Monday, 16 January 2012

This will choke you up... it really will.

We're in a recession (almost undoubtedly); everything costs more than we reckon we should spend; it's getting worse; unemployment is rising by the day and may reach 3 million; almost no one feels secure (except the chairman of Barclays who is heading for a £10 million bonus); the roads are dangerously full of potholes (drivers spend more time trying to dodge the worst ones instead of looking where they are going); Willie Hague has warned us he hasn't ruled out war in Iran (why not, it's Muslim, doesn't like us, and has a lot of oil); our sick are just about to be thrown on to a massive dole queue and ordered to find work that doesn't exist....
...But not to worry. Mr Gove, the House Elf who also doubles as England's Education Secretary (despite being Scottish), has the answer to all our woes. This will cheer us up no end, he reckons. Why not spend £60 million on a new yacht for the Queen?

Why not indeed, Mr Gove? It would cheer us all up immensely, especially those of us called Windsor and lord knows they have had it worse than most of us. They deserve a break..
What is this man doing in government? Does he have any idea what it's like down here on Earth?

What a silly little dip stick.


  1. Could he be looking for a seat in the House of Lords?

  2. They are determined to cause unrest in the UK so they can start to bring in draconian laws to keep us in our place. It will be private money to build it allegedly.

    Vote Britain

  3. Indeed he might be, Ged. This department running is not really his thing. He's crap at it

  4. Brilliant CH. I love that.

    To build the yacht... They're not seriously thinking of having one, are they?

    And after she's gone, we'd have to give it to Charlie and Diana... then Willie and Kate Middleton....

  5. Is the ghost of Diana still haunting Charlie then
    Is there still three in that marriage?

  6. Oh yes, fairfor, he traded that model in didn't he...? I forget the new one's name. Al Fy-ad called her a crocodile, if I remember right.

    That will do for me.

    She was a bit of a vulture. But a persistent one. Took her a long time to get her feet under our table, but she stuck at it.

  7. Tris, I've just finished a post for morning about this. It's actually nothing to do with Gove - he just gave a quote today.

    The Mail started a campaign for a new one last year and because we didn't take notice, they've tried again now.

  8. Quite ridiculous. The court jester strikes again!

  9. It seems it's a leaked letter from Chris Huhne to the Gruinad that started the whole thing off. The plan was to make it all private finance ( so that's all right then lol)
    The most recent report I saw on the Queens wealth put it at about £5trillion. That's not wealth that belongs to the nation ( palaces etc) but private wealth that she can use as she likes ( millions of acres of land including lots of prime estate in London and around the world esp N. America etc)
    So if she wanted a yacht she could buy a Costa Concordia on steroids if she wanted. But she won't because the illusion of her struggling on the civic list money must be maintained to keep the proles happy and not too restless.

  10. Betsan has mentioned Scotland on her blog:

  11. Capt Francesco SchettinoJanuary 17, 2012 11:44 am

    May I humbly offer my services to Her Majesty ?

  12. Thanks SR, I've read and commented.

    Doesn't it show how out of touch these people are with the feelings of the country... or at least Scotland?

    I don't know anyone who thinks its a good idea, even amongst my neighbours who are given to the sentimental pap that this kind of story usually encourages.

  13. Ahhhh, that's what he is Munguin. And I thought he was a house elf. I was going to book him for my spring cleaning.

  14. One of the problems that this commission will face Ged, is that many things discussed in an English parliament which has the power to spend as much as it wants in theory anyway, is that their decisions affect consequentials elsewhere.

    If the transport minister in England decides that it is necessary to spend £3 billion on a new stretch of motorway, there is an ongoing consequence for Wales, NI and Scotland.

    It's a silly situation.

    England should have been given its own parliament, but I accept that, because all the states of the union are not equal (Wales had no law, Ireland shares some of its law with the Republic, Scotland is a full country with its own laws, etc) that was difficult.

    It's just one great huge mess. The UK made a hash of nation splitting all over Africa, and it's done exactly the same thing here.

    I blame Blair. He wanted the parliaments to realise that they were subsidiary to England and the UK. The proper parliament was in London; the rest were parish councils.

    There's another reason to take him out and shoot him in my humble opinion.

  15. As soon as you get out of prison you may do that, my good Capitan.

  16. "If the transport minister in England decides that it is necessary to spend £3 billion on a new stretch of motorway, there is an ongoing consequence for Wales, NI and Scotland."

