Tuesday 5 April 2011

HOW MANY KINDS OF GAFFES CAN YOU HAVE IN AN ENGLISH TORY CABINET?






The afternoon I was involved in a discussion on the current state of the UK government. This came about because of two major fluffies in one day.


Firstly the prime minister, forced to go to Pakistan after causing a diplomatic incident with his rather unfortunate “looking two ways” comment when he was in India, took with him aid worth £650 million and a promise of security information regarding roadside bombs, which in the wrong hands could prove disastrous to UK troops... and then he told the Pakistani ministers that they must not avoid paying their taxes, otherwise this aid would not sit well with the British people. (Yes he did, he really did!) Ewwwwwwww!


Then of course Boris decided to let it out that he was disgusted that a minister had told him that he didn’t want 'people from Sheffield flying away on foreign cheap foreign holidays’! It seems that the miscreant was none other than millionaire Old Etonian, Oliver Letwin, who clearly has very little time for people who take cheap holidays... (and well, that’s most of us Olly!)


I remarked that this was a bumper day with two gaffes, little knowing that our Nick had ventured forth with a third (if you follow me). Yes, it seems that the DPM wants to stop people with sharp elbows getting their kids into an internship, like...., well, like Nick Clegg’s dad did. And unpaid internships were also now to be banned in the Liberal Party, as it’s only the very privileged that can afford to take jobs that pay nothing... like the people who worked for Nick Clegg in opposition, and didn’t even get expenses!


So much for the launch of an Equalities programme! Opportunities for all (ish)


So anyway, it got us thinking about all the unfortunate pickles (no, not that one) that this amateur UK government has overseen.


Off the top of our collective head (and now my memory):


Planes that broke down before they took off on a rescue mission;


Planes that went to rescue people from Yemen, but were charging twice the price of local air operators and flew home empty; Gaddafi in Venezuela (so says Twitter);


SAS in Libya (oooops);


The complete changes in detention orders that were the same with different names;


English forests debacle (still unclear of what’s happening);


English NHS’s break in legislation for consultation..eh, or something;


English school rebuilding mess: the House Elf couldn't wait to show off how clever he was (n't);


Selling off of English school playing fields, just before the Olympics a condition of which was to encourage sport and the subsequent sudden change of heart when reminded of contract;


Cabinet Office minister i/c Big Society who,in a Sarah Palin moment, couldn’t name one thing he did for free, “Golly Gosh Francis”;


English student fees u-turns from the Libs...and now they don’t have the funds to pay for the loans up front, so fewer students will go to university and the universities will still be starved of cash, bravo lads, smart move;


Chancellor who didn’t know how much he took from a £1.30 litre of petrol (that was last week and ancient history; it’s £1.33 already);


Reduction in pensioners’ winter payments (which they will have to reverse soon, otherwise every single one who dies next winter will be headlines in the Daily Mail);


Sudden finding of funds to pay housing benefits at full rates after 1 year (on the basis that Boris pointed out that 2 million homeless in the English capital while the Olympics were on would be bad publicity);


Cameron’s insistence against advice, on employing Andy Coulson, who then had to resign;


Cameron employing personal photographers and imagine consultant at the taxpayers’ expense;


Jobcentres being set targets to trick people off JSA now that there are no jobs;


IDS saying that we all WANTED to work past retirement age, when we don’t;


Threats of Cabinet resignations over high speed railway in England, going through rich people’s back gardens (their constituencies);


Oil company tax hitting 40,000 jobs in Scotland.... Is that enough?


Well, I’m sure there are more. Let me know what I’ve missed.

24 comments:

  1. Great Post :)

    There are thousands more. Actually at the moment it's a bloggers paradise, I'm so confused I don't know what story to blog about these days, we're so spoilt for choice!

    I like picking on the EU, they're so much more ridiculous than our lot could ever be.

    You see, I think that's half the trouble. Our government either

    a) Haven't got enough power left to make any really big decisions

    or

    b) When they finally decide something, it contravenes EU Statutes and they have to retract.

    It's a laugh a minute.

    Have you read Nile Gardiners latest blog? Go on, you know you want to have a good laugh!

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  2. There has been a recent trend in bloggings here being overtly negative and un-constructive.

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  3. Hello Sue. I know there was other stuff. We even talked about it this afternoon... but I couldn't remember any more.

    I though Brown was an ass, but Camerclegg OUCH....

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  4. Oh come on Dean, even you can see that they are a bunch of rank amateurs. Annabel's forgotten more than this bunch have ever known. What Ken Clarke is doing in their midst I have no idea.

    Time they resigned!

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  5. Dean
    There has been a recent trend in bloggings here being overtly negative and un-constructive.

    Try replying to some of the comments on your own blog before making pointless assertions on others or is that an addendum on your manifesto.

    Sleep well Dean

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  6. The gaffes and U-turns government led by the half-wit in Chief. It is now possible to do pure research into the mistakes and policy shifts of this government and they have only been in power for 11 months!

    Who would have thought we would all be saying “come back Gordon Brown” after only such a short time? Old pop-eye was at least able to get through one week without a major gaffe or U-turn!

