Thursday, 3 March 2011

FMQ: In which Brain Taylor talks through the beginning and the end of the programme

It seems that there is some good news about a company called Blackrock, which the First Minister was explaining as the idiot Brain Taylor was trying to crack jokes whilst doing his best not to burst. Why can’t he just shut up so that we can get to FMQs at the damned beginning?

Mind, I’d have been just as happy to have Brain Taylor as to ha
ve the Snarl who decided, in light of the fact that he’s not very bright, to have yet another pop about “The Gathering”. As he rambled on in his unpleasant, whiny, second rate fashion I lost the will to live never mind listen. Alex said that he had answered all the questions when he appeared before the committee, (yawn) and at one point, in response to a noise from the Noble Lord at the back, he got in an amusing quip about the fact that Lord Georgie could have asked any questions he wanted had be bothered to turn up to the committee. One Noble and Gracious personage put firmly in their place!

Gray took over 11 minutes of the 30 minutes allotted to the whole chamber. Waste of time.

Annabel asked about domestic violence, particularly relating to football matches, applauded by the chamber (expect Labour). Alex gave a sensible answer applauded by the chamber (except Labour). Annabel pointed out that there had been violence on the field too, and that the players and managers must be made aware this was unacceptable. Violence at old firm matches, the alcohol consumed and the aftermath at home for (usually) women and children was something the whole chamber could surely agree was unacceptable and repulsive, agreed the FM, and when
Annabel asked if the FM would meet with her and other leaders and arrange a meeting with the clubs, police and football authorities, he was pleased to agree and reported that he had already spoken with the Chief Constable of Strathclyde to set up the meeting Annabel had proposed.

This is the way that parliament should deal with most business: in a spirit of co-operation and a desire to see the best for Scotland. But, like yesterday when they abstained in Scottish parliamentary motions on petrol taxation at the next UK budget, Labour failed to applaud this sensible exchange. How do they feel about drunken domestic violence? Anyone know?.

Tavish’s questions about Scottish Enterprise and Skill Development Scotland seemed sensible, particularly when he asked about the £4½ million that was spent last year on PR consultants and marketing. I’d have liked the answer to that, but Alex side stepped whether he thought it was money well spent. To be fair SE has been doing good work recently as has SDS. 25,000 modern apprenticeships in the next year is an impressive number, but why the PR consultants?.

Nigel Don and Robert Brown asked about worries that the Scotland Bill will work to undermine the independence of Scots law. Maybe it’s something Cameron would like to see more of so that his “this must never happen
again” might mean something. Cameron seems to have an ally in Wendy Three Brains Alexander, Labour’s spokeswoman on the Scotland Act (at least for the next few weeks). She sat shaking her head, and looking strange as only Wendy can, as the FM replied. The High Court is the highest legal authority in criminal cases in the country and has been since the 1800s. It should remain so, but, apparently clauses giving overarching authority in all UK law to the Supreme Court in England, likely to be put into the Scotland Bill, have not yet been published and may not be available to be discussed by parliament (although the FM has seen them).

Cathy Craigie asked about the education of children with sensory impairment, but before the First Minister had got much past the first few sentences of his reply, Brian Taylor interrupted to say that we had come to the end of the programme.

Pics:(1) Brain Taylor: talk less and let’s hear what is going on in parliament. No one cares what you think. (2) It was this or Iain Thingummy; I thought on balance you’d probably rather look at tartan drawers. (3) Alex and Annabel: They can be at daggers drawn, but they are both good parliamentarians, and fiendishly sharp. (4) Wendy praying that the photographers will one day get a shot of her where she doesn’t look like a complete tea cake.


  1. I wish Brian Taylor would desist from wearing those bright shirts and braces. He looks like a latter day Hindenburg straining at its guy ropes!

  2. He might burst his guys and take off one day Munguin, then we wouldn't have to listen to him trying to be smart, ever again. What bliss.

    However, imagine what it would do to radar...

  3. He's filling in time before the p45 is delivered and will be no loss to politics in Scotland.

  4. Now that Rupert looks like he's going to get what he wanted (as if there were ever any doubt), maybe Tubby will get a job with News Int.

  5. Oh dear, what will Niko make of the SNP applauding Aunty Bella's question and the Tories applauding Salmond's answer? Anyway, as a Hearts supporter, what would Salmond know about football?

  6. Well John. It's always difficult to know what Niko will make of anything. I suspect there will be accusations of Tartan Tories thrown at the SNP. (That will be the SNP that halted the damaging "right to buy"; that built the first council houses since Maggie's day, and that supports the idea of LIT which would take people who pay no income tax out of paying maybe £1000 a year in council tax.) Policies any Labour party worthy of the name should have been adopting, but we'll hurry over these inconveniences.

