BOOZE UP...BREWERY!

Well by Olympics' standards the women's football matches in Glasgow aren't of much importance, indeed they are happening before the opening ceremony, when the "mythical flame" hasn't even been lit and the Queen hasn't given it her blessings, away in a cold dark land in the far north. They haven't even necessitated Zil lanes, presumably because no one of any importance was there.

Interest in buying tickets was so abysmal that the organisers gave away tens of thousands to schoolchildren for free...and even then, tonight when I saw it on tv, the stadium was almost empty.

Coca Cola will be unhappy.

Before tonight's match Scottish Secretary, Michael Moore said: “The Olympics is of huge importance and the fact Hampden will be front and centre as the world turns it attention to the UK is great news for Glasgow and Scotland as a whole."

Well, as I said, front and centre may be just a little bit of an exaggeration. There was hardly anyone there. It may have good viewing figures in North Korea, but I'm willing to bet that's the exception.

Mr Moore continued: “The Olympics is our chance to show the world what we are capable of as a nation and the hard work of people across the country is helping ensure the success of the Games." 

Barf. No. The Olympics is only one of a thousand of ways that Scotland can show what it is capable of, which is just as well, because one thing it would seem we are not too hot on, is geography.

The Scottish Secretary went on to say that he was looking forward to watching the game and hearing the first-ever Olympic roar at Hampden.

Well I hope he enjoyed it, because it was actually a boo.

So yeah, in what in most cases would have been an relatively minor insult, Logoc managed to show the wrong flag on a big screen as players were introduced. The trouble is that they displayed the flag of South Korea, a country with which North Korea is at war, and has been for around 60 years.

They really couldn't have got it more wrong. The North Koreans walked off and  the kick off was delayed for over an hour.

A statement by the London 2012 organisers said: 

"Today ahead of the women's football match at Hampden Park, the South Korean flag was shown on a big screen video package instead of the North Korean flag.

"Clearly that is a mistake." (Nah!!!??? Well, I never!) 

"We will apologise to the team and the National Olympic Committee and steps will be taken to ensure this does not happen again."

Thus far no one seems to know who prepared the offending (and offensive) video package.

Top flag: North Korea; Bottom flag: South Korea. They're not even vaguely similar, are they?

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TIME ASK... WELL DON'T ASK OMEGA

The tickets for the London Olympics went on sale today with 500 days to go before the opening ceremony...

...And the countdown clock, which started at midnight (pictured--tasteful, isn’t it?), broke down.

The Omega (official partners of the Olympics*) time piece stopped at with only 499 of the 500 days left to go. The company were clearly mortified by the fault which happened as aristocrats (well Seb Coe) and other dignitaries (well Boris anyway) launched the countdown to London 2012. The said they couldn’t explain what had gone wrong (worrying) and that their experts had developed, installed and tested the clock (also worrying). It might have inspired confidence if the failure had not been the work of their experts!!

I imagine that as partners in the games, Omega will be responsible for the instruments which will be used to record the athletes’ performances. So let’s hope they can do a bit better with that. ("Ah sorry, we think that was a record, but the clock stopped. You wouldn't just like to go again?")

As Visa are also partners in the Games, the only means of reserving tickets is with one of their cards, which is a tad unfortunate for the millions of people in Britain who have Mastercards, or indeed no cards at all (there is a link to Visa on the site, so you can apply for one...hmmm cunning).

The Games which we have repeatedly been told are for the good of all of Britain, not just England, or specifically London (I’m still trying to work this out), appear only to be good for Britons who have a Visa card. So that will be me stuffed then.

Of course there was a glitch with that too. The only Visa cards to be accepted were those with an end date of August 2011, which meant that thousands of people whose cards have an end date before that cannot complete their transactions.

So now the London Games appear to be for all Britons who have Visa cards that do not expire before August. The numbers of Britons who are likely to be able to profit from the Games just gets smaller by the day.

Not only that, but the “hard pressed British taxpayer” and the “hard working British family” (which has a Visa card) “in these straitened times” has to compete with foreigners (I wonder how many of them have Visa cards) for ticketing. The tickets will not be sold exclusively, or first, to Britons (with Visa cards). The damned cheek is that, having paid for the damned carry on out of our taxes that Brits should have to pay for damned seats too.

It’s going to be interesting watching the faux pas over the next 499 days (although we may lose count, especially if they can’t get the clock going)...probably more interesting than the £9 billion plus Games! And certainly better value for money (with your Visa card, of course).

* They should get themselves proof readers for the page. Tacky!

Pics: (1 and 2) Hickory Dickory Dock, what’s happened to the clock? At just after midnight and a few hours later. Oh dear. (3) Lord Sir Seb Coe, OBE... are there any titles this bloke hasn’t got? He’ll be a prince if it all goes off OK next year. (4 and 5) What on earth are these logos like? The second ones seems to suggest the Games are to be held in Zoizdon...probably Polish!