I believe we’re on the brink of something special in our country. (Abyss?)
This year, we’ve seen more people in work than at any time in our history; more of our children starting university than ever before; more British entrepreneurs setting up shop than anywhere else in Europe. You didn't feel obliged at this point to mention that there are record numbers of people going to foodbanks, or that this is likely to skyrocket once your cull of the working poor begins?
Wages are rising. (For MPs?) Hope is returning (For the Lords?) We’re moving into the light. (Spelt with an "sh" rather than an "l"?)
But we’re not there yet. We’re only halfway through. (Yippee!)
We can make this era – these 2010s – a defining decade for our country: the turnaround decade. (Well we are half way through them and all you have done so far is spread misery and disillusionment. Are you going to turnaround that?)
And our goal is a Greater Britain. (There we differ. Greater isn't something most of us aspire to. Our aim here is a better Scotland. Hopefully you can have a better Britain, but why do you want it to be greater?)
With strong defence and a strong economy. (Ah, I see the defence comes first?)
An NHS that there’s for everybody (you have a funny way of achieving that, leaving the part of the health service that you control in the hands of Jeremy Hunt. You are aware he's flogging it off to his mates, aren't you? You'll be lucky if it's there at all in a few years), and schools that stretch our children (you're bringing back the rack?).
And over the next five years we will show that the deep problems in our society are not inevitable. (You've spent the last 5 years showing that they are inevitable, indeed building on the ones that Blair and Brown left and creating new ones.)
That a childhood in care doesn’t have to mean a life of struggle. (You mean you're actually going to do something about the perverts, becasue so far that really hasn't been happening?)
That a stint in prison doesn’t mean you’ll get out and do the same thing all over again. (How are you going to do that? So far your policies have failed dismally. 'Prison works' simply created a lot of well informed criminals, with almost no chance of getting a decent real job on release.)
That being black, or Asian, or female, or gay doesn’t mean you’ll be treated differently. (Dream on Dave. Theresa just made a barnstorming speech stirring up racial tensions and your party is chock full of racists and homophobes.)
A Greater Britain – made of greater expectations. (We have loads of expectations, Dave. You just fail to fulfil them for anyone except your sharp elbowed friends.)
Where renters become homeowners, employees become employers, a small island becomes an even bigger economy, and where extremism is defeated once and for all. (Hellish difficult to have a mortgage on temporary contracts, zero hour contracts, minimum wage, when you go into your house purchase with university debts of £50,000. You do know that there are people like that in Britain, don't you? And defeating terrorism is not best done by getting involved in, and making a mess of, yet another middle eastern country.)
A country raising its sights, its people reaching new heights (of debt?).
A Greater Britain – made of greater hope, greater chances, greater security. (We've covered this already, but to reiterate.... Half the population has no hope at all, and you're making that number bigger by the day. Large groups of decent hard-working people think of the state as an enemy, and so it is as it takes away hard won rights and impoverishes. What hope do you see anywhere? Do you ever get outside Chipping Norton? And greater security? Don't make me laugh. Your constant wars whether they are on Middle East countries or the working classes, make this country ever less secure.)
So let’s get out and make it happen. (Whatever, Dave, just whatever.)
Please contribute to our campaign today, and together we can build that Greater Britain. (Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.)
David