    Instead I think that while it is the opposition’s job to oppose, Gray in his enthusiasm to fulfil the “opposition” part of his job description (if not the “leader” part) should remember that it is beyond monstrous that the national game should be an excuse for beating up your partner and kids. Failure of the Labour benches to applaud Ms Goldie’s raising of the matter and the FM answering in measured tones would seem to suggest one of two things. Either they are so determined to resist ANYTHING the SNP does that they will resist good with bad, or that they think it is silly to bother about a bit of wife and kid beating.

    Now most of us know that it’s the first and not the second. I can’t imagine for a minute that the militant feminist tendency on the Labour side think kindly of drunken men coming home and kicking their women and children about. And to be fair I can’t imagine either that Iain Gray approves. He may be stupid, but he’s a human being.

    But Gray should be aware that it sends out a bad message. Not everyone will be as charitable towards him as I am.

    The exchange between Goldie and Salmond was adult and serious and an example to politicians not just in Holyrood, but elsewhere too. It dealt with something that we should all be ashamed of, and which we should ALL want to sort. If we don’t there’s something wrong with us, in my humble opinion.

    I noticed in the BBC English news this morning, Scotland got a mention. This is unusual. The Deputy Chief Constable of Strathclyde was pointing out that there was indeed a rise in the number of domestic abuse complaints following the match, the on field disputes and the trouble in the streets. His concern, rather to his discredit, seemed to be that it was beyond his budgets to police this nonsense. Funny old world.

    BTW. Munguin’s Republic takes all the credit for the fact that Alex has stopped shouting at Elmer Fudd, following on from our request a few weeks ago. Alex clearly reads the blog that tells it how it is.

    (God that man shows some restraint. If it had been me I’d have taken a hatchet to his whiny neck long before now.)

  7. PS... Any Questions comes tonight from Scotland, and includes the Deputy First Minister and the Leader of the Tory Party in Scotland on the panel.

    This programme, the sister of the tv version, is chaired by Dumblebum the Younger. It will be interesting to see if, in the way of Dumblebum the Elder, the two ranking female politicians in the Scottish Parliament are told to restrict their comments to English matters as this programme goes out on Radio 4 , a NATIONAL radio station and not some hick thistleseed station operating from the backroom of the Tartan Tavern in Auchinshoogle, whose listeners might be interested in small domestic SCOTTISH matters.

    Seriously it should be an interesting programme. It’s on at 8 pm, repeated tomorrow at 1 (I think).

  8. My GP (bless her) has advised me to stop watching FMQs and QT, as my tendency to shout and swear at the telly when Flubber with Blubber Taylor appears, she believes contributed to my hypertension, which she has now, with my cooperation, got under control. Reading about it cause some flushing but not much more, as adding a comment can ease the symptoms.

    Reading blogs and commenting it seems is not as dangerous to my health. Brian Taylor's blog is just hilarious so much so I fear he will take it down. He is skewered on there every time he opens it by the Cyber Nats who I am proud to say I am one of. And then he bangs the door shut and stomps of of in the huff. Or takes out posts that offend his Unionist sympathies.

    On a similar note I am delighted to see that comments on The Scotsman Newspaper site have been suspended after Maddox came in for some richly deserved abuse. I do hope it stays shut permanently as it was a sewer of Trolls and agitators. It is strongly rumoured that Lord Zebedee Foulkes was one of the more regular abusers.

  9. 'may not be available to be discussed by parliament'

    And till the Nationalists are thrown out (in May) long may that be the case.

    and as fore the Tartan torys and the Tory torys applauding each other only as natural as kin should.....

    they are after all both hands of the same rotten nasty political body and this will show the Scottish peoples the truth of that fact

    Alex Salmond heir to Thatcher (no good denying it)

  10. I mean its a bit(lot) like watching Idi amin (salmond) backslapping pol pot in the killing fields.

  11. Niko, my dear, I think you've got your parties mixed up. It was Blair and Brown that were responsible for the killing fields and cities of Irag. Did you see the bully Salmond slapping down the poor inoffensive Foulkes? I nearly did the same as George is wont to do and fell off my chair!

  12. KBW: I'm glad to hear your hypertension is better. I suspect you might be well advised to take a flight to somewhere warm and out of the reach of tv and radio. I suspect that this year is going to be a hard one to bear if you are trying to avoid hugh blood pressure.

  13. Niko... you're so predictable...

  14. Don't they make the perfect couple CH... L'amour.. c'est formidable! Mrs T is pretty in pink ... ha ha ha ha ha

  15. Niko, we all realize that you are a Cybernat in disguise only trying to put Labour in such bad repute that they are sure lose. I must admit you used to be better at it but you've started getting so extreme that it has become obvious.

