Thursday 17 May 2012

STILL IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE; IT COULD HAVE BEEN THERESA MAY

For a nausea inducing few minutes of "we're just ordinary people" you'd go a long way to beat the right honourable Justine (the only pretty one in the cabinet) having a "good old walk up to cabinet".


And if that doesn't do it for you, a bit later there's the jolly old right honourable Francis the minister for creating crises, and this time he's dusting off the jolly old bike and pumping some air into the jolly old tyres and getting his chauffeur to pick him up, no sorry... he gets a bit out of puff, ho ho ho, but it's jolly good for the old circulation, what! 


So what is the purpose of all this carry on, I hear you ask... Well, I don't but I'll tell you anyway...


Well, you see, the muppets who are supposedly organising the London Olympics, in addition to:
* not considering the need for security in the whole of the last 8 years since they were lumbered with, I mean of course, since they took to London the honour of hosting the Olympics and beat the Frogs; 
* not considering that Heathrow couldn't cope with the inevitable influx of passengers;


also took until now...about 6 weeks before the whole thing kicks off..to remember that some people don't have chauffeured cars to get them around and that London's public transport, which was falling to pieces 20 years ago, still has had almost nothing done to it.


So the jolly old wheeze is that they are asking Londoners to get up early, go to work in the middle of the night to avoid the rush hour when the roads and trains will be needed for the Olympics. 


Alternatively they want Londoners to work from home (difficult when you flip burgers for a living, but they probably didn't think about that). And, failing that, they want people to walk to work, or cycle... or swim up the river, or any other means of travel, as long as they don't block the metro and the buses and show the world what a chaotic mess they have made of the whole thing.


But Londoners, have no fear, you are not alone...you are all in it together, and, just to prove it, your betters are showing an example. If these important and highly bred people can walk or cycle, or turn up at 6.30 in the morning, then so surely can you. It's for London, for England and St George...and the Queen!


Pfffffffffffffffff!


Oh, and the bloke at the end, yeah the one with the... erm...uh, 'interesting, and somewhat daring'... orange tie... yeah you...if you're reading this, it's a good idea, just before you go on camera, to make sure that you brush the dandruff off your suit.


You see, you'll find that once people notice that you have dandruff on your jacket, they lose interest in what you are saying and concentrate on 'les petites pellicules'. Specially when you're terminally boring.

7 comments:

  1. The ghastly Mike Penning too. Ex-Fireman and now working class Tory. Usually the very worst kind, witness Mrs Thatcher and Eric Pickles. Mr Penning is the one that swiped Scotland’s emergency tugs.

    Worst of all they have dreamed up a silly word for their wheeze “remoding”. It reminds me of a trip to PC World where I noticed a staff notice board where they were all being urged to “solutionize”! It seems that the English department for Transport is now being run like PC World. That’s a comfort then!

    Does anyone really believe that Greening walked all the way from her house rather than just get the ministerial limo to drop her half way down Whitehall? As MP for Putney I assume she lives there, so quite a long walk then, must have set off in the middle of the night indeed!

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  2. As for the guy at the end, they would have been better getting Sir Les Patterson, he wouldn’t have looked so much like a dirty old man you would not want to sit next to on the bus!

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  3. I wonder, munguin, if they think that people who didn't go to Eton or Marlborough, are so stupid that they can't work out that in fact these people will not be getting up at 4 and walking to work. They will, as usual, have the ministerial car with the ministerial chauffeur pick them up... but a little later because they will be able to avail themselves of the Zil lanes.

    As for the man who remoded our tugs a few days before they were desperately needed, as I recall, is he really going to turn up at 6 every morning at the Commons... ? Will he get his admin staff to do that too? Will they be happy to work all these extra hours? Or will they be half asleep, so the usual level of snafus will not be interrupted?

    As for Sir Les... ha ha ha ha ha ha...

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  4. Man in the orange tie, Norman Baker MP, is he not the one who was leading the campaign for MPs to publish their expenses but was blocked by Michael Martin? Good guy in my opinion if so.

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  5. Hello Craig P... Welcome to Munguin's Republic.

    I don't know if he was that one. But yeah, if he was, despite the tie and the dandruff, he did do some good. Fill Yer Boots Martin wasn't likely to want to give way on it though, was he? (How that man can show his miserable face in public is beyond me!)

    Anyway, yeah, if that's him then I raise my hat to him. Pity he got himself involved in this nasty, cheap, nauseating, patronising crap though.

    He should have known better. Still, what some folk will do for a ministerial car.

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  6. But, but -

    Justine and Francis will not be walking or cycling to work while the Olympics are on.

    Parliament is in recess from 17 July to 3 September.

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  7. Hey Barney...welcome to the Republic...

    Ahhh... to be fair though ministers do have to go to work in their departments even though parliament isn't sitting.

    But they won't be cycling anyway... lol it's just a wee amateur home movie... and very amateur at that. They'll be in the limo, in the Zil lane...

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