IN OUT, IN OUT, SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT...

This blog has taken a neutral view of the EU referendum from the date it was announced. 

There is a good deal that we like about the EU, and a good deal that we don't. 

In our opinion the main protagonists in the argument so far (as portrayed by the press) have been largely from the Tory Party which is successfully tearing itself apart. That, of course, is something we have no trouble with. Although we think it was madness to stir up this bother just as the Labour Party were descending into internecine warfare over Corbyn actually being a socialist. 

A better Tory leader could have managed the internal unrest over Europe, given that it has been bubbling under for years. But then, where would one of them come from?

We can't for the life of us imagine why anyone in their right minds would trust the word of people like Farage, Johnson, Gove, Duncan Smith or Grayling on the one hand, or the word of Cameron, Gideon, May on the other. They all appear to us to be quintessential incompetents. At best they are figures of fun.

We are lucky not to have done ourselves serious damage while falling about laughing at the similarity of the arguments of "Remain" in this EU referendum to those of "NO", "UKOK", or "Better Together" in our referendum. But then the arguments of the "Leave" side have been equally outlandish. It's been like there were two Project Fears at each other's throats.

Downright lying on both side, usually by people who KNEW they were lying (or were incredibly stupid) has been a mark of the campaigns. They are treating the public like it is comprised of terminally stupid gullible idiots, ready to believe the very worst/the very best according to their newspaper of choice.

We continue to take no side, and will do until the wretched  thing is over and done with. The only way to remain sane is to laugh like a drain.

European elections have always been low turnout affairs. We suspect the turnout for this referendum will be lower than that of 1975, in itself considered low at the time (42.2%), partly becasue of its proximity to other elections (parliamentary in Wales, NI and Scotland, and local in England), and partly because of the mess that the leaders in the Uk have made of the campaigns.

For a much more serious look at these matters we recommend the excellent Doug Daniel article here. It's really first rate.

We also recommend the continuing story of Britain in the EU by Dr Craig Dalzell of the Green party. Second part now up. 

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LabRat ‏@ChildOfAlba  20m20 minutes ago

Next step in EURef. Jane Hill stands outside WM & does series of live updates backed by Brexit posters while ignoring Remain rally.

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Tom Delargy ‏@derekrootboy  21m21 minutes ago

Unanimous Treasury Committee report says both REMAIN and LEAVE Campaigns are lying. It's true. Why should voters vote? #MassBoycott? #EUref

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The "we" we are using in this post is not royal in origins. Munguin has still not been assimilated into the royal family (although we might recommend him to princess Beatrice). 

We just thought that it was a collective thing, as opposed to Tris's opinion, and that it would be better expressed in the plural.

We hope you don't think we were being pretentious.

Pretentious? Nous?

Better Together UKOKs up its finances

In a statement the Electoral Commission said that Better Together failed to supply invoices for £57,000, or 5% of its expenditure.

That's pretty damning for an organisation headed up by the former Chancellor of the Exchequer! 

Or....on the other hand, maybe not. 

I seem  to remember that Alistair was a little muddled over money when he held that post, managing to claim expenses for a flat he let out...

And wasn't it he who managed to claim for four different houses in four years?

Indeed did the Telegraph not suggest that he had been accused of having his fingers in the till?

Oh, and didn't he hire an accountant at our expense to make sure he didn't overpay his taxes? The Chancellor of the Exchequer needed an accountant to make sure he didn't overpay his taxes. Pretty unbelievable?

In fact, did Nick Clegg not call for him to resign over his expenses? (You remember Nick Clegg don't you?)

And still they left Alistair in charge of the organisation and expected it to work out right?

I suppose it shouldn't be a huge surprise either that, when Women for Independence, an organisation on the YES side, lost some money (the £30,000 totally rubbished by Wings), it made the front page lead of the Record, but the loss of £57,000, as noted by the Electoral Commission, doesn't get a whisper... 

It reminds me of the £10,000 that is went missing from an Edinburgh Labour constituency, which got a little coverage on inside pages, even though the constituency in question is that of the leader...

The Scottish Press peeps... what can we say?

