The Speaker of the London parliament has released a double whammy to cheer us up through the dark days of Osborne's austerity, and heaven knows, we need it.
His portrait and coat of arms, which in case you missed them, are displayed here for your delectation have been released to us.
Although I can't claim to be Brian Sewell, I dare to offer the opinion that it's not a bad likeness, catching him, as it does, in one of his regular pompous poses. I feel rather sorry for the poor clerk sitting on his left who manages to get only half of himself into the portrait, but that aside, I suppose it's good enough, until you hear the price tag.
Like most things commissioned by the state it is massively overpriced at £37,000. I mean, who required a year and a half at average wages to paint this. Surely a few weeks would have been sufficient. And how, when we are in such a mess, with a new black hole opening up this very day, can we afford £37,000 for a picture? That would heat 50 pensioners' homes over winter, maybe keeping them alive!
Moving on, the coat of arms, which looks like something you could buy from the pound shop, comes without a price tag, but you can bet it wasn't cheap.
The swords supposedly represent the ancient swords of the kings of East Saxony, adopted by the University of Essex, his Alma Mater. The ladder shows that he has risen from humble beginnings to be the most senior commoner in the land (sigh), although some have suggested that it's because he is rather on the short side! The balls, wait for it, because he likes tennis, and under the scroll the gay and lesbian flag which indicates that...well, who knows?
"All are Equal" had me rolling about on the floor with laughter, coming as it does, from the man who demanded that ordinary mortals clear the corridors for him and his procession of clerks on their way to the chamber on an ordinary working day.
What utter nonsense it is anyway. All are not and have never been equal. And what is more, 'all' are becoming less and less equal by the day.
But there, I suppose it is the kind of thing that looks good on the bottom of a coat of arms. I mean we'd have criticised the man if he'd chosen "I'm better than you lot" as his motto.
At least, unlike me, he resisted the temptation to have it in Latin.
Once again, it seems, Mrs Thatcher has been invited to Downing Street by Gordon Brown.
In a photo opportunity that one must assume was arranged to please the voters of southern England rather than those of his own North Britain, Mr Brown once again stood on the doorstep of Number 10 with the Baroness: The Iron Lady and the Tin Man.
The occasion was the unveiling of the portrait that Mr Brown commissioned of his heroine for the stairway of the prime minister’s official London residence. The honour is immense considering that normally only photographs to 20th century prime ministers are hung in Downing Street, the exceptions being David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill. She is also thought to be the first living prime minister to have a portrait hung there. Mr Brown was applauded warmly when he praised Thatcher’s determination and resolution, by an audience of her friends and colleagues from her period in office together with David Cameron. He continued, and this from a sometime Scotsman, and a Labour one at that: "You were a great leader and I want to thank you for the great service you gave to our country". Obviously Brown meant it when he said he was a North Britishman.
This is not Mrs Thatcher’s first visit to Downing Street since Mr Brown took over as prime minister in 2007. Shortly after his appointment he invited the baroness to take tea, and presented her with a tea service, a sensible use of money as doubtless it was just what she needed. She was later invited to Chequers, the prime ministers country estate to take luncheon. It is also rumoured that Brown has put in place plans to give her a state funeral, an honour normally reserved for monarchs.
Clearly Mr Brown and Mrs Thatcher enjoy a touching closeness. I hope that the SNP will use photographs of these two together in the election campaign which has already started, to remind the people of Scotland who Mr Brown’s friends are.
