MUNGUIN JUST WANTS TO LET YOU KNOW...

...THAT HE HAS NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER OF DOING ANY CLEANING FOR THE QUEEN

Scotland, he says, is already perfectly clean enough for elderly royals. 

And if she wants it any cleaner, she can jolly well send up some skivvies from one of her many palaces in London Town and they can do the scrubbing. 

And if she has none spare then maybe Air Miles or one of his Bloody Princesses could lend a hand with a bucket and mop, if they could get back from holiday for the occasion.

We give her enough money to employ staff. 

Seriously, we've never heard anything so bloody laughable. Hello, this is 2016! 

What cloud do these people live on? 

Apparently, when the MPs had a meeting about it at Westminster, not one single Scottish MP turned up.

Too right!