SNAPS ON SUNDAY (ON MONDAY)

OK, it's a day late, so shoot me. Munguin had me on spring cleaning Munguin Towers yesterday... and he's a fussy little furry animal. He had to be able to see his furry face in everything!!

Ah yes, a little embarrassing for a "socialist"!

And now we know why... He was told to by his boss.

Goodness, no wonder you can't wait to offload it to yourselves.

Fortunately there's a way to stop this happening here

But come on. We've always known that in their world
ordinary people's rules don't apply.

Education is the same as Health
They will sell it all off, and we will be left with
no funding for social education

He's as mad as a box of frogs.
Edit: Due to complaints from boxes of frogs
the world over, I withdraw that comparison.
Instead I'd say he's as mad as the Prince of Wales, 
and who cares what he thinks. OK Frogs?

Like you actually thought they would...?

Oh for a socialist... Alan Grogan, where are you?

You'll look cute David, with a handbag, I mean Ed.

And why would they want their constituents to be anything but poor?

No wonder they make such half witted laws.
They must be ratted most of the time.

So why do U Kok people continue to tell us
that pensions would not be paid?
I mean, come on...

Another one of Alistair's (where on earth is he?) little pronouncements.
A bit like "sharing a currency would be the best idea"
Well, until George Osborne told him to say it wouldn't be.

Better together with more foodbanks.
You know, an independent Scotland would't have foodbanks.
Too wee, too poor and far to stupid for that.

Can't deny that.
Freedom from Britain is fine as long as it's not for Scotland.

They are either millionaires or aspiring millionaires.

Seriously... life doesn't have to be the way it is in the Uk.

Maybe if people earned the same as they do in Denmark... 

But they don't...

Our popular broadcaster is having problems with its staff and its customers
The consensus is that the problem is the crap management.
Eh, McQuarrie, you useless  highly paid lump? 

Nice crowd, bigger than your audience for the new
dumbed down politics for muppets show,
you patronising bastards

Ah... that's what's happened!

Well, not a HUGE fan of windmills
But if someone said to me you can have windmills behind
your house, or you can have a coal fired station
no prizes for guessing which I'd choose.
You?

Ah but that's Holland.
A small independent European country.

Of course you would, dear.

Well, thats a problem to ponder.

Talking of God, here we have two of his regular communicants.
He told George to kill hundreds of
 thousands of Brown People, and George,
mistaking himself for god, told Tony.
And because they are close friends of god,
they are going to get away with it.

Of course it is. No one with a brain cell ever thought otherwise.
Eh Danny Alexander, you thick ass.

Even you couldn't make them up, Frankie.

Thanks minister, we hope that too.

Who won?
The Apathy Party.

Now, there's a think to ponder upon.

Classy, right?

That's the way to do it Ukok.
Sensible arguments.

I wonder why the Pope chose that precise place to
stand with the press of the world photographing him?

BETTER TOGETHER, OR NOT?

So, what were they all about, these annoying ads that got pulled because of complaints from people who went to the cinema to see a film and not a political campaign?

By now you would think that Ukok and Nob Orders would have worked out that the Yes Campaign has plenty of people who will analyse every word they say and pull it to pieces. 

So, if you believe we are Better Together, you'd better have a more intelligent reason than...well, we just are.

Starring....

Rory "Alex Salmond speaks a lot of sense" Elrick with the FM

NOB ORDERS ADVERTISING BY THE GOONS

The series of photograph ads placed in the Scottish press by the London "grassroots" Tory millionaires' organisation, Nob Orders, where their subjects are described as "unpolished" is one of the most patronising pieces of political advertising I've ever seen. (You can see the posters here on Wings).

I remember thinking that U Kok couldn't get much more sickening than the ridiculous video they presented at the beginning of the campaign... You remember, the one where people said they were Scottish because they went to Burns' Suppers or liked the Proclaimers, knew Scottish poetry, or explained that in Scotland a sausage roll was quite different from a sausage roll anywhere else and how they liked wee dugs. 

Well, I was wrong. This is worse. 

