TIME FOR A JOKE

A must buy tomorrow

So Munguin mentioned that we hadn't done a joke post for a while, and that it might be an idea to do one again.

So here is it.

I imagine that the first thing Liz said was: "Welcome my dear, I'm not elected either so we should get on splendidly." It was either that or: "And what have you come as?"

Seriously, I don't mean to be sexist, but if a male prime minister had gone to see the queen wearing something with big yellow patches on like bicycle paniers, I have the feeling he'd have been thrown out before he got anywhere near the old dear, for fear of frightening her to death. The other thing I noticed about he was that you could see half way down her cleavage. Also not likely, in a man, to get past the palace guards.

Really, a word to the wise, Tess, don't. Just don't. A man wouldn't get away with it, why would you? It's not clever and it's not nice. It's REALLY not nice.

Erm, you're not serious George, are you?
You must've known Munguin was looking for jokes, yeah?

So, the first bit of good news is that Gidiot's out. Hardly surprisingly. He's made a complete mess of the economy, imposing all manenr of hardships on the poor to try to pay for the mess that Gordon Brown, Tony Blair and the bankers made of the economy. And he has succeeded in paying down the debt in as much as "paying down" and "doubling" mean the same thing. Even the madman Brown didn't lose the AAA rating. Still he'll have more time to spend with his coke.

Yep, that's the Foreign Secretary. No honest, it is!

The next bit of good news is Boris. Now I'd kinda hoped for Boris as prime minister becasue although he'd be pretty crap at it, at least we'd all get a laugh.

The likelihood of getting a laugh at Maggie May, is, I'd have to say, rather slight. So I'm thrilled that Boris is replacing the most boring man in the world, Hammond, as Foreign Secretary. In this role, he will be able to trot around the world making an ass of himself to our mirth, pretty much 24/7.

It may frighten the living daylights out of his hosts, but let's be honest, better to be frightened to death than bored to death,  Hammond's party piece.

You mean the Brit Foreign Secretary is coming?

Hammond, unlike Gidiot, isn't dole bound. He's going to be the Chancellor. So order some strong coffee for the Treasury. (You don't want a pic of him. He's about as handsome as he is entertaining.)

We're the International Trade Department.
Do you want to buy some guns?

Messers Fox and Werritty  are appointed to the International Trade Department (new one, presumably formed to encourage trade with the USA, Saudi and Israel, the only three countries Fox knows).

Amber Rudd, who recently said that she wouldn't trust Boris Johnson to drive her home (who would?), a venture capitalist and banker, is the new Secretary of State for Spying on People and Covering Up Establishment Crime. So now she has her own state limo she wont need a lift from Bojo.

David Davies is Secretary for Exiting Europe, another new department not previously required for obvious reasons.

And the Ministry of War is still to be manned by Fallon, presumably becasue he's good with leaky old nuclear submarines.

So that's Tessy done for tonight.

One way of stealing the curtains as you leave.

I do hope she doesn't inherit Mrs Cameron's personal dresser (did you notice she'd still dressed her this morning in the lounge curtains). She should really get one who doesn't need  a white stick to get over the road.

Aye, well, uh?!?

There was just a rumour tonight that Fluffy Muddle may not be reappointed as Viceroy. Wouldn't that be interesting!