A mate sent me this list which had me falling about laughing. I hope you'll enjoy it too... It's light relief (oh did you see what I did there....light relief? ) after yesterday's post....
1 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2 You know stuff about tanks.
3 A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
4 You can open all your own jars.
5 Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7 You can leave the motel bed unmade.
8 You can kill your own food.
9 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
10 Wedding plans take care of themselves.
11 If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she
can still be your friend.
12 Your underwear is £5 for a three-pack.
13 If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
14 Everything on your face stays its original colour.
15 You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
16 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17 You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
18 Car mechanics tell you the truth.
19You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
20 Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
21 Wedding dress - £2,000. Kilt rental - 50 quid.
22 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
23 If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
24 Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
25 You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
26 You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27 You almost never have strap problems in public.
28 You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
29 The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30 You don't have to shave below your neck.
1 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2 You know stuff about tanks.
3 A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
4 You can open all your own jars.
5 Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7 You can leave the motel bed unmade.
8 You can kill your own food.
9 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
10 Wedding plans take care of themselves.
11 If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she
can still be your friend.12 Your underwear is £5 for a three-pack.
13 If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
14 Everything on your face stays its original colour.
15 You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
16 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17 You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
18 Car mechanics tell you the truth.
19You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
20 Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
21 Wedding dress - £2,000. Kilt rental - 50 quid.
22 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
23 If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
24 Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
25 You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
26 You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27 You almost never have strap problems in public.
28 You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
29 The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
30 You don't have to shave below your neck.
As we all know most of the above do not apply to lads under 21!!
............................
Ha ha we might die younger than women but we have a lot more fun while we're here.
ReplyDeleteHa ha you're right there. I'm a feckin legend ;)
ReplyDeleteNot so sure about:
ReplyDelete29, or 16, or indeed 30!
Aye man's Life... Our lives aren't quite so full of amxieties.... I think... MInd, if that's true why do we die so much earlier.
ReplyDeleteStill, when you come to think about it, that isn't too much of a problem. After all, it's the yukky bit at the end we miss out on.
Moaty... yeah mate...we've all heard of you... you leg end LOL...:¬)
ReplyDeleteLOL... good one Dean....
ReplyDelete.... it is a kinda generalization!!!
12's a bit on the dodgy side too if you're a fan of Aussiebum or Calvin Klein!!
£5 for a three pack, thats upmarket. Thats only for Dean and his posh friends.
ReplyDeleteYou a Primark boy Dubs?
ReplyDeletePrimark is still upmarket for me Tris.
ReplyDeleteEw er dude... Pound shop undies?
ReplyDelete<;¬)
Being honest Dubbieside I don't shop for my own, I get someone else to do it. I honestly hate shopping, its basically spending money thats not yours, on goods you dont need, on prices which are inflated ... nah ... horrid.
ReplyDeleteWhat is underwear,????
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Indyan Hat
ReplyDelete..... erm.....ugh......
Yeah...
Help!!!!
Lordy Dean...
ReplyDeleteThat's not a very Tory attitude. Where wold the free market be if everyone took that attitude?
Besides... unless you're a commando boy ....you do need underwear....
Of course I have underwear! I just don't go out myself, thats what other people are for! lol
ReplyDeleteI bet you send the Under(wear) footman....
ReplyDeleteLOL...Did you see that.... Jeez, I missed my vocation. I should do stand up!
lol, nah, just a friend or mother. It's an old habit we're both accustomed to, as she'd originally send me such things when I was away at school.
ReplyDeleteIt suits us both to continue the arrangement. It saves me money [and the ordeal of shopping], and she feels wanted :D
Pound shop shreddies are still superior to charity shop ones...
ReplyDeleteOch Dean... aren't you nice to your mum LOL....
ReplyDeleteJings Conan... you know how to fill a lul in the conversation mate....
ReplyDeleteThe thought of wearing someone elses underwear (no dirty comment thanks) makes me want to rush off an have a shower!!
#31 - One mood, all the time.
ReplyDelete