IF YOU'VE NO PLANS FOR TOMORROW MORNING...

...and you live in the Glasgow area... then I know a place where you can go...

It's absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Englishmen. It's for Scots to decide. That's why Dave the Spiv is absolutely set against debating with Alex Salmond... It's simply NOT HIS BUSINESS.

That's maybe why he's sending that well known Scotsman Wee Willie Hague, another failed Tory leader, to Glasgow to lecture us in his superior English way. 

Presumably we will be told about the hundreds of thousands of embassies and consulates that litter every corner of the globe, and which are there just to serve you when you are abroad (as long as you have a title). Scotland couldn't afford one in every country in the world.

Don't forget; wherever Wee Willie goes,
the wicked old puppet mistress is always pulling the strings

Probably he'll throw in another warning about the EU throwing Scotland out and Nato refusing to even talk to us, not being on the UN Security Council and no one in the world wanting to do business with us, or indeed even recognising us as a country.

There's bound to be a piece about how much clout we won't have.

It will almost certainly be a load of bollocks.

So, if you're in Glasgow and you've nothing much else to do, go and welcome the wee soul. As a Tory he'll feel a bit lonely otherwise and Glasgows a frightening place if you are all alone.

Just one thing though... unless you want to see the wee soul cry, don't ask him about Robert Gates' speech...