When reviewing this kind of campaign surely one of the first things that the campaign manager would do was ask "What could go wrong?"
Well, having to admit to not being able to find one road in all of Britain that stretched into a glorious and happy future... or portrayed the concept... seems to me to be something that could be described as "going wrong". Someone was sure to ask..."where is the road?"...and answering ... "it's a composite of various roads" would have been bad enough if they had at least all been in Britain.
That the road in question was in Germany was nothing short of hilarious mind blowing incompetence.
We reflected that this was not the first time that a recent political campaign had been found rather naive. We'd all be incredulous when Better Together came up with the "cereal" lady. Did no one stop to wonder how it would play in the 21st century to make a woman look as if she, a mindless adjunct to her husband, was not to worry her pretty little head about politics... but instead to concentrate on the bairns, the cereal, and the nice cup of coffee in the kitchen... 1950s or what?
So this afternoon when we were talking we hadn't seen Labour's first poster of the campaign.
Now we have. We'll we've seen "Scottish" Labour's poster, despite there being no such party. James Kelly parodies it rather nicely here, and for once the Rev Stuart is left speechless (which we suspect doesn't happen that often).
And so for the second time in a few days we are left wondering why did no one ask... "what could go wrong?"
This is a campaign for a general election in London, Westminster, the UK, call it what you will. The Scottish Health Service is funded and overseen from Holyrood by an entirely separate parliament and government which will be come up for election in 16 months' time. (Heaven help us if it's Jim whose the FM then. He'll be assuming it's being taken care of from London!)
So, for the purpose of this election campaign, the one that is going on here and now, surely the SNP will be making no promises whatsoever about funding nurses in NHS Scotland. Being in government in Scotland they know perfectly well where NHS Scotland is run from.
But even if it were a matter for the UK parliament, it appears to be the most ridiculous statement of intent. What they seem to be promising is that whatever the SNP proposes, they will add 1000 to it.
So, if the SNP, having researched it with NHS Scotland's management, promises the optimum number of nurses, regardless that an extra 1000 would just really be in the way, Labour will supply them anyway.
I wonder if they intend to spend the entire campaign promising whatever the SNP says, plus 1000.
Schools: (also not under consideration in the UK election)... whatever the SNP say + 1000. Trains (also Holyrood): whatever the SNP promises, + 1000. Nuclear warheads (ah, Westminster): Whatever the SNP promises +1000. Oh, that'll be 1000 exactly then.
It brings back memories of days when my brother and I would argue about something, by proposing, each in his turn, an ever bigger number, until of course one of us remember infinity.. and then we did infinity plus 1!
We were aged 8 and 4 at the time though, so we had an excuse.
Sorry guys... must try to do better than under 10s!
Serious suggestions:
1) Find out what Westminster is responsible for (you should be good at that, Jim, being as you are supposed to be working there) and propose policies for which that parliament has responsibility. There are plenty, unfortunately.
2) Try to come up with policies which aren't the same as, but bigger than, those of the SNP. It might make people think that you had given it some intellectual consideration, and that's always a reassuring thing for a potential government (flatters them again).
3) Before you put out your next poster, ask yourself... what will the public be laughing at tonight? If the answer is "us"... ditch it and start again.
