Wednesday, 15 December 2010

THE POOR WEE LAMBS' EXPENSES ARE UNFAIR...AWWW

Nippy sweeties at the 1922 Committee end of term get together with headmaster Cameron (appearing without his glove puppet tonight).

As MPs break up for the Christmas holiday a full week earlier than “ordinary people”, Call me Dave was given a hard ride by his backbenchers.

Some of them were a bit worried that No 10 was closer to Nick Clegg than it was to the Tories. (Well, its young love; give it a few months and they will be tearing each other’s hair out.)

Some clever clogs called Philip Davies, who can forget promotion to anything any time in the next 50 years reminded Mr Cameron that he was supposed to be in coalition with the Tories... Ouch.

David Davies (presumably no relation, but clearly as disinterested in promotion as he leads the awkward squad) said he had never seen back bench hostility to the leadership as starchy as it is now. Clearly they are desperately jealous of the leadership’s relationship with the Liberals. “All the Liberal Democrats are being cosseted while they decide whether to abstain or to vote against or vote for, while the Tories are being told, ‘Right, you don't vote for this, your career is over'”, he whined.

Many of them warned against any notion of a permanent coalition between the Tories and the Liberal Democrats as suggested by several senior Tories, most notably Johnny Major. (Personally I’d not waste too much time worrying about that. There might only be half a dozen of them next time round.)

There were many who were deeply concerned about the plans of Ken Clarke to replace short prison sentences with community service. (Can’t you see IDS and the Big Man fighting over which jobs go to the people who have stolen something, and which go to the lazy louts that are unemployed.)

Cameron said the system would have to change and then did what any sensible prime minister would do faced with the baying mob of the 1922 Committee. He blamed foreigners. There are far too many of them in our jails he said. Fair does, there are too many of them in their jails and deporting them instead of putting them in their precious prison cells is one of the few sensible things that he’s come out with. The trouble may be that the English will get all their overseas criminals back!

But the biggest worry was the expenses. Cameron agreed that the new expenses system, which limits MPs to claiming for small apartments rather than the lavish residences that many maintained under the old regime, was “anti-family”. He said that if IPSA didn’t get a grip by April next year, it would be reformed. He was also concerned about the limit on the number of times MPs' children could travel with them to their constituencies at taxpayers' expense.

Well so am I. I don’t think they should be able to at all. Why don’t they ask the bloody granny along too and their sisters and their cousins and their aunts?

Well I expect that put a smile on their miserable faces.

You can see them all rushing home to....., well...whoever it is they rush home to, and saying “Brilliant news darling. Cameron’s so desperate he’s going to start the gravy train up again”. It’s all that matters to them.

Clearly they no idea of the feelings in the country of these "ordinary people" who travel second class, earn on average £24,000 a year, and have to produce a receipt for every penny they spend. And why would they?

They don't see what's coming.

Pics: (1) Some mad old bag lady tries to smooth out the creases on this man’s face: (2) A couple of disreputable people including Philip Davies appear to have bought large bananas, probably on expenses. I can only afford small ones: (3) Cover boy Call me Dave. Unlike Putin he didn’t take his shirt off, so that’s something we can be grateful to him for: (4) A book, it seems, about the history of the 1922 committee much loathed by Tory Prime Ministers, and which Dave tried unsuccessfully to derail.

12 comments:

  1. Aha, the cowardly back-benchers were too frightened to give Thatcher a "hard ride" and who can really blame them?

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  2. They gave one to Cameron though...still, that's the Tories for you!

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  3. I don't know tris, I don't mind seeing Putin with his shirt off. I don't mind a rugged, manly tyrant... :P

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  4. tris

    them thar MPs are gonna get at the public cash and nothing..NOTHING....we say or do is gonna stop them Cameron has already told them get your shovels at the ready the public purse is about to be organised so as to enable our MPs to get the maximum amount...............Shovel away

    and its hardly been more than a few weeks...

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  5. How about Theresa May with her shirt off then Laz...?

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  6. Aye Niko. I was hauled into Munguin's office and carpeted today for doing a post about the thieving wee toads again... (that wee furry beast can be pretty fierce you know) but the thing was that it was less about their expenses, which if we're honest we all knew would reappear once all the silly fuss from the plebs had died down, and more about the fact that Cameron thought it was fine to bribe his stroppy backbenchers who are a little bit teed off with him, by agreeing with them that the nasty IPSA had better shape up and start turning a blind eye to moat cleaning, or else.

    And the worst of it was, it seems that the ‘highly principled’ backbench MPs bought into it...

    So much for principles then.

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  7. £66,000 a year for being in parliament working for his constituents and working for Scotland, meanwhile he is touring America selling his book, presumably with protection round the clock, paid for by us.

    You couldn't make it up... No wonder people laugh at us.

    Quite clearly Brown will not be standing for parliament after the next election, so he doesn't give a stuff.

    He went down well though...considering.

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  8. Philip Davies is MP for Shipley (near Bradford) where he increased his majority from a few hundred to around 10,000 at the last election. He has lived in the real world as a supermarket manager and is one of the straightest MPs I have come across. He is quite open about wanting to leave the EU. Some friends thought he risked deselection for this opinion and suggested he should be a little more restrained in expressing it. "I had rather sit in one Parliament with a good conscience than have a career here with a bad one" was the response. We could do with more like that.

    The other side of the deal is that he and others know they will not be promoted until hell freezes over - but that could be soon, if the weather keeps like this.
    Incidentally, his father, Peter, is the elected mayor of Doncaster on an English Democrat ticket.

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  9. Well yes Mr S. It does sound an admirable attitude.

    I expect then that he won't be in the least impressed with the idiot Cameron's attempt to bribe his back benchers with the promise of a less "ordinary person" approach to expenses.

    He'll be in the minority though. Cameron will be able to buy some more time by promising them a return to the land of milk and honey.

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