Thursday, 1 December 2011
WELCOME TO ENGLAND: ENJOY YOUR STAY, BUT SPEAK ENGLISH OR ELSE!!
I was in France a few weeks ago with a crowd of mates from Scotland, England, Canada, the US and Australia. We were on countless trains, buses and trams, and most of the time we talked English, although some of us spoke fluent French.
I'm very glad that we did not meet the French equivalent of this woman (for I'm sure she exists).
I assume, given her accent, that when she says that they are in her country, she means England. I assume that the "my language" she referred to was English. It's a great pity that she, herself, appeared to have so much difficulty with it. She was, for example completely unable, search though she might, to find any adjective other than "F******g".
I'm pretty sure that there would be more people on that train who had a problem with her incessant F*****g than they would with whatever language her correspondents were speaking.
Next year a vast number of foreign athletes, managers and spectators will decent upon London for the Olympic Games. They will be speaking every language from Icelandic to Maori. And between themselves it's probably that they will speak their own language (perhaps because once you establish a relationship with someone in a particular language, it's quite difficult to speak another language with them).
It's not my town, and it's not my country, so I don't give a damn personally, but if I were a Londoner I'd be hoping that this woman takes her annual holiday during that time.
I'm sure that the moment her feet touch Spanish soil she'll switch to that language, in which doubtless she can express herself with total fluency.
Dos F*****g Beeros and uno packeto of salto and vinegaro F*****g chrispos, garkono. Pronto.
PS: Before someone else points this out (quite reasonably), I am aware that we have equally mouthy, equally ignorant toe rags in Scotland. It so happens this one (and the one last week) were English. I'm sure it won't be long before a Scottish rant will be uploaded to Youtube. I'll be happy to feature that, or a French one, too.