Wednesday, 26 January 2011


The economy shrank last quarter, but according to Mr Osborne it was because of bad weather. So that will be fine, you’d think. When the warmer weather gets here everything will be back to normal.

But you’d be wrong, according to Mr King, the governor of the Bank of Britain (or that part of Britain that counts). This is going to be a hard year, says he. Inflation will raise and wages will fall again (except for bankers, MPs and the royal family), unemployment will soar, apart from the aforementioned people, who appear to get a by on that too.

We need to tighten our belt and support the government on this, says Mr King (why has he not yet got a title?), because he thinks both they, and he, are right in these matters.

I, of course prefer the theory illustrated so effectively by his own people in the banking industry. When they were worried that there would be no bonuses for them, they arranged for pay rises of up to 50% to compensate; then when they found that the government had only been joking about the bonuses, they kept the pay rises and the bonuses as well.

So with higher fuel, higher taxes, higher domestic fuel, higher food prices, higher clothing prices, higher prices on imported good (almost everything) because the pound is falling faster that the snow that so upset the economy, and lower wages, life in looks like a real holiday (and even they will become more expensive as the pound plummets) as the warmer weather comes our way. A spokesman for the government said that we all have to buy into this because we are all in it together.

You could not make this up.

Pic: Poor wee Georgie can't even afford a hair cut.


  1. somepapfaedundeeJanuary 26, 2011 4:35 pm

    Hi peeps, been a wee while.

    You really are the web's finest purveyors of appalling Osborne pictures :)

    Well if an ordinary salt-of-the-earth bloke like the Governor of the Bank of England says us proles need to suck it up, who am I to argue?
    (jk, Obviously)

    So the economy is completely b0rked, but the cuts aren't ideological apparently. No, apparently the 'crisis' (can a crisis last years?) is actually to do with government (the previous one) overspending on the tiresome public sector. So all this talk of the tories just bleeding the rest of society for the benefit of those on top is nonsense - apparently it's just that the public debt is basically the result of governmental overspending, which presumably means that the financial sector aren't a bunch thieving, parasitic, c***s after all, and the Con/Dem govt aren't in fact their willing/witless lackeys.

    So that UK national debt of 59.3% GDP is mostly the fault of the previous government spending.

    Of course it would be nice to know, just for the record, how small a role the financial mess did play in the whole story wouldn't it.

    so taking that 59.3% of GDp debt level, what happens if you factor in the financial interventions the UK govt has made:-

    (Office of National Statistics)
    'The unadjusted measure of public sector net debt expressed as a percentage of gross domestic product (GDP), was 154.9 per cent at the end of December 2010 compared with 157.9 per cent at end of December 2009. Net debt was £2322.7 billion at the end of December compared with £2248.4 billion a year earlier.

    Wait! that's nearly triple what the total of the 'other' causes of national debt are!!!

    So the financial sector *is* responsible for racking up a huge chunk of our national debt (~2 times everything else!) it seems.

    hmmm, maybe the next thing we should do is go to google and type in 'who owns the UK national debt'

    brace yourself.

  2. Yep it wuz Frosty the Snowman that dun it that well known economic saboteur he single handledly with a twinkle of snow brought the U.K economy to a freezing halt......

  3. Hey Pap... Nice to see you back. I thought it was something I'd said. He he.

    The Osborne pics are a particular pleasure for me and it’s really good to know we are best on the web at something ;¬)

    It’s good to see you back especially delivering such an interesting piece as that. And there’s research toooooo! It seems that these naught bankers were indeed largely guilty of wrecking our lives... and it appears that that nice Mr Osborne and that nice Mr Cameron may have been telling porkies. Such a pity in boys so well brought up. I dunno. You send them to the best English schools money can buy, and then they go up to Oxford and still they turn out wrong uns.

    What can ye do?

  4. PS, I was going to suggest that they should be sent to good Scottish schools, and then I remembered the rubbish that Fettes pumped out...

  5. Hello there Niko. It was indeed Frosty who was guilty. Noody and Big Ears are rumoured also to have had something to do with it, not to mention Evil Edna.

  6. Tris see the coulson story has just erupted big time.............sackings and new old Bill to do another inquiry

    this will run and run or should that be ruin and ruin for Cameron

  7. Apparently the New Old Bill said

    Evening all!!

    I see sir you mean that piece evidence there
    well sir my colleagues er! umm! ah! coughs
    obviously um! never err! noticed it sitting there um!

    Evening all!

  8. Ha ha ... Niko. I haven't seen the news tonight. But Coulson didn't resign for nothing. There was something coming...and he knew it.

  9. You reckon that Murdoch "persuaded" the police it wouldn't be in their best interests to make much effort in this case?

  10. tris..

    There are supposed to be 3,000 phone tapping records still on the police books. The police are refusing to name the 'celebrities' on the tapes and this is what is holding back the dam of billions waiting in compensation. Max Clifford accepted £1m to get lost and even McSnotty is sniffing around claiming his flying Nokias were hacked ( probably short of a few bob when he realised everyone knows he's a feckwit and don't want him polluting their parties with after dinner save the world bullshit speeches).
    It looks like Gorgeous George Galloway is the only 'celebrity' who won't take a million and get lost. 'By the grace of God I am wealthy and won't take their money. I'll see them in court. I don't admire their indefatiga.....' etc.

