PROJECT FEAR AND THE TORY LEADERSHIP BATTLE

As we've said before, Munguin's Republic hasn't really got an opinion on the current referendum. 

On balance, if pushed, we think that there would be comedic value in Boris as leader of the Conservative Party. There's a certain je ne sais quoi about the prime minister falling in a river, or being suspended from a high wire waving a rather too colourful flag.

And we reckon too, that there is a possibility a Boris government would hasten the end of the United kingdom, even more quickly than a David Cameron one would. Possibly starting in Northern Ireland and leaving the rest of us to follow.

But, as we say, without detailed economic evidence, or some arguments that have a measure of certainty (or even credibility), we honestly don't know who would make the better prime minister.

It's in a far off land of which we know precious little.

Most of the time, after the second week of the campaign when we were disgusted at the poverty of arguments, we've done our best to avoid reading about or listening to the claptrap from both candidates. 

The general impression has been that the two sides are competing for the position of Project Fear. At least in the Scottish referendum one side was putting forward a positive message.

However, today's pensions story caught our attention on Twitter.

According to Dodgy Dave, if the UK leaves the EU then pensions will be at risk. Yes, the Eton boy has succumbed to the kind of threats that Labour descended to when door knocking around Scotland back in 2014. If you vote to leave the UK, your pension in Scotland will disappear. Clearly it was nonsense, and even the repugnant DWP under IDS admitted it was fabrication, but it scared some older people into changing their minds. Scared them silly!

OK, he hasn't gone so far as to say that the pension will disappear, but he reckons that, if the UK leaves the EU, the triple lock  will be endangered because the country just won't have the money to pay the second  lowest pensions in the developed world. 

If it were true what would THAT say about our united kingdom, Dave? 

Something pretty shabby, we'd say

But, of course it is not true.

The EU has absolutely no say whatsoever in the pensions of UK citizens. We accept that if it did they would undoubtedly be higher. 

But then neighbouring countries outside the EU have HIGHER pensions. 

(Nor does it the EU dictate what benefits there should be for the sick, the disabled or the unemployed. Nor does it set taxation levels. The UK makes its mind up what pensioners are worth. Or rather how little it can get away with paying them.

But Dodgy Dave the Pig Man reckons that the economy will be so badly hit that cuts will have to be made.  This may or may not be true. I've not met anyone who knows one way or the other (although it is fair to say that in the period of change, as there will be when Scotland becomes independent, there will be a measure of uncertainly in financial markets).

Even accepting the possibility that there wouldn't be so much money around, at least for a while, it seems that Dave would choose to cut pensions for the elderly rather than say, cut the amount spent on nuclear weapons, rebuilding Westminster, embassies, royals, the house of lords, baubles for those and such as those, fighting wars all over the middle east, etc, etc. 

It wouldn't occur to him that clamping down on tax avoidance and evasion (well, of course it wouldn't) would be a better way to reduce spending in a potentially smaller economy?

We wonder if it turns out that without all the industrial and commercial regulations that the EU imposes, Britain does, as Bozo the Clown suggest, prosper outside the union, will pensions go up?

Aye right! I'll get my coat.

WELCOME TO MISERY FOR BRITISH OAPs

There's an on-line petition... here.

It won't of course do any good, but I guess it does't hurt to let them know that we are aware that most other countries treat their pensioners with a bit more respect than the UK does.

PENSIONS ARE ONLY SAFE IN "OUR" UNITED KINGDOM... OH YEAH?

But don't worry, trusty Munguin readers, as my Twitter friend @dtaylor5633 points out, Cameron and Blair McDougal's broad shoulders will have this covered.  

They told us that our pensions, state or private, would be safe in their United Kingdom. Indeed, there were people who knocked on old people's doors and told them their state pension would stop on Independence Day.

So much so that even the unionist Department of Work and Pensions were forced to issue a statement reassuring people that it was not so.

Likewise with private pensions, we were told that they wouldn't be able to cope with the financial uncertainty of an independent Scotland. That our investments would only be safe if we stayed together and pooled and shared, the UKOK way, in our good old, stable, United Kingdom.

So, the question is, were they lying about this, as they were about so much else, or are the likes of Cameron and McDonut on it?

BRITISH PENSIONS THE WORST IN EUROPE: AND MOST WON'T QUALIFY FOR ALL THE RISE COMING UP IN 2016

The British state pension at a maximum £110.15 a week is the most miserable in Europe. Compared to average income, even Hungary and Slovenia better the pension benefits British pensioners receive, according to a new OECD report.

British workers on average earnings typically get a state pension worth 32.6% of their working wage. Italian workers, in contrast, can expect 70% of their working salary from the Italian government when they retire. In the developed world, only Mexicans receive less proportionately from the State pension than British workers.

The average European State pension is worth 40.6% of average earnings. If you want to retire comfortably on State coffers compared to those in work, one of the best countries is Austria, at 76.6% - or the Netherlands, even better, at 90.7%. Many Europeans also retire earlier than their British counterparts.

What is a more realistic level of state pension income? The British state pension should be set at £178 a week if it is to be a proper "living State pension", the National Pensioners' Convention claim. Even in the independent states of Guernsey and Jersey, the pensions are far more generous.

There are plans to introduce a flat rate UK pension of around £144 come 2016, worth just under £7,500 a year, just over half the poverty line of around £14,000, though you will need to have worked up 35 years worth of National Insurance contributions to qualify rather than the current 30 (a move the Government has been quiet on, eh Steve Webb!!!).

If you want to have the longest retirement, head for France. The average French male pensioner will live 22.6 years (27.4 for women) on average after leaving work. The average British male kicks the bucket almost five years earlier.

Ah, La Belle Vie? 

Non Merci. Mieux Ensemble. (Mon cul.)

