PAID FOR BY THE GRACIOUSNESS OF HER BRITANNIC MAJESTY'S LONDON GOVERNMENT

...OR MORE ACCURATELY, YOUR TAXES AND A PILE OF BORROWING

It seems that the UK government has decided to show us how grateful we should be for their beneficence with our taxes.

We have long been told that our little northern land is heavily subsidised by the generous and kind remainder of the UK, despite figures which have shown the contrary.

Now we are to be treated like the foreigners they keep on telling us we are not.

Good things that come to us through our membership of the United kingdom are to be labeled with a UK flag in the same way that aid for the third world is labeled as being from Britain. 

According to the Daily Mail, "The use of the logo is seen as a small step in shoring up support for the UK north of the border, with the SNP set to make big gains in May’s general election".

Well, I wish them luck with that. Another daft blue Tory idea which will be promoted by the much loved Danny Alexander!!! 

I wonder how many of these things they can attach to bridges and roads in the nine weeks before the election. It goes without saying that they will anger as many people as they will cheer. 

And of course most people will simply not notice them, unless they are huge and obtrusive. Still, in these times when we have money to burn... why not?

The plan has been drawn up with Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude (wouldn't you know it?), who said, amazingly without a single "jolly well": ‘As part of our long term economic plan, this government is investing in our nation's physical and digital infrastructure.'

Erm... Francis, isn't that what governments are supposed to do, you know, when they aren't arranging lucrative jobs for themselves so that they don't have the indignity of having to live on between £70,000 and £150,000 a year, you know compared to a working class pensioner living on £114 a week!? 

Actually, I don't really have any objection to it, as long as they remember to label all the rotten filthy things they do to us with our own taxes.

For example: JobcentrePlus, killing sick people off every day, brought to you courtesy of the British Government with a large Union Flag on it next to the smiling face of Iain Duncan Smith. (And yes, we are sure you know how to make him smile.)

ENCORE QUELQUES PENSÉES ALÉATOIRES..OR, AS WE SAY IN SCOTLAND

I was shaking with anger this morning as I heard the chairman of Southern Cross, Christopher Fisher, try to excuse the catastrophic mess that they are in. Directors sold off the properties to make themselves shed loads of money; properties on which they now cannot afford to pay the rents, resulting in old and vulnerable people being left in a state of despair over their futures. It appears that directors made millions by selling their shares just before these same shares took a nosedive. The care of elderly people is far too important to be left in the hands of money grubbing spivs like this lot. The governments should take the homes into public ownership. The worth of the company is nil, so there should be no compensation to the shareholders. That we treat our elderly so badly is an horrific reflection upon our society.

The Telegraph reveals that the Duchess of York is on the verge of bankruptcy, again. What on earth does that woman do with money? This time, instead of selling her husband, she has sold herself for the ridiculously low sum of £200,000 to Oprah Winfrey’s tv channel for a documentary about, yes, you guessed it, how dreadful she feels; how embarrassed she is that she let everyone down; the shame she has brought on the royal family, etc. She lives rent free in a house that we provide for her husband because he is the son of the head of state. Otherwise, she says, she would be homeless. Has she heard of council housing? On the other hand it could be said that she was married to an extremely rich man form an extremely rich family. Maybe they could bale her out with the own private money?

Another day, another announcement from David Cameron that he is stepping up Britain’s foreign aid contribution. This time it is the very worthy cause of immunisation of children against diarrhoea and pneumonia. This makes the UK the largest donor in the world (even bigger than the USA) to this cause. However, needless to say Cameron announced this at a London conference on the subject, which gave him the opportunity to do a bit of grandstanding. I’d be the first to say that these vaccinations are important. I watch reports from Africa with kids dying of preventable disease with tears streaming down my face, so I am more than sympathetic to the cause. But when will this man start thinking about spending some money in the UK. There are sick kids here too.

Shock, horror. Kate Middleton wore a dress she had worn three years ago, and a coat she had worn four years ago. Perhaps she is just like all of us? Nope. Today I wore a coat I had worn yesterday and jeans that I had worn last week and (I don’t know if any of you do this sort of thing), that I had washed and ironed myself!!!.

Looks like this will be a ‘super u-turn week’ in Westminster, with not one but four of the pesky little blighters. Benefit caps; reduction in foreign students; weekly bin emptying in England (Eric Pickles, pictured), and yes, the English NHS nutjob plans of Andrew Nutjob Lansley. If Mrs Thatcher is still able to take any of this in she must be spinning in...er well, whatever she is in. Aye David, being prime minister isn’t all about garden parties, shaking hands with the senior partner, and making gifts that we have to borrow the money to give, and appearing with Michael Caine. A lot of people know that, but clearly you didn’t.