The “End of the World” was nigh, he informed us. We had less than two months to get ourselves sorted out and prepare for RAPTURE.
Well, I’m here to tell you (reminded by Danny, our man in America with his finger on the pulse of the Church of Utter Nutjob’s activities) that the nearly two months is up ...tomorrow. So I hope you’ve heeded the warning, repented your sins and left your affairs in good order, because those of you who have been good will, tomorrow, be raptured and taken up into Heaven, and the rest of us will be left here on Earth to face the consequences of our evil ways with earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, Nick Clegg and other natural, and unnatural, disasters.
Now the good Mr Camping neglected to intimate to me, exact details of the actual hour at which this will occur, so this may be the “last post” of mine that you will ever read... and if somebody has been very sloppy with the record keeping up there in Heaven, or indeed the “system is down”, and I myself am “raptured”, this may even be the last post that I shall ever write.
Failing that (and you'll remember that the good reverend has a rather dubious record on accuracy when it comes to predicting the world's end), I’ll see you all on Sunday.
Bonne fin de la semaine ou du monde, et bon rapture (maybe)!