We're in a recession (almost undoubtedly); everything costs more than we reckon we should spend; it's getting worse; unemployment is rising by the day and may reach 3 million; almost no one feels secure (except the chairman of Barclays who is heading for a £10 million bonus); the roads are dangerously full of potholes (drivers spend more time trying to dodge the worst ones instead of looking where they are going); Willie Hague has warned us he hasn't ruled out war in Iran (why not, it's Muslim, doesn't like us, and has a lot of oil); our sick are just about to be thrown on to a massive dole queue and ordered to find work that doesn't exist....
...But not to worry. Mr Gove, the House Elf who also doubles as England's Education Secretary (despite being Scottish), has the answer to all our woes. This will cheer us up no end, he reckons. Why not spend £60 million on a new yacht for the Queen?
Why not indeed, Mr Gove? It would cheer us all up immensely, especially those of us called Windsor and lord knows they have had it worse than most of us. They deserve a break..
What is this man doing in government? Does he have any idea what it's like down here on Earth?
What a silly little dip stick.