Saturday 25 May 2013

DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO GO TO ETON? ARE YOU TOO POOR TO PAY THE FEES?

HERE'S YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO GET A SCHOLARSHIP


Thanks to an article in The Independent we know the questions  for an Eton scholarship. We pass them to you in utter secrecy...

Please note that you need only do this test if you are poor.

If you are rich parents, you will be able to afford the fees.

Have a go.... just remember that (as Maggie Curren said this morning on 'Good Morning Scotland'), if your child goes to study in England, and Scotland becomes an independent country, he will become a foreigner. Can you live with that?



1.  Twenty-five protesters have been killed by the Army.  You are the Prime Minister.  Explain why employing the Army against violent protesters was the only option available to you and one which was both necessary and moral.

2. Consider the following sentences in Jangli (a made-up language) with their English translation:
Waldan razu - I am a writer; Had waldan razu - I am the writer.  Write down how you express the following in Jangli - the.

3. Applicants read a speech by inspirational teacher Zarathustra to his pupils and are asked what is meant by the following phrase:  "You are my believers: but what do believers matter"?

4. If today is Friday, what is the day that follows the day that comes after the day that precedes the day before yesterday?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address, together with a €250 registration fee. All cheques made payable to Tris!¬

2 comments:

  1. Will this do?

    1. I am the Prime Minister. I do not have to explain anything.
    2. How silly; there is no word for “the” in Jangli as it is a made-up language. It’s you that’s been had.
    3. Is this guy one of your teachers? I am not sure you should be employing someone with a name like that.
    4. One day is much the same as another and I can’t be bothered with this any more.

    P.S. I have not enclosed a cheque as Euros are for those nasty foreigners, including the Jocks when they are foreign too.

    Other than the usual visits to Klosters and Monaco I have nothing to do with Europe, wherever it is. My chap that does looks after any incidental expenses.

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  2. Brilliant Barney...

    You're a natural for Eton. Start on Monday.

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