Thursday, 29 July 2010


Flicking through some of the comics the other day, I came upon this hilarious story in the Mail, which I’m sure you will all enjoy.

It relates to a scene in the soap opera “Emmerdale”, a programme about which I know nothing, except that its opening music was written by Tony Hatch, a really great bloke whom I’ve met on several occasions, and who, of course, is the composer of so many international pop music successes for, amongst others, Petula Clark.

It appears that one of the families in the soap, shall we say, lacks any measure of sophistication, and on their shopping list, written on a blackboard in the kitchen, they have included along with rice, eggs and biscuits, the fact that they need to buy “pile cream” and a commonly used alternative name for ladies’ sanitary wear.

It’s interesting that the people who ‘stage’ the show, in characterising the working class characters have chosen this particular way to emphasise their background, and I'm torn about whether it was or was not necessary. I honestly don’t know if the average modern working class family would write that kind of thing on their shopping list. I’m not good with shopping lists myslef, and on the board in my kitchen I forget to write what I want, and I forget to look before I go out, rendering it a great big ‘white elephant’ rather than a ‘white board’.

What’s funny is the reaction to this particular piece of characterization. People are up in arms, because they might have to explain to their children the meaning of the said articles....

This is a programme where, as I understand it, there is bed hopping, incest, sexual impropriety, homosexuality, murder, theft, murky business dealings, etc, etc, etc.... and they let their kids watch it and worry that they have to explain pile (sic) cream.

Some people must spend their lives looking for something to complain about.


  1. Pile cream? They know where they can stick that...

  2. Tris

    'Tony Hatch' 'international 'pop music' successes'
    'Petula Clark.'

    Lumee! Tris you aint half showing your advanced age I advise a young mistress and a fast bike make a younger 'MAN' of you

  3. I think someone has been having a laugh with the props here. Nobody would put those items together on a shopping list (maybe Phil Woolas).

    I do agree about Tony Hatch a very clever man indeed.

  4. Ha ha Connan.... I wondered who was gonna say that! ;-)

  5. Ah Niko... a friend indeed, looking after my best interests. How kind you are!

    A bike? Why would I want a bike... ?

    Tony was indeed a man of considerable influence on pop music from the 50s through to the 80s, but just because he has kinda faded from the music scene there's no need to write him off. His music is still good as the piece above shows.

    BTW, who on earth says Lumee.... Dick van Dyke?

  6. It's a bit of an old mystery Munguin, but it caused all kinds of furore among the "disgusted ofTunbridge Wells" lot.

    Like I say, they let their kids watch shows about murder, rape, incest, infidelity, crime of all sorts and they worry about slang words for STs and piles cream...

    Political incorrectness gone mad.

  7. Good spot. What nonsense. I wouldn't wipe my bum with the Daily Mail.

    I would with the Guardian, though, but only in an emergency. It may be a lefty rag full of nutters, but I reckon it's softer than the Mail, and longer - and it doesn't leave inky smears all over your buttocks - like the Telegraph does. As for the Independent...

  8. Denverthen: I sometimes look throught eh Mail if I want a laugh ... you know people getting indignant over nothing.

    I know that "political corectness gone mad" is always good for a laugh, but the reaction of the Daily Mail and its readers is always worth an extra chortle...

    ....have you ever tried Andrex by the way?

  9. "Andrex"? What's that lad? Some brand of indecent profilactic?

    By 'eck if we'd 'ad luxury like that when I were a boy, we'd 'ave never won 't war and I mit 'ave enjoyed me sex life! And don't thee forgit it.


    Sorry, I've been reading DH Lawrence and a bit of James Herriot (I like animals) recently. Old Yorkshire vernacular is clearly a powerful contagion, even from a book.

    Not actually sure why I'm here, actually. Oh yes, I remember, it was to pass on a humble view: your mate the Monkey-Penguin is an impressively passionate creature but, I'm sad to say, not much more than that.

    Maybe our differences outweigh our similarities, which would be a shame - at least to me.

  10. "Mungin" isn't yer dad is it tris? That would explain a lot, shockingly.

  11. Eeeek Denver... what a strange though... me the offspring of monkey-penguin... erm no. He's not! :-)

    You know, he's not a bad bloke when you get to know him. Incredibly clever and yes, I guess he's passionate about his beliefs.

    OUR differences? We don't have difference Denv buddy...although of course we disagree some times....'oftimes' (I thought you'd like that word... it seems to me to be a Lawrencian or even Herriot kind of word. Siegfried might say it; if not Tristan! Back to Wagner!

    Talking of Yorkshire, have you read the books about the school inspector set in the dales? (Can't remember the bloke's name.)

    (I like animals too, but here there are some excellent school stories and it's a laugh a minute!)

  12. Yea Denver that pretty much sums it up. Thanks for bringing your beef onto here where it doesn't belong. I promise I will do a positive story about the Tories when thet actually do something positive so you might have a long wait.