    Does Scotland not have it's own budget tris ? I thought under the Barnet formula we got a proportion of UK money to do with as we wish ?
    So in theory we could make a motorway from Gretna to Thurso and stop free uni tuition etc to pay for it.
    England charge for uni fees and use the money for roads or whatever they like I suppose.

  17. Yes Monty, but if England decides to spend more that its allotted budget, for some reason (crossrail is an example) Scotland gets a share of that money (as do NI and Wales).

    We might build a school or hospital with it if we wish, but if they add to their overall budget, we are supposed to be able to add to ours.

    The unfair thing is that if WE decide to have a new railway or motorway or school or whatever, our ministers can't simply add to the overall budget as English ministers can.

    Thus we, or our ministers are less powerful than English ministers looking after the same department.

  18. Tris,

    Things like Crossrail are classified, like the Olympics, as a UK national need so we don't get a 'windfall' in the Barnett formula. The UK government have been doing this for years; subsiding London and the south east and then sticking their fingers up at the rest of the UK.

  19. Ok Ged, I thought I might be wrong on that one, but there are other examples.

    I'm glad we are going to get a lot of benefit in Dundee from the Crossrail system in London.

    All I need to pay is a few hundred pounds to get to London, and then the fare for Xrail, and of course enough for an hotel. A thousands pounds should do, and I can benefit from it to my hearts content for a weekend.

    Still, it will be another of these things that we have paid for and won't have after independence, so I guess it comes off the debt share.

    OK... there is a prionciple that says if they decide on some exta spending that won't benefit us as much as Xrail and the Olympics obviously do... like, for example building a pile of new schools or prisons, then we would get some extra money.

    They may be yet more bad examples, but there are things for which we get Barnett consequentials, and these are things that the English ministers can do at their will (given clearance from Gideon), but that ministers in Scotland cannot do, because once we have spent our pocket money, we're done.

    I guess it's like England are the adults, if they want something they can't afford they can borrow; and we are children, once our pocket money has gone, we have to wait till next time.

  20. tris
    Independence sounds far easier. Do what you want with your own money.
    I suspect it might start another set of problems though. Dividing up the oil and gas revenue and fishing grounds etc.
    It sounds like we'll be in the EU post independence so it will be up to Brussels to sort out these problems for us and do the budget projections etc. John Swinney will be like Michael Moore. A suit to put on telly programmes.

  21. I think the EU leaves its members a lot freer than the UK Monty.

  22. With devolution/ independence at least we can elect our own government tris. If we join the EU post independence then a government will be given to us if we don't do what we're told ( Greece, Italy ... Hungary...).
    Plus of course our justice, shipping, fishing, drilling, mining, medical and pharmacy, borders, trade, health and safety, roads, green scams, immigration, airspace, foreign relations, budgets, taxation, search and rescue, copyright, cctv, internet surveillance etc will have to be in accordance with EU directives. Controlled by an unelected elite on £300k.
    All rubber stamped with majority voting by MEPs' that no one has heard of ( except that UKIP bloke thingymagig who wants to scrap itlol )voted in by about 10% of their electorate.
    Sounds great ;) If you're a left wing socialist.

  23. Found on another blog Yes mee lord this cant still be going on?

  24. Well Monty, it's not certain we would join. After independence who knows who will be in charge; and I'd hope for a for referenda on things like monarchy, EU, NATO, etc.

    And that wouldn't be hard to do Americans manage general Elections and in some state pages of questions and they manage OK.

    So let's get free first then worry about where we are in the world, because, after all Mr Cameron is never going to allow us a vote on in or out of the union., so we are in no matter what; also he has said that no matter what we will never join the Euro. Now that seems a good idea at the moment, but NEVER is a very long time away, and given that Cameron seems incapable of seeing what is coming tomorrow, I think he's a bit on the daft side to think that he can predict FOR EVER.

  25. Oh yes it can, CH.

    There is a great long form to fill in if you are proposing someone. You have to show your reasons for wanting the person knighted or lorded or obed in your narrative.

    Just like any form, there are things that you must mention to get the's almost a tick box thing. And just like getting government funding, there are people who know their way around the forms.

    They can sell you their expertise.

    So, like everything else, it's down to how clever you are with the forms, or how much you can pay someone else to be clever with them.

  26. Apologies for the rate responses. I had a new central heating system installed yesterday and the cleaning up process has taken more time than I anticipated!