The people who were used (and I chose that word on purpose) in the ads may very well believe what they have said (although if the history teacher is for real I'm glad she is nowhere any kids of mine), but the unpolished quotes make them sound somewhere between slightly silly and plain thick.  I mean no criticism of them. I'm sure they are all perfectly nice people and actually I felt sorry for them. If I'd been asked to take part in a poster campaign for Yes (fat chance) and I ended up being patronised like that, I'd have been furious.

..."Tris wants independence because, although he likes the Lake District and travels to see English Rose, Petula Clark, in concert when she is in Downtown Bradford, he still likes to see a tartan tea cosy  on his tea pot"... next to a photograph of me taken after a night on the tiles...

It seems that they have tried to be the opposite of slick. Not for them the advertisers' staple fare of young, fit, healthy, pretty people looking like boy band singers or models, saying smart things put into their mouths by advertising executives... 

And, good for them on that score, because you can have too much of David Beckham in his underwear, or Joanna Lumley looking sexy and talking in that ever so proper RP accent (OK, you can't have too much of that!) ...but you can go too far in the opposite direction. 

(A politically incorrect friend of mine looking at the series of posters asked... Are there no good looking people in Scotland then? OK that's harsh, but it was said without malice and was just the immediate thought the posters inspired! My response to that is that indeed there are, but they are all on the yes side!!)

The real parody (above), isn't that much worse than the first poster I saw. Frankly it seems to me that this is an English view of what thrawn Scots should look and sound like. 

I seriously don't think anyone is going to want to identify with them. I'm just embarrassed for them.

IT'S ALL IN A NAME...

Much has been written about Vote No Borders by better writers than I, but Munguin noticed (strange little animal) that once again the No campaign has managed to pick a name that lends itself to a titter.

OK, some would say that it is a tad childish to laugh at the names, because they are either rather silly or can be made to sound smutty. And I agree.

But you have to wonder at the people who invent these names, that they haven't seen the potential for ridicule in them. What happens at the committee stage when they are deciding on the launch? Does anyone look critically at the name as see if it can be used to ridicule the campaign? Are they naive maiden aunt types from the 1950s, or well ...what?

I recall that at one point they set up "Blether Together" (whatever happened to that?). It's objective was to get teams of people to chat on the phone about why we were better together, although frankly I'd have thought that repeating the word "clout" over and over would become tedious after a while.

But did no one think that, at least in certain parts of Scotland, the word "blether" translates into English as something somewhere between 'silly talk' and downright 'rubbish talk'. It never indicates a serious discussion. You never hear of people having a "blether" about quantum physics!

My grandmother used to say that she had met Mrs McDonald  for a "wee blether" when out "daein the messages". She was saying that she had stopped for an inconsequential chat about nothing very much...."pas grand-chose de n'importe quoi" as the French would say. 

Or, when we were kids giving her some excuse about how we had torn something or got filthy or wet... (without telling her we'd been scrumping for apples or wading through the burn), she used to say "Ach awa ye bletherin' wee skite". In short she knew we were making it up... and we were "belthering".

it's an unfortunate choice of words for a serious political campaign about something that will change your lives.

Then they decided that the UK was OK. 

Now that was unfortunate, even at the most innocent of level, because most of us would probably like to live somewhere that was better than just OK.

But the minute that they printed the name out all we could see was "U KOK".

Unfortunate, no?

Now we have No Borders. This so-called grassroots campaign of ordinary, everyday Scottish people, erm based in London and run by a millionaire Tory backer. Still, I suppose he's an ordinary everyday Tory grassroots English millionaire. The website of the second partner actually boasts to have worked on "country branding" for England!

So again, unfortunate on its own. 

I mean if you are going to pretend to be grassroots, would it not be better (and cheaper) to register your address in Scotland and to employ someone whose name isn't immediately associated with the rich and powerful in London?

But to add insult to injury, the name so easily contacts to NoB... that it is an invitation to treat. Tory nobs (short for "nobles" I imagine), are as popular in Scotland as frostbite!

OK...I can hear Niko telling Munguin that he is being childish, sniggering at this... but aren't there a lot of other people who are using it to poke fun?

And isn't that something that people who start organisations like this should have thought about and taken steps to avoid?
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