Dear Capita,

Thank you for your threatening letter suggesting that I am a criminal.

For the record, I am not.

Can I propose to you that in this day and age, when there are so many distractions, so much to do with one's time, the fact that a household does not use a television set should no longer be looked upon as so weird as to be probably untrue?

It is a fact that I had a television set for a brief period of time, after having not had one for many years. This was due to the fact that I had had surgery which had left me with severe nerve pain and restricted my ability to do the other things that I normally do to fill my life. 

I bought the tv set, paid for an aerial to be installed and took out a direct debit to pay my licence fee. 

I admit I found the whole idea of a licence fee to be ridiculous and anachronistic. It may have served well in the days of a BBC monopoly. It must have been less suitable once STV and Channels Four and Five arrived, but in the days of 100+ channels it is preposterous.

I found that I watched almost no BBC at all. In fact I watched tv very little, despite being indisposed, but when I did it was likely to be a channel that the BBC had no part in.

I didn't get my news from the BBC. That came far more conveniently and reliably on line where there was a choice of bias, instead of the British Establishment bias for which the BBC is now famed.

On a few occasions, I admit,  I would flick through channels in desperation looking for something that wasn't too unwatchable, almost invariably finding nothing.

Despite the fact that the tv sat largely redundant in the corner, it remained for a few years, attached to the aerial and I continued to allow you to take money from my account to fund your "activities". 

I am, after all, by and large, a law abiding Scottish citizen.

The crunch came for me during the Scottish Referendum campaign, where the BBC, predictably, took the side of the British Establishment against the Yes Campaign.

It didn't take academic studies to show that the BBC, the station I was paying for but not watching, was biased to a preposterous degree, although there were such studies. 

I decided at some point in July or August that I could no longer pay for a service that was, in my opinion, working against my best interests.

I emailed your organisation at that time and told you that I wished my licence fee to be discontinued and I explained why.

I received a polite reply telling me that my direct debit would be stopped and any monies due to me would be repaid, which they were. On that day I detached the tv set from the aerial and removed the coaxial cable from the room in which the tv set stands. (I still have a collection of DVDs which I occasionally watch.)

I was somewhat surprised then in December to have a letter from you telling me that my licence was due for renewal. Do you have no internal communications systems?

Since then I have been sent various "red" letters telling me that I can expect a visit for one of your enforcement people. 

This is my response to your threatening letters.

I hereby withdraw any implied right of access that you have to my property.

You are welcome to send one of your representatives, without any forewarning, but I warn you in advance that, given that you are a private profit making joint stock company and have no authority , you will NOT be allowed access to my house unless you provide me with the appropriate Scottish Court Order, and/or are accompanied by a member of Police Scotland with proper authority to search my premises. 

At that point, and only in these circumstances, will I offer you the opportunity to look at my television set, my computer, laptop and phone. 

I repeat that I expect no pre warning of your arrival, but remind you that you will require a search warrant granted and signed by (in Scotland) a Sheriff, which is only granted when you make a representation to the court, under oath, stating that you have real evidence that a television is being used. 

I am not the criminal you clearly take me for, and I will comply immediately to any action sanctioned by the Scottish legal system.

Other than than, please do not waste my time or your own with any further communications on this subject.

Yours sincerely

Munguin