THE THINGS THEY SAY....

English language signs abroad.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Doctor's office, Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Hotel, Acapulco:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Booklet about using a hotel air-conditioner, Japan:
Cooles and heates: if you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour. (My favourite)

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

On the grounds of a private school:
No trespassing without permission.

On an Athi River highway:
Take notice:  When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

On a poster at Kencom:
Are you an adult that cannot read?  If so, we can help.

In a City restaurant:
Open seven days a week, and week-ends too.

One of the Mathare buildings:
Mental health prevention centre.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand-dryer:
Do not activate with wet hands.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
No children allowed.

In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.