FMQ: In which Brain Taylor talks through the beginning and the end of the programme

It seems that there is some good news about a company called Blackrock, which the First Minister was explaining as the idiot Brain Taylor was trying to crack jokes whilst doing his best not to burst. Why can’t he just shut up so that we can get to FMQs at the damned beginning?

Mind, I’d have been just as happy to have Brain Taylor as to have the Snarl who decided, in light of the fact that he’s not very bright, to have yet another pop about “The Gathering”. As he rambled on in his unpleasant, whiny, second rate fashion I lost the will to live never mind listen. Alex said that he had answered all the questions when he appeared before the committee, (yawn) and at one point, in response to a noise from the Noble Lord at the back, he got in an amusing quip about the fact that Lord Georgie could have asked any questions he wanted had be bothered to turn up to the committee. One Noble and Gracious personage put firmly in their place!

Gray took over 11 minutes of the 30 minutes allotted to the whole chamber. Waste of time.

Annabel asked about domestic violence, particularly relating to football matches, applauded by the chamber (expect Labour). Alex gave a sensible answer applauded by the chamber (except Labour). Annabel pointed out that there had been violence on the field too, and that the players and managers must be made aware this was unacceptable. Violence at old firm matches, the alcohol consumed and the aftermath at home for (usually) women and children was something the whole chamber could surely agree was unacceptable and repulsive, agreed the FM, and when Annabel asked if the FM would meet with her and other leaders and arrange a meeting with the clubs, police and football authorities, he was pleased to agree and reported that he had already spoken with the Chief Constable of Strathclyde to set up the meeting Annabel had proposed.

This is the way that parliament should deal with most business: in a spirit of co-operation and a desire to see the best for Scotland. But, like yesterday when they abstained in Scottish parliamentary motions on petrol taxation at the next UK budget, Labour failed to applaud this sensible exchange. How do they feel about drunken domestic violence? Anyone know?.

Tavish’s questions about Scottish Enterprise and Skill Development Scotland seemed sensible, particularly when he asked about the £4½ million that was spent last year on PR consultants and marketing. I’d have liked the answer to that, but Alex side stepped whether he thought it was money well spent. To be fair SE has been doing good work recently as has SDS. 25,000 modern apprenticeships in the next year is an impressive number, but why the PR consultants?.

Nigel Don and Robert Brown asked about worries that the Scotland Bill will work to undermine the independence of Scots law. Maybe it’s something Cameron would like to see more of so that his “this must never happen again” might mean something. Cameron seems to have an ally in Wendy Three Brains Alexander, Labour’s spokeswoman on the Scotland Act (at least for the next few weeks). She sat shaking her head, and looking strange as only Wendy can, as the FM replied. The High Court is the highest legal authority in criminal cases in the country and has been since the 1800s. It should remain so, but, apparently clauses giving overarching authority in all UK law to the Supreme Court in England, likely to be put into the Scotland Bill, have not yet been published and may not be available to be discussed by parliament (although the FM has seen them).

Cathy Craigie asked about the education of children with sensory impairment, but before the First Minister had got much past the first few sentences of his reply, Brian Taylor interrupted to say that we had come to the end of the programme.

Pics:(1) Brain Taylor: talk less and let’s hear what is going on in parliament. No one cares what you think. (2) It was this or Iain Thingummy; I thought on balance you’d probably rather look at tartan drawers. (3) Alex and Annabel: They can be at daggers drawn, but they are both good parliamentarians, and fiendishly sharp. (4) Wendy praying that the photographers will one day get a shot of her where she doesn’t look like a complete tea cake.