    On the £650 million for Pakistan’s schools. Mr 10% (Zardari) is not very keen on spending Pakistan’s money on Schools (only1.5% of GDP) he much prefers nuclear weapons and submarines (he is buying six from China) so it’s very good of Mr Cameron to pay for their schools for them. Especially while our kids in the UK are going without a free education. Mr Zardari will be very keen on this as he can spend much more on the nuclear things that will also be part of the deal (if you remember we were going to give India nuclear things because we don’t actually make anything in the UK and our financial services are understandably not much wanted anymore [well how many countries actually want to go bankrupt?]), also of course his bankers (in Zurich not London) will be keen on getting his slice (10% i.e. £65milion) and once all the other Pakistani fingers in the pie have got their wedge there will probably be enough left to buy a few dozen jotters with union jacks on them! That’s all quite a quid pro quo for that insult that the half-wit made last year, let’s hope he doesn’t go and visit any other neighbours to strategically important (to the US) countries and open his big yap!

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  7. Quite so Munguin.

    It would be best if he stayed at home. Or shut up. Or both!

    I imagine that the furore he caused with Pakistan must have infuriated Mrs Clinton, and doubtless he was told to patch up the difference sharpish or be dropped like a stone by the USA.

    So, of course, he's gone overboard in his desire to keep on Clinton’s good side. He's given Pakistan money that we have had to borrow (why couldn't THEY borrow it?), nuclear technology and it seems now that he, on behalf of the UK, has confessed to every sin since the original one, which is just nonsense because we know that the French were responsible for at least 40% of them.

    Whatever Dean says, although Gordon Brown was a maniacal, half witted, phone throwing, nut job, he was marginally less incompetent that this joker and his team of comic singers.

    (I'm not sure though, Munguin, that Brown ever did get through a WHOLE week without a faux pas.)

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  8. tris


    you should preface your list with

    'WHAT DID CAMERONS GOVERNMENT EVER DO FOR US'

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  9. Dean

    Yeah well why dont you pack it up then.

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  10. 'WHAT DID CAMERONS GOVERNMENT EVER DO FOR US'

    or

    'WHAT DID BROWNS GOVERNMENT EVER DO FOR US'

    Just different coloured rosettes screwing Scotland for decades.

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  11. tris I get a virus warning on Caron's blog, strange.

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  12. CH

    Thats cos you as got aids innit its not strange its about right for Nationalists

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  13. CH

    yeah the problem with you is you are 'overtly negative and un-constructive'

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  14. Mr Mxyzptlk - Funny that every person in every other country in the world is nationalist. All working away in their own countries for the benefit of their own people just like they do for their own family.

    In none of these other countries do you have people/quislings doing down their country or people for the benefit of another countrys funded and run political parties and giving away their countries resources for the benefit of that other country.

    They certainly would not be doing it for nothing like yourself unless you are a Scottish MP quite happy to get paid to do absolutely NOTHING for the Scottish or English people at Westminster.

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  15. Billy the mad

    There are people in every nation(independent ones as well)in the world who sell there countrys out all the time and have ever since some nut drew a line and said this our land.

    They are called elected politicians.

    If i had my way every Nationalist would be put in a padded cell were they belong.


    People Billy cant help but think you mean VOLK

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  16. Niko... I'd given us a good laugh at its incompetence, that's for sure, just like a Gray government would do in Scotland, although of course it would only be an executive!!! :) because Scots aren't grown up enough to have a government!

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  17. CH, you hardly notice the difference. Of course Brown was there because in the Labour Party it's Buggin's turn, where as Cameron is there because of a phone call from the Palace.

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  18. Blackhat Cynical. I got that too, but my virus catcher caught it and put it in Azkaban.

    Caron, if you're reading this something has infected your site!!

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  19. Billy:

    Time we got rid of most of the Scottish MPs. it must be irking for the English ones, paid exactly the same inflated salary and sitting around doing nothing all day... oh no wait, the English ones do that too.

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  20. I think you're getting mixed up about the nationalism that the SNP espouses Niko.

    It's not about lines in sand, it's about running our bit our way... not the English way, with decisions made by English MPs in the English capital (usually Tories! which we did not vote for).

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  21. Thanks tris blackhat seo (type 1703)

    I'd of thought that Niko would of been making the most of his time left!

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  22. I love it, we are, apparently, openly (i.e. overt; without concealment) negative and un-constructive on here. A worrying trend indeed! Whereas, Dean’s blog, I’m assuming, is just like the Tories themselves covertly negative and un-constructive. That’s much better!

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  23. "There has been a recent trend in bloggings here being overtly negative and un-constructive".

    Since when is telling the truth overtly negative and un-constructive?

    The government is being run by a bunch of "Hooray Henrys" who have no idea about real life, let alone how to run a country.

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  24. Yes Sue, I tend to agree with you.

    I try to be even handed. I make no secrets of my dislike of the principles of royalty, aristocracy and the union of the UK, but where there is good, I will highlight it.

    The Tories are effectively an English parry with one representative in this country, but I've tried to be fair to them. It's just quite difficult given the amateur mess they are making of running the country.

    They must be coming over to foreigners as some sort of Bullingdon Club promoted to government. To the English, it is frightening that a bunch of idiots like that are in charge of their domestic policies. They have made so many blunders that no one has any confidence left in anything they do, or say.

    There is barely a day goes by that one of them doesn't put his foot right in it.

    Yesterday it was reported that Cameron lost the plot with a journalist who had reported his "mea culpa" speech to the Pakistanis. He actually called him a F****r. OK, big deal it isn’t, but it did create yet another story of not quite being in control.

    So, I criticise them. I did the same with the excruciatingly useless Labour government of Brown, and with the half wit Labour leader in Scotland. And I’ve criticised the SNP First Minister here on occasions when I thought he was wrong.

    If I’m negative, it is because there’s bloody little to be positive about.

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