    Either draw back a tad, my lad, or just admit you're a fake. =)

  16. Poor His Nobilityness John. He's such an idiot. It must be all that inbreeding that these nobles do what does it... on the other hand I've heard he likes a drink....or six

  17. KBW... that should, of course, be HIGH blood pressure.

  18. Hello JR...

    Yes, that's it. Niko is really Nicola S.

    I've been wondering who he reminded me of...

    I'd better be more repectful to him/her in future seeing as how she's the deputy FM...

    Go on yersel Niko... yer a braw lassie!

    Howz that then?

  19. J R tomlin calling me a fake

    tris and your sofastidious

  20. Ha ha ha Niko, you've defo surpassed yourself tonight. I wish to point out that although my kitchen floor is clean enough to eat your dinner off, I've never worn stilletos while mopping it, so you must be getting me mixed up with some other person you know.

    I'm a tad worried about your knowledge of English Literature, but I'll excuse you as it is foreign. I'm sure you hae a better grasp of the great names of Scottish Literature.

    I was wondering why you have been sneaking around taking photographs of mr Brownlie whilst he is engaged in computing. That's a bit kinky, don't you think? You should see a shrink, I think!

  21. You should see a shrink, I think!

    He will in May 'Not a lot' but will shrink.

  22. Niko,

    Please get a grip my good man, you sound a tad like our Peter (resurrected from the dead I see, he's been over here too).

    I echo sentiments above: is our Niko for real? No, surely not? Not unless he is as my dear Grannie says "a few coppers short of a chippie"? (I do come from Glasgow you know, we love our chips we do!, A bad habbit, a tad like Liebore Council!)

  23. Judging from Brian Taylor, so does he ... did I ever tell you lot the time when I was a te Tory Perth after-conference drinkie and Brian got naked, and had a blind folded Mundell feel him up playig 'guess the celeb'?

    Its a good story, one for a pub visit me thinks .. time our Munguin and Tris arranged an online regulars get-to-gether, Brownlie brings the whisky, I'll bring the towells...

  24. Have a care, young Dean, have a care. Tris once slapped me down for wanting to indulge in choir practice with Wendy which is pretty mild compared to your story!!!

    I once had a drink with one of your heroes, Rhodes Boyson and he kept calling me "my boy" - I had wondered where my Tory inclinations had come from!

  25. Dean: I don't feel very well today! I wonder why?

    I would have to advise that you keep that story to yourself. I'm beggining to think that you must frequent the same kind of pubs as Tommy Sheridan!

  26. Well, we're hoping so anyway CH.

  27. Ye Gads Dean....

    I worry about you being allowed to go to something as depraved as a Tory after class drinkie...

    Geez, the thought of Taylor with his corset off is enough to bring water to the eyes. You know they used to say that Wendy Alexander had a brain the size of a small planet (although I always thought that there was an extra “e” in there!!) but I’m sure I’ve seen small moon-like satellites circling Mr Taylor’s body!

  28. PS Dean... Have you ever tried to get John Brownlie to BRING a drink anywhere....?

  29. Choir practice Mr B? I don't remember slapping you down for anything as innocent as choir practice. However, if may be that I suspected underhand (or under something) goings on...


  30. In Perth Munguin? Tut tut, what's the world coming to?

  31. tris,

    Ask your mum, then? I've only just noticed the photo Niko posted of me. I've put on a bit of weight since then!!!

  32. " The High Court is the highest legal authority in criminal cases in the country "

    Despite weekly cases going through the ECHR and ECJ contradicting this statement our politicians still get away with spouting this nonsense.

    On topic with dodgy dealings , does anyone know if Tavish Scott still plans to trouser his £100k from the sale of his designer pad in Edinburgh ?
    The story seems to have lost legs for some reason.

  33. Try asking here. But don't hold your breath while waiting for it to get published.

  34. cynical..

    Ha ha you too have had perfectly good comments blocked by Caron. I've had 2 blocked recently. I think the Barnsley by election finished her off ;)
    I've always wondered why left wing / liberal blogs and newspapers are the only ones which seem to block any critical comments. They seem to live in a whooly world where everyone agrees with each other.
    It's disappointing that they are allowed to use open blogs like Munguin, subrosa etc to advertise themselves as I'm sure these blogs don't agree with blatant censorship.

  35. UKIPer

    I only added a few words to her title "in total denial". Shrugs shoulders.

  36. I think I criticised Nick. Big no no ;)
    I was going to ask her if Mr Alexander's promise to reduce fuel duty for Islanders might be against EU rules but I hate talking to myself so didn't bother.

  37. Yes I think the whole blog thing should be analysed a lot more deeply.
    Blogs like subrosa, munguin etc will allow any comments as long as they're not defamatory or full of foul language.
    All political persuasions can have their say.
    They will link to censored blogs like 'Carons Musings' where any slight against the 'great leader Nick' are immediately blocked and deleted.
    Why do we put up with this nonsense ?
    People die for the right to speak in Libya, Saudi, Venezuela etc... Why do we put up with cencorship in Scotland ?
    Get rid of Caron and her feeble attempts to show the horrendous Lib Dems in a good light.

