GORGEOUS GEORGE GRACES US WITH HIS CANDIDACY

So George Galloway... you know... the gorgeous one (some say), who thought that our politicians were “verbal stumblebums, who would regard the term ‘nonentity’ as a compliment”, and who compared Iain Gray and Alex Salmond in debate, to the Krankies, has decided that he would bring “a touch of class” to Holyrood.

Well, talking of Kranks, or cranks, George, how would it be if we pointed out that at least neither Mr Salmond nor Mr Gray have ever appeared on television, at least to my knowledge, in a pink leotard. (And, may I say, I fervently hope that they maintain that happy record.)

George Galloway has always been a tad on the weird side, but he is well educated and erudite and so he easily progressed from humble beginnings on Dundee’s council to be the youngest ever chairman of the Dundee Labour Party, General Secretary of War on Want, grace the floor of the Commons for Hillhead and later Kelvin and even later Bethnal Green in England.

He’s done some good stuff (pretty much sticking it to Tony Blair, which will always get a vote in my book, calling Bush and Blair liars and suggesting that troops should refuse to obey illegal orders in an illegal war), although there is no doubt that, along the way, he has become more and more strange, to the point where one wonders about madness of some sort.

The long and flowery speeches which at the same time impressed and caused amusement, especially when he let a Senate Committee have it in the neck, have become ridiculously pompous and overblown and, particularly following his appearance in the Big Brother House, he has become more of a figure of fun than anything else.

The thing I admire most about George is that he simply refuses to let authority beat him into submission. He uses his freedom to speak his mind to full effect and to the evident embarrassment of people who expect lesser beings to fold tents and be compliant. Indeed on an occasion when he was suspended from parliament for 18 days his response was: "To be deprived of the company for 18 days of the honourable ladies and gentleman behind me [in parliament] will be painful ... but I'm intending to struggle on regardless... What really upset them [the committee] is that I always defend myself... I am not a punch bag. If you aim low blows at me, I'll fight back". Would that some of the rest of the spineless morons who inhabit the green benches had half as much pluck... but most of them are looking for the main chance.

So now, and only because he has been thrown out of his seat in London, coming third behind the Labour and Tory candidates, George has decided to add a bit of class to the Scottish parliament. Aye well, that’s what HE thinks. Perhaps the Scottish people will have a different idea.

As far as I’m concerned it’s not a bad thing. His candidature will be likely to take votes from Labour without him having a hope of winning. This can only be to the SNP’s advantage.

Much of the information in this article was gleaned for this article by Ruth Wishart, whom I always had down as a bit of a feminist. I was surprised then to read her sneering at the idea that George had dyed his beard. I wonder if she has ever referred to any female MPs pointing out that their hair colouring owed much to 4 hours with “Raymonde”.