HAPPY RETIREMENT DESMOND

One of the truly inspiring men of the last century turns 79 this week and steps down from public life in order to spend some time with his family. Actually he is going to take his wife round the world.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu is surely a great man. His bravery fighting against the apartheid regime in South Africa is legendary; as legendary as his giggle.

I don’t think I will ever forget seeing him vote in 1994 in the first elections in the liberated South Africa: the first time he had ever voted in his life. It was a joy to see the enthusiasm and excitement of this then 62 year old man doing what all of us had been entitled to do since we were 18, and he, intelligent and educated man though he was, had been barred from doing, because of the colour of his skin.

His sense of humour must have sustained him through the hard years of being a second class citizen.

One of the little tales he tells goes like this:

"When the missionaries came they had the Bible and we had the land. And they said 'Close your eyes and let us pray.' And we dutifully did so, but when we said 'Amen' and opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land."

I hope he has a wonderful holiday, and then comes back to spread his infectious enthusiasm for life a little bit more.

DID YOU KNOW YOU PAID FOR HIM TO GO TO THE WORLD CUP FINAL?

We have been told to expect a 25% reduction on all public services, excluding health care. The UK government has dictated that for England, and as a consequential, we will get 25% less money to run what we are allowed to be responsible for.

According to an article in yesterday’s Independent, that reduction will only skim the top off the massive £4,000,000,000,000 debt that has been racked up, not only by New Labour, but by a series of unaffordable decisions made over the years since the Second World War, including public sector pensions, nuclear power stations, PFI, and allowing banks to gamble with ordinary people's savings, so that they have to be rescued by the taxpayer, despite taxpayer being as broke as a completely broken thing.

In the midst of this catalogue of miserly stands the BBC, clearly blissful unaware that anything untoward is happening despite its supposedly being the best news broadcaster in the world. Oh yes, poor thing, it has to publish its top people’s expenses, but that doesn’t seem to have bothered it one tiny little bit. According to the latest figures, various BBC executives are keeping small taxi companies in a champagne and truffles lifestyle, because they’re clearly far too important to take the metro or the bus like ordinary little people.

BBC deputy director general Mark Byford spent almost £5,000 flying to South Africa for a World Cup Final visit at the weekend. He used the visit to hold meetings with bodies such as Fifa, which invited him, as well as visiting news bureaux in the region, the BBC said. Well now, there’s a surprise. He went all the way to South Africa at our expense, the very weekend that the final of the world Cup was due to take place. Coincidence probably.

What irritates me is that this bloke couldn’t fit his lardy arse into a normal seat in Tourist class, nor even a roomier seat in Business.... oh no, the big cheese had to take himself, at our expense mind you, First bloody Class, and be treated like a movie star. Furthermore while he was there he was obliged to take another First Class return flight to Kenya, again at our expense. Not sure why.. but Kenya is very nice.

The BBC's chief operating officer Caroline Thomson claimed £3,389.69 on taxis during a three-month period for the first quarter of this year. BBC controller of vision Jana Bennett claimed £2,736.02 on taxis during the claim period. And the BBC's director of future media and technology Erik Huggers made taxi claims for £2,940.98.

Where did they go? The moon?

OK, so it’s time the BBC got a drift of how things are in this sadly mismanaged country. They might try listening to their own news programmes occasionally for example (although, of course, they will only find out what is happening in the south east of England if they do.

I await the announcement that as of today the licence fee (or poll tax) of £145.50 will be reduced by £36.38, or 25%, and that the likes of Byford and that self important idiot Yentob and all the many and various other highly paid, brilliantly pensioned and ridiculously titled executives move their privileged backsides into the world. You know, the one that is round ....