*********

How much did they say the set up costs of Scotland was going to be?

We can't even afford the "t" in Scotland

PREPARE TO MEET THINE END

The UK government announced a  little while ago that people will no longer be obliged to buy an annuity with the money they get from their pension funds.

This presumably means that they can blow the lot on a Porsche, a round-the-world cruise, or a regular good time with Fifi le Malmal (2nd floor left, knock twice).

The downside of that, of course is that when it's done, it's done... and you wouldn't want to have to exist on a British state pension, given that it is the lowest in the developed world after Mexico.

So the pensions minister, in a desperate bid to keep down with the rest of the Work and Pension low life in the Tory government, has decided to tell you when you can expect to die.

Yes, when you retire you will get your pension book, your bus pass and details of when you can expect to quit this life, Steve Webb, who used to be a Liberal, bless him, has announced.

So, although you will get a more accurate forecast on your retirement date, when Mystic Steve pops round to see you with his crystal balls, Munguin has thoughtfully provided you will a rough idea of when you can expect to pop your clogs, so that you can plan not to be a burden on Gidiot Osborne. 

As you can see people in Scotland don't do too terribly well out of this, but the good news is that they can spend all their money faster than those poor people in the South of England who are going to have to make the niggardly amount last longer.

Our worry is that people in Northern Ireland must be expected to die on their 65th birthday... In which case Munguin's advice to them is spend it all on your credit card and take out massive loans the year before you are due to retire, and leave someone else to sort it out.

I was wondering, If Mystic Steve gets it wrong, and you last another few weeks... will you be able to claim social security?

Joking aside... Have you ever heard of anything so crass?

SNAPS ON SUNDAY

...VERY NEARLY

Gordon Foot-in-Mouth Brown

Want to explain either of these illustrations, Nigel?

There's a change afoot.

Well, I think I should start paying for the Sunday Herald
and stop paying for the BBC

So, who's for good and who's just plain evil?

Starting at the top and working all the way down

WITH HIS USUAL FLAIR FOR INEPTUTUDE, GORDON CHOOSES THE PERFECT TIME TO LECTURE SCOTS ON PENSIONS

Thanks to Cynical Highlander for pointing out the two different headlines in the Daily Express and their Scottish edition.

Thank you Express.
We couldn't possibly have done a better job.
Have you ever heard of the interweb?

So it was pretty much a waste of time Gordon taking time out from his global travel plans to tell us just how miserable our old age would be without the UK's broad shoulders and clout.

There is a superb article over at Wings highlighting the pensions chaos of the UK, together with a few suggestions as to the reasons that pensions are in a mess... mainly Gordon Brown, in case you wondered.

Given the chaos he wrought on pensions when he was in government, you have to wonder why he chose to intervene in the independence debate on this particular subject. 

Did it not occur to him that whilst the friendly press would faithfully report his "wisdom", those on the Yes side would highlight his raid tax on pensions of the early years of his chancellorship and his financial mismanagement on Olympian scale of the British economy. 

His premiership was marked by, and will be remembered for being, a succession of blunders and ineptitudes.

Did it not occur to him or his advisers, or indeed anyone at the Better Together that this was just what Yes was looking for. Or is it possibly he ran it past them and Alistair Darling thought to himself... "YES!!!!"... if you'll pardon the word.

If this is the start of Brown taking a bigger role in the independence debate, I say, "bring it on".

Things can only get ... erm better  bitter.

SNAPS FOR STEVEN'S FEAST

FRACKING MAP
So is this why we heard that the house of aristocrats and clergy removed the Scottish government's rights in respect of green energy?
Might get in the way of them making money

We are always hearing how many foreigners come here.
There are a lot of Brits who go there.

Still, it is one way of getting rid of the poor.
Only a one-off funeral grant to pay

Like Eton Boy would do it himself...

That's before we start saving on being big nobs in the world

Ah yes, these are all the things they prophesied in 1978
Let's see... No, no, no, no, Ha ha ha,
unfortunately no, we never had one (indeed is there one),
no, no, ooops, she did anyway,no, no.
Nothing out of twelve. Try again.
Oh wait, that's what they are doing! However, in fairness, 
as CH points out below, it's probably a spoof, 
given that the logo of the Lancaster Rose didn't appear till years after 
this poster would have appeared.

And  merry Christmas to you too Dave and Nick, you bastards.

Farce maybe?

What a happy Christmas that will be.

Are you old enough to remember when there was work for
thousands of men in these plants?

But clearly while the UK keeps its WMDs there,
you lot can just starve

Oh to be Icelandic, or at least to have their
autonomy to deal with thieves their way

It was Dave's idea; what did you expect?

Democracy? And how many of the Lords are millionaires?
And how many of the royals?

It's NOT all about the SNP or Alex Salmond

Two particularly repugnant specimens of  Tory

Some people have very strange friends

See, even St Vince says so

What a brilliant idea. We should have more like that.

Respect man. You get on down with the poor people, Dave.
Give him a hug, I dare you!

If you could call any of them "real"

So, when ukok tells you that Scotland, unlike Norway,
couldn't afford to pay the pensions, they are talking garbage.
The British government took the money for our pensions.
Just because they spent it on sucking up to George Bush
 and Ronnie Reagan doesn't make any difference.
They owe it to us.

Labour has said that Barnett  needs replaced with a "needs" formula, based no doubt in the Westminster Government's interpretation of need. So that will be like they didn't think we needed electric trains, or motorways, or television till years after England. Cameron says he has no plans to revise Barnett, but then, he had no plans to put up VAT just days before he put it up by 2.5%, and in any case, is there anything he hasn't lied about so far? As Marcia rightly points out, as  Scotland already pays more than £824 per person more than the rest of the Uk population the total subsidy would be £1,574 if their was a £4bn cut.