Wednesday, 30 March 2011


Prince Andrew, some might feel, has had a pretty hard time recently. The company he keeps has come under close scrutiny from the press. People have wanted to know why the government’s ambassador for trade spends his time with gun runners, sex offenders and super rich women.

There have been questions about why some of these people have been paying off debts of Andrew’s ex-wife Duchess Sarah Ferguson, or paying millions over the odds for his house and then leaving it lying derelict. It couldn’t surely, people are whispering, be anything to do with buying favours, could it?

Further questions have been asked about the behaviour of his nightclubbing daughters and their requirements for royal security while they fall about drunk or take gap years and travel like “ordinary people” around the world.

And his propensity to allow his friends to use nearby, and convenient RAF bases to land their private jets has been called into question, along with his liking for a royal flight to go play golf.

That his ex-wife has been inclined to try to sell a meeting with him, because, as usual, she’s been living well beyond her means and needs the dosh, has done him no good; neither have his rants directed at the French, or his hosts, or the people who tried to stop corrupt practices between BAA and Saudi princes, at lunches where too much of the fare has been of the liquid variety.

His considered opinion that the bankers’ bonuses were peanuts and we’re all making far too much of them, has also caused what Mr Gove would have been pleased to describe as “disquiet”.

So, over the few weeks prior to David Cameron taking us into yet another war over oil, the pages of newspapers from the Independent to the Record were full of stories of government disapproval, of Andrew being invited to meetings with the FCO to review his progress and of speculation that his career as a somewhat dodgy diplomat was as good as over.

But, lucky for him, his boss thought different. And his boss is far more important that the FCO or the prime minister. And it seems that she has been pleased, instead of disciplining him, to install him with one of the highest honours of chivalry that it is within her power to give.

And so it was that on his 51st birthday (it must be the good living) he was installed Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order in an investiture held at Windsor Castle. (Well, at least he didn’t have too far to travel.)

His boss of course is the Queen, his mummy.

And the reason given for this somewhat bizarre behavior on her part was that HM thought it was ‘the right time to do it’... and who is there to argue with her?

Most people, given a track record like the one Andrew has, would be down the jobcentre in double quick time, but clearly it’s not what you know but who you know that matters in the diplomatic and trade worlds.

More seriously, as the world many people have known all their lives, particularly in England, falls around their heads, the people at the top demonstrate once again their complete detatchment from all that is real as they continue to live their lives like nothing has happened.

Thank goodness we are all in this together.

Pics: (1)Andrew, erm, at work, diplomatting all over the place; (2) Some drunked trollop? No, wait a minute, it's princess of the blood royal. Easy mistake to make; (3) Da boss lady in her work overalls.


  1. Good old Brenda and her odious brood...honours all round! Air Miles has a way to go to catch up with old Big Ears, mummy has given him just about every honour, title and bauble there is for doing such a great job of being a pompous, annoying jackass. Now Air Miles is getting in on the act and will soon have the whole alphabet after his name.

  2. His Royal Highness The Prince Andrew Albert Christian Edward, Duke of York, Earl of Inverness, Baron Killyleagh, Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order, Canadian Forces Decoration, Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty.

    Not a bad name to go to the kirk with.

    I wish he'd just stick to playing golf and getting drunk. According to some ex-diplomats (current ones would be sacked for saying it) he's an embarrassment to the country.

  3. stop attacking the royal family.

    Personally, I'd introduce an oath to the Queen and the flag every morning in school registration classes, like they do in the USA.

    Its called loyalty.

  4. Dean said...
    stop attacking the royal family.

    Personally, I'd introduce an oath to the Queen and the flag every morning in school registration classes, like they do in the USA.

    Its called loyalty.

    Monarchy = cloaked Dictatorship.

  5. Hmmm Dean.

    Would you indeed? I reckon that would be the fastest way to get rid of them.

    Why, in any case should we owe the royals "loyalty" and in what way is paying for drunken princesses "loyalty"

    I will not stop attacking them. They are a bunch of ridiculous self serving and utterly detached individuals who live in a fairy tale world at our expense.

    If they want to be treated in some silly ‘Ruritanian’ way then they should stop involving themselves in the business of running a supposedly modern country. We don’t need to know the opinions of Prince Andrew on whether cheating thieving Saudi princes should be paid bribes by companies supported by the UK government.

    We don’t want people working for the government having close friendships with arms smugglers and sex offenders, and we certainly don’t want to be supporting drunken little madams who think that the country owes them a living....

    Andrew is doing more harm than good, but of course no one in government or even in parliament is allowed to say a word against him, on pain of that idiotic little popinjay of a speaker, having one of his little hissy fits.

    No, Dean, I won’t stop criticising the royal family until they behave like a royal family should or are gone, whichever comes first.

  6. Dean what else would republicans do?

    If you want to be a cringing sycophant and bend the knee first thing every morning and last thing every night to King Maria or Princess Brenda or whoever, when you finally make your mind up which particular branch of royals you want to slobber over the most, that is your business, go and knock yourself out! But it’s never a good idea to butter your toast on both sides Dean, and don’t think they wont notice!

  7. I really don’t think we could be taking a master class in loyalty from a so called royalist who refuses to give his Sovereign her due title of Her Majesty in the hope that some Kraut will come over and fill the role. Talk about mixed loyalties, I’m more loyal to the Queen than you are Dean!