HURRAH, EVERYONE IS A MILLIONAIRE

It may have been mentioned here before, but at the risk of becoming a bit of a bore on the subject, I thought I might just mention again that Scotland and Norway, with approximately the same population, and relatively similar geographic position in northern Europe, were both blessed with oil at the same time.

Norway gratefully took the gift of vast sums of money, upgraded its infrastructure and set about putting away money into two funds to look after the future. A future when the oil might run out, or the world would move on from oil and find other ways to fuel its economies.

Scotland, on the other hand, generously gave all her money to her next door neighbour, because Scots were too wee, stupid and poor to make any sensible decisions, and they spent it on making Scottish people unemployed, building a lavish motorway system and a variety of other grandiose projects (new underground lines, Crossrail, and so on, all in and around their capital), building up the City of London to be the biggest and, some say, most corrupt financial centre in the world, and of course buying nuclear weapons from their friends in America.

And because they wanted to give Scotland something back for all that lovely oil money ...and because the nuclear weapons were pretty damned dangerous and very unpopular and no one wanted them in their back yard... they put them just a few miles away from Scotland's largest centre of population, creating a few hundred jobs to make up for the million or so they had got rid of by closing factories, mills, mines and shipyards. 

They were also able to buy a lot of favour from their friends by getting a job as America's patsy and going to war against anyone their transAtlantic friends didn't like.

And so it went on, everyone was happy... until just the other day Norway (with all it's pensions and social security funded and it's international investments being worth more than 1% of the total investment in the whole wide world) hit a land mark.

Every single one of Norway's population of just over 5 million men, women and children, became a millionaire in their own currency of the Kroner. The fund is THAT big.

This excited Scots who decided to inquire how much their oil fund (for they didn't expect two) was worth.

Imagine their surprise when they looked to see how close they were to becoming kroner millionaires... and found to their disappointment that, far from being equal or nearly equal with their Norwegian cousins, they were, in fact, each one of them in debt to the tune of 163,296.81 NKr for each man woman and child in the country.

Still, not a bunch to let ourselves be discouraged, we can at least say in all honesty that Norwegians don't have the honour of having weapons of mass destruction, with the power to take out whole suburbs of Moscow (as long as they get permission from the USA) only a few miles away from Oslo.

So... nah nah nah nah nah, Norway!

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Had to add this...

YOU'RE NOT BETTER TOGETHER IF YOU ARE A SCOTTISH FARMER

SNP MEP Alyn Smith has reacted angrily to news that the UK government has announced that it will not pass on hundreds of millions of pounds in EU agriculture payments to Scotland; funds which only accrue to the UK because of Scotland's unique agriculture.

The decision comes in the wake of a cross party call from Scottish politicians at Holyrood, including the Labour, Tory and LibDem parties as well as the Scottish government, for the payment to be passed on.  The decision sees Scottish farming losing out on €60 million a year to which they are objectively entitled.

Mr Smith said: "I'm beyond angry at this remarkable decision, I had in my naivety taken it to be a foregone conclusion, especially after the very sensible cross party consensus at Holyrood united to fight Scotland's corner.

"This money only comes to the UK because of Scotland's poor CAP budget allocation, and to see the funds go elsewhere - a badger goalpost moving cull perhaps! - is an outrage.

"Scotland's farmers are entitled to this money.  The EU allocated the budget to our member state government in order to rectify the situation we have in Scotland.  It is being withheld, I'll do my utmost to reverse this dreadful decision and I call upon all of Scotland's politicians to continue our cross party efforts to fight Scotland's corner."

Who, I wonder, is going to be the beneficiary of this little windfall over the years between now and independence. maybe best give it to Iain Duncan Smith's Department for Work and Pensions. The way this idiot pours money down the drain he'll need every cent he can lay his hands on to pay his expenses. Or maybe Philip Hammond will need it to pay for his bells and whistles celebration of the first world war?

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You'll need to click on this to be able to read it.

...and this

Jeremy Hunt, the English Health Secretary, is in line for a windfall worth more than £15m from a company sale that would propel him to the top of the Cabinet rich list.

Hotcourses, an education listings service set up by Hunt 17 years ago, is in detailed negotiations about being sold to Inflexion Private Equity, an investment firm, for about £35m.

Mr Hunt is understood to own 49% of Hotcourses, meaning that his shareholding would be worth just over £17m if the takeover is completed.

Not bad going for a total thicko!

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Analysis of the UK government's  fat cats reveals they are worth tens of millions of pounds between them. If Jeremy Hunt does net £17million from the Hotcourses deal, he would easily become the richest person at the Cabinet table.  The current value of the 10 wealthiest cabinet ministers is:

1. Philip Hammond £8.2m

2. William Hague £4.8m

3. Jeremy Hunt £4.8m

4. George Osborne £4.5m

5. David Cameron £3.8m

6. Francis Maude £3.2m

7. Dominic Grieve £2.9m

8. Nick Clegg £2m

9. Theresa May £1.8m

10. Owen Paterson £1.7m

Just shows, money can't buy you either looks or brains!