4. But I can see my problem with writing are too deeply embedded ever to properly fix from this list. Life's a box of chocolates (as Forrest Gump said) though I often too many times tend to refer to that phrase. So it goes. I never can't seem get proofreading right even if read it several times.

    Go easy on the lemon, honey and hot water in the hot toddies.

  5. Tris,

    Your symptoms are pretty much the same as mine - it's what's commonly known as a hangover. Never mind, we'll get "better together"!! Get well soon, mate, and tell your mum not to use up all the whisky!

  6. Aye you're a hopeless case Doug. Unreformable I'd say

    And thank you for the advice. never have honey in the house; lemons are for fish and hot water is too expensive... so I'm with you there.


  7. Yes John. Better Together ... oh no, I feel another wave of nausea.

    My dear old mum's been on the phone; my sister has been making chicken soup, and mates from all over wishing me well, and staying well clear.

    Hope you're feeling better by now, but a hair of the dog may well work if you are not. Although I've never worked out why dog hairs should be efficacious in these matters!!

    Is THAT what my mother is saving the best whisky for...?

    Might have known.

    Oops, did I just end that sentence with a preposition?

  8. Tris,

    Sorry to read of your illness. Hope you are feeling better soon. And thanks for the writing tips. I'll do my best to follow them.

    You'll recall Churchill's response to an editor who had changed one of his sentences that had ended with a preposition. Churchill told him that such meddling with his finely crafted prose was something "up with which I will not put."

    I too had heard about that lemon juice, honey and whisky remedy. I also hear that you don't worry about the proportions. For that matter, don't even worry if you have no lemons or honey in the house.

    Get well soon mate!

    (The American spell checker here keeps telling me that "whisky" is properly spelled "whiskey.")

  9. Well Danny,

    Klearly teh American speel choker doesnt now it's biznes.

    Ha ha... yes, I had heard that Mr Churchill could be a bit on the nippy side with people who were pedants in matters where HE, Mr Churchill, was not. I suspect however, on other matters the same blokey was a bit of an old pedant himself.

    Not, I suspect one of these chappies there was much point in arguing with though. (There you are. Churchill would have liked THAT one. Not one but two prepositions!)

    Anyway. Thanks for your good wishes.

    I wish I could say I felt better for two days hanging around drifting from bedroom to kitchen, but to be honest, if anything I feel worse.

    What you reckon... put a full bottle of whisky in the microwave?

  10. Tris....

    Sorry you're feeling so bad. DO take care of yourself.

    An English teacher of mine once gave an example of a sentence that ended with no less than FIVE prepositions. It involved a child who was in an upstairs bedroom and had asked to have a story read to him. However the parent brought up a book to read from that the child did not like and had no stories that he wanted to hear. So he asked:

    "Why did you bring that book that I don't want to be read to out of up for?"

    Take care mate!

  11. Unsurpassed Danny... and thanks again for your good wishes from across the sea... (and your interesting email on gun crime and law in the USA.)

    Very thought provoking.

  12. My god, we have a fight on our hands and you call in sick tut. Get well soon and two fingers to the grammar lessons as it is double dutch to me. Carlesberg a couple of paracetamol and a large hot toddy, with honey or sugar, will get you back on your feet in 24 hours ready for the corprimpics.

  13. Get well soon tris.
    It's all this damp weather no doubt.
    Fingers crossed for the weather to improve for the Olympics.
    Been to poundland and got extra tissues in case I cry during the beach volleyball ;)

  14. I'm working from home CH... in between coughing and wheezing, and laughing like a drain at daft old Coe.

    I must be well for the Corprimpics (good name), CH. I'd hate to miss seeing all these big business names.

    So far, actually I've managed to see nothing of the torch procession but I have just watched a video on youtube and it#'s amazing... there's loads of police and then there's loads of sponsors trucks and lorries ... and then there's this bloke with the Nazi flame and it's SOOOO unimpressive and insignificant after all the big trucks with Coke and Halifax and that garbage ...

    This Hitlerian trek around the UK was all about letting these big businesses drive past and laugh at the little people who are providing this advertising event for them.

  15. Yes Monty. Indeed that is what I blame. It'll probably turn out to be rust or some fungal infection I've picked up from all the rotting vegetation!!

    Poundland? I don't think that they are sponsoring the games so if your fit of weeping is brought on by an Olympic event, I suggest you find who are sponsoring the tissues before you start buying stuff from Poundland. You don't want to find Mr Coe and the sponsorship police on your doorstep... I mean you REALLY don't.

    Anyway, don't get too emotional my boy. It may be, hmmm, sad, but erm you know what they say... big boys don't cry!

    Thank you for your good wishes. :0


    This is the Olympic torch relay.

    It's the first time I've seen the flame, and it's very small compared to all the advertising!

    Who's is going to light the cauldron? (They appear to have borrowed one from Mrs Thatcher for the duration.) Very undignified carry on about it, don't you think?

  17. The London 2012 Olympics will benefit the private sponsors of the Games but not the ordinary people of Britain

    Agree – 64%

    Disagree – 18%

    Again, older people are more likely to agree: 72% of those aged 65 and over agree, compared to 54% of those aged 18 to 24.

    I am looking forward to the London 2012 Olympics

    Agree – 41%

    Disagree – 45%

    People in Scotland (31%) are least likely to agree. Highest agreement is found in the West Midlands (48%); 44% of men say they are looking forward to the Olympics compared with 38% of women.

    I am dreading the London 2012 Olympics

    Agree – 30%

    Disagree – 57%

    Methodology: ComRes interviewed 2,006 GB adults online on 18 and 19 July 2012. Data were weighted to be demographically representative of all GB adults and by past vote recall. ComRes is a member of the British Polling Council and abides by its rules. Full tables at ComRes.

  18. Samsung motto 'No Kia in my fleet'.

    The similarities to 1936 are more evident by the day and as to Goebbels propaganda the BBC has done him proud.

  19. I have much better recipe to cure you with.
    Cider(any brand will do, but strong stuff like Weston's vintage is better like)in a saucepan, add a stick of cinnamon, some cloves, star anise and some brandy.
    Heat until just before boiling.

    And then drink the rest of the brandy.

  20. tris. Ah Mr Coe....

    "Sebastian Coe is living proof that doing sports doesn’t build character." my favourite quote so far lol

    He said you can't wear a pepsi logo t shirt at the limpicks as coca cola are the sponsors. Nike trainers might be ok though.

  21. Ha ha CH :)

    Yes, it's quite frightening how readily the Tories adapt to Hitlerian ways.

  22. LOL Conan. I wouldn't want to live on the left overs in your house.

    I'll put the stove on now...

  23. Yes, that's quite a good quote Monty. Who was it that said that? You?

    It's a bit worrying that he said 'probably', given how much the tickets cost. I mean you wouldn't want to risk being sent home to change. That said, at £100+ a pair, it's not everyone who has two or three pair, and for those of us without much interest in the doings of big business, would you necessarily remember which brands were ok and which were not... obviously apart from VISA (because without a Visa card you couldn't have bought a ticket anyway).

    I just hope loads of people react like I am, and refuse to buy any more of the sponsors' products.

  24. Nice article, thanks for the information.

  25. Can't for the life on me imagine why anyone in Jakarta would be remotely interested in my flu...

    But hey, how fame spreads...

  26. How popular we are, Conan. LOL