  11. tris -
    cheers, just been a bit busy.
    btw I should have left a link to the ONS bit I quoted -

    As for phones and Cameron - I'm not holding my breath for Cameron taking significant damage from it; I'd love to be wrong though.
    I'd like to see the police have some light shone on their (lack of) efforts in this affair.

    Mr. Mxyzptlk
    Who'd have thought they'd pretty much get away with blaming it on the weather? You couldn't make it up.

    keep up the Osborne picture hunt!

  12. By the grace of god I'm as poor as a church mouse (he musta used all the good grace on wee Georgie)... and wondering where the hell the gorgeous one got all his money from. Must've been selling his body I reckon. Heaven knows there a lot of it these days.

    I reckon Brown only jumped on the bandwagon because everyone important seems to have been tapped and he thinks he should be part of that circle, but you could be right. He turned down the big payoff because he thought he’d make as much money as Tony. (Note to Brown: Tony at least had the good grace to stand down as an MP before he set off to greedily acquire his billions by whatever method his wife saw fit.)

    The police don't want to investigate anything Murdoch does, because they are all scared to hell that next Sunday a photograph of them sneaking into a gay club, or a bondage place or,..well, heaven knows what else will surface... in next week’s Nudes of the World. Jordan can’t make it every week you know. She’s running out of wheezes. (Next time, it’s rumoured, she’s going to marry a warthog instead of a cross dressing cage fighter... but the marriage will break down within days, without ever having been consummated!)

  13. I said to Monty, it's probably about the police going easy on Murdoch because of his vast cellar of files on just about everyone who matters... probably even McSnott.

    Everyone's got a guilty secret...

    I will try to keep finding interesting picures of Osborne... I've got a few corkers of the other ones... I just need the right story.

  14. I'm surprised Gideon didn't blame global warming for the economy shrinking. Cast Irons gimp said the unexpected dip was due to the snow and ice. The global warming experts now say that the unexpected snow and ice (in winter ?) is due to global warming. No really..

    The new buzzword is agc ( anthro global cooling ). As the world heats up due to CO2 we will all get colder temperatures.

    So we've had

    agw global warming - didnae happen
    climate change - didnae happen
    dangerous climate disruption - nothing unusual
    and now..

    anthro global cooling due to anthro global warming.

    Beware.................. "AGCDTAGW"

  15. tris..

    Aye Jordan has had more pricks than a second hand dart board. Her fanny must be like a wizards sleeve or a clowns pocket and been cocked more times than John Waynes musket.
    Still pump it but ;)

  16. Aye Shuggie, it's a wee bit confusing to someone who hasn't even got a standard grade in meteorology, so it is.

    I tend to leave it to those who think they know something about it.

    The world will probably see me out...then it can blow up for all I care.

  17. How eloquently put Monty...

    Have you thought about writing poetry?


  18. I've thought about posting some of my poems and hopefully collecting your visitors loose change for my efforts. You wouldn't mind hosting my 'paypal' logo would you tris ?
    They're all the rage now on blogs such as yours.

  19. Oh well Monty... if they're "all the rage" (what does that mean exactly?) I expect we'll have to have it on here.

    40% suit you?

    ^ ^
    0 0

  20. Apparently Andy Gray the football pundit of sexist comments fame, is also suing the Murdoch empire, claiming his phone was tapped as well. He must be more stupid than he looks, fancy suing the guy who owns the company you work for! Well that explains why he is out on his ear now, better make sure he gets his half million he is going to need it!

  21. At what point do you think people are going to get off their arses and hit back? The government and their friends seem to be engaged in some sort of bizarre game whereby each takes a turn to humiliate those poorer than them worse than the previous, while playing a game of revolutionary 'chicken.' 'Will they complain? Will they? Come on George, you can do it... woooooah! The bastards gave up and just took it sitting down. Nice one Georgie!'

  22. Yes Munguin... He's a real thicko if he thinks that he could work for Murdoch and sue him without getting comeuppance. Uncle Rupe's squad has been waiting for him to do something wrong. He’s lucky he’s high profile. If he’d been back office he’d have been on his way a while ago.

  23. I dunno Laz. I thought that maybe Brits were developing some backbone a few weeks before Christmas when the English students kicked off about the lies that the Liberal part of the government had told, and the half lies that teh Tories had told.

    Not no. Gutless and suppine, we are sitting back on our asses, complaining and blogging and doing nothing. Me included.

    The Tunisians, Algerians and Egyptians have a bit more in the way of sprit.

    It worked in Tunisia. The president fled and is now wanted by Interpol, along with his family.

    Why don't we do that? Protected by the European Human Rights legislation we would be comparatively safe. A few beatings of course and the police would probably manage to kill a few of us; they certainly have in the past...

    But, it seems Brits like taking it from the upper classes. So whip away Cameron. Let the bankers double their salaries and still get bonuses; let the royal family have more and more money and give them total immunity from us knowing how they spend it.

    We'll just take more pay cuts and smile through it all, touch our forelocks when the likes of you go past and lower our eyes from your fine ladies (like Kinky Boots).