SOMEONE TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING?

There a line in almost every "It ain't half hot mum" (the complete series of which I've been watching on DVD) where Gloria says... "It's like amateur night in Dixie". 

It fits the BT campaign to a tee, from their cack handed choice of names, of slogans and of "heavyweights" (you know, the men who wrecked the economy of the UK telling us how terrible our economy would be without the rest of Britain), to no more Doctor Who,  to the daft patronising video that shows a numb-headed woman in the kitchen, whose biggest worry seems to be whether her husband has eaten his breakfast cereal. 

Actually a friend of mine suggested that it would be an interesting idea to have a competition to see which was the most ridiculous scare story they had come up with.

SHUT UP

One, apparently emanating from the House of Lords, quite possibly one of the noble members talking in his sleep, suggested that the rules of golf would have to be changed if Scotland were independent. I'm not quite sure why, or what changes he would have expected to see, but it struck me as incredibly stupid as the rules of golf are set in St Andrews, Scotland at the moment; always have been, and presumably always will be. Maybe he just felt that that was OK as long as St Andrews was in the UK, but as soon as it wasn't they'd have to move the home of golf to the Oval, where it would be safe!

Another howler came from a correspondent to the Dundee Courier and Advertiser, who smirked that he had noticed a YES sticker in a car which had a personalised number plate, and he had come to the someone satisfying conclusion that, after independence, as these plates were issued in Swansea, Wales, the person would no longer be entitled to use it. This despite having bought it and paid for it. Not sure if they were going to send up some Welshman to take it back.

I'd welcome any other contenders for stupidest scare story from the "amateur night in Dixie" that is the Naysays UKOK Nob Orders.

And on the theme of stupid, who the hell thought it a good idea for Downing Street to fly a Scottish flag? Downing Street isn't the office of the First Minister of Scotland or the Secretary of State; it's the office of the First (prime) Minister and First Lord of the Treasury of the United Kingdom and it is in England. To fly the Scottish flag was just plain patronising. It was like they were saying: "You probably don't understand the words we are saying so here's a picture. We love you."

Of course what was even more embarrassing was that the flag clearly didn't want to be flown there. It fell down and then hung miserably in the calm English air.

Pointy fingers are coming to tell you off

But, there's more today. In yet another piece of the suicide mission, Cameron, Miliband and Clegg are coming to Scotland to lecture us tomorrow.

Cameron must be one of the least liked politicians in Scotland... in Britain even; Miliband isn't really terribly far behind him, and Nick Clegg....well, least said, soonest mended. And they are all piling up to Scotland leaving their jobs at PMQs with all that is going on in the world, to try to shore up their miserable team of Scots that has failed them dreadfully. Apparently big hitters, ex prime minister, ex chancellors, and lords a plenty.

Just got this from Twitter. Classic! 

But for these three English multi-millionaires with privileged backgrounds to come to tell people to vote for millionaires' Britain?  What Are they like?

Amateur night at...