  38. I've tried that Carons blog a few times but she always blocks me.
    I suspect there is more freedom in Riyadh than you would ever find in Caron's blog.

  39. I would confirm that George. I've tried asking for freedom in Bahrain but found that Caron's blog tried to block my thoughts.

  40. I’ve observed several things about Lib Dem blogs (Caron and Stephen’s whatever journal it is now). Firstly they seem to blog like a pack of Starlings all saying similar things on similar subjects, which suggests to me that they are being directed from somewhere. Secondly although they pay lip service to freedom of speech they employ a number of tactics to circumvent criticism. The most obvious being that they do not put comments up until a story is old and dead and you have lost interest, or indeed not at all!

  41. Munguin..

    Yes I've noticed the same thing Munguin.
    I think the best plan is for you to stop supporting the left wing blogs like Caron and Wrinkled weasel and all the other blogs that detest free speech.
    It won't be effective against the BBC totally but will be a small start.
    People in Tunisia , Egypt, Libya, Bagrain and Saudi have to suffer Caron Musing type blockages to freedom but every little helps.

  42. Pretty amazing that going from second to sixth and dropping from a 17% share to 4% is par for the course!

  43. No wonder Tavish is putting out feelers for coalition partners in Perth if they stay on that course come May....destination oblivion!

  44. Caron's secret lovechildMarch 06, 2011 12:16 am

    Good thinking Munguin.
    And also keep ahead of Tavishes £100k taxpayer funded new motor aswell. I reckon he will run for cover in early April. But don't let him.
    Do some countdown to the taxpayer funder sale of his house or something.

  45. Aye right, I'll ask her John...

    You know, once you get to a certain age, they tell me, it's better to be a few pounds over... it guards against that scraggy, old look....

  46. Well Kipper, George, Monty, Cynical, etc... I'm not sure that it's a good idea to turn your back on reading a point of view, especially if (like in the link from CH) you get a great laugh at the madness of it all.

    I can see your point that we should take them off the list because having them on it makes it look as if we are supportive of their way of operating. Well, you can see from Munguin's comments that we are not.

    Of course our taking them off the bloglist is hardly going to make a huge difference to them. They won't be quaking in their boots....

    I agree though. A good blog lets people say more or less (within certain bounds) what they want, and does its best to respond....

    Well that's my opinion anyway.

    I guess Munguin and I will have a chat about it Sunday... and make a decision, which we'll let you know... and why.


  47. tris..

    I'd just say that people like Caron are taking you for a fool.
    Freedom in the UK is something that we should cherish. It won't last for long. Try to avoid filling in your census form or not paying your tv tax. You will be taken straight to prison. How is this freedom ?
    Caron is everything that is wrong with the UK.
    A denier of freedom ( try saying Nick is a total cock and see how far you get )
    So please block all these anti democratic people who hate Scotland.

  48. tris I don't think anyone is suggesting in who or whom is not on your bloglist I just tried to highlight the utter hypocrisy of these activist supposedly believing in democracy in the way they manipulate their comment policy. Caron is quite probably quite a nice person in life, deluded in her views, maybe but integrity comes before ones own bias in my book anyway.

  49. George, like I say, I'll discuss it with Munguin.

    I haven't seen him yet.

    As for the examples you give, it has I think ever been thus. I don't agree with a licence fee, but if there is one there has to be a way of forcing people to pay it...otherwise very few wood.

    The idea of the census is mad. By the time the figures have been collated even today, they are out of date. In the last census there was an area given Social Inclusion Partnership status, and vast amounts of government money, which had infact been bulldozed and replaced with private housing...

    But if they are going to spend multi millions on it then at least everyone has to be obliged to fill it in. Otherwise those of us who do are being charged for something that is even less uselful!

    Don't try to pressure me with this; it won't work.

  50. I know you did CH... I think though that you're wrong when you say that no one tried to influence... "George" most assuredly did.

    In any case my having Caron on or off my bloglist won't make the slightest difference to her or her views. I doubt if she even knows that she is here.

  51. OK... Decision made.

    The blogs will stay on the bloglist.

    What we wanted to do was have as wide a range of opinion on the blog as we could (without going wild).

    Clearly neither of us endorses the views of all the blogs we list...there are Tory blogs, Labour and Liberal. Rude ones and polite ones too.

    The editing policies of the blogs are down to the owners. Some people answer, some don't. Some people don't put up all responses, some do.

    It's not our place to judge other people's editorial policy. After all, I have taken down a couple of posts on Munguin's Republic. That's my business.

    I suppose the thing to do if you ahve a problem with a blog, is to avoid commenting....

    Hope you see our point of view.