That's right, bow before your new monarch, while he looks bored, and in the opposite direction. What a prat!
Lower, you commoner. Another monarch you serve, Cameron.
Sorry readers. It wasn't our intention for you to choke with laughter.
Gideon promises to pay down the deficit by 3020, or 4020 or something...
Ah yes. There are numerous women in various different part of the country, who are lookalikes for this one. But it's OK, they aren't the same, because they have different names. What they have in common is that they all used to be Labour supporters, but now they are supporting the Ruth Davidson Party because Ruth is the only party utterly committed to the union.
Nice company to keep. Add the Ruth Davidson party.
Well, it wasn't them, was it?
Ah, the intelligentsia has arrived.
Has to be one or the other.
Better Together, huh?
...and Munguin's Republic.
Not gonna disagree with that!
Aye Jackie....
What's that you say Jackie? 13,000? Sure...
Well, you had to grow something for the poor, Dave.
You'd have thought they would have considered that before the belly ached about the one party state, or not?
Don't worry Dave. No one will ever say you were a great man. We can imagine what they WILL say, but Munguin's granny reads this so... Mum's the word...
Aye, that's Jim, the shortest ever holder of the labour leadership.. And that's saying something!
Well, you never know Frankie, it's best to be prepared... and then there are these 13,000 520 jobs or whatever you believe... the MoD or Jackonomics.
The Chinese President and his wife are going on a state visit to London, starting tonight and it seems Cameron is practising being suitably deferential.
It appears that since Obama took up with Frau Merkel, the Eton boy has been searching around for another "bestie" to whom he can grovel, the better to continue to be seen with a big boy somewhere in the world.
He is, we should never forget, quite popular with the Saudi royals, who find him a useful supplier of weapons, and of course, a ready sponsor for their chairmanship of the Human Rights Panel of the United Nations, which is pretty weird for arguably one of the world's worst abusers of human rights. Still, rich though they are, they don't quite have the je ne sais quoi of superpower mates! We know, of course Dave's friendship with Putin was somewhat strained after the Russian president knocked him back over his request to help defeat the Yes Campaign in the Scottish independence referendum, so that only really leaves the Chinese.
So Gideon, doing his master's bidding, was off last week to Beijing, promising the Chinese they can build England's railways and their nuclear power stations and ...well, anything really, as long as Xi (can I call you Jinping?) will pose for pictures with Cameron and make him look and feel like he actually matters a bit.,... not to mention making that ingrate Obama a little jealous! I heard that Charlie won't be at the state dinner for President Xi as, at 66 he needs to rest before embarking next month on some foreign visits. Just as well his 89 year old mother doesn't need to rest so much, or hosting Dave's state visit might entail dragging the enchanting princess Beatrice back from whatever holiday the lazy sponging git is on at the moment.
(As a side note, maybe Iain Duncan Smith would like to look into this potential client's case. It seems that she's been unemployed for 8 months and has only managed 17 holidays. Does this make her a striver or a skiver and should she be sanctioned?) As Munguin hasn't been invited to the state dinner we won't be able to give you chapter and verse about who sat next to whom, or how many courses there were. We did, however, manage to get along to Aldi's today and make a wee contribution to the local church's food-bank, then take some clothes to the very excellent Refugee centre in Dundee where fantastic people were working hard sorting donations to take to Calais. Anyway, we hope their state visit goes well. They would be welcome to come to Scotland sometime for Haggis and chappit tatties and neeps! Oh, and have a nice holiday, Beatrice. Don't you worry your pretty little head about poor suffering people, will you?
So, yesterday the ever-inept David Mundell (Fluffy Muddle as Munguin calls him), having accepted an invitation from Trussel Trust, turned up to open their new food bank in Dumfries. There are so many stories about the bold boy's disastrous day, I don't know where to start.
But I'll direct you to this account of his visit and its background written by the manager of First Base, the independent food bank that operates in the town. I'd urge you to read it. Mark writes very amusingly! I also urge you to read the "Scottish" Daily Mail's account of the event, which is literally quite unbelievable. And if your blood pressure with stand it, some of the comments from their readers. Clearly these people swallow the lies that their chosen newspaper lays out for them on a daily basis. Here's an example:
Strange how the SNP take no responsibility as normal. They
are the Government here not Tory party. . They have the power in Scotland. This
is their core support out their [sic] Everybody's fault in the world apart from
themselves. The true face of the nationalists. Bitter angry and full of hate.
These people need to take a look as [sic] Ms Sturgeon and Co. That is [sic]any off [sic] them
can leave London for 5 minutes and visit their constituency. At least Mr
Mundall [sic] has the courage to show his face.
Erm, yes, if only for a few minutes! The Mail's headline screams that the Scottish Nasty Party (yes, it says that... It's clearly competing to take over where the "Daily Sport" laid off) strikes again.
By the time you get down to the sub headlines (the bullet points for the hard of thinking) it has admitted that it is anti-austerity campaigners who were responsible, although it can't help but add, yet again, for the benefit of the dim, that that includes the SNP. I'd take being anti-austerity as a badge of honour, but it seems that being against people starving is a bad thing in the eyes of the good Lord Rothermere's Mail. The account goes on to say that these activists (again stating that they included SNP people, without saying who else was there) forced him (Fluffy) to flee by the back door. But the video shows that what appears to have forced him to leave the place in such a hurry, was a polite question from a lady who was in the building, asking why he had accepted the invitation from Trussel Trust to be involved in this food bank, but had refused a request by First Base to visit their food bank. (See mark's story for all the details.)
According to the Mail Mundell looked visibly shaken. It's not my place to offer advice to the great and the good...or indeed Fluffy... but, if a polite question like that has the effect of visibly shaking you, then maybe politics, or any other job which is public facing, is not for you. Our own Arbroath was at the event, and has provided Munguin with links to some of the articles that covered the story. She was herself interviewed by numerous organisations including television! As she points out in the comments of the last story (linked above), it seems that Mundell is not even the MP for the location of the food bank, and that that may be a protocol faux pas. Maybe some of you can help in this matter. I've a dim recollection that MPs are not permitted to take part in public affairs in any constituency other than their own, unless invited to do so by the member for that constituency. In the case of ministers (which by default, if not merit, Fluffy is), whose jobs clearly involve national or pan national responsibility, whilst they can appear officially in any constituency, it is considered good manners to get permission from the serving MP and to invite him or her to join them at the event.
It would be interesting to know if that's true or it I dreamed it. And of course, if the MP was invited to come along...
Oh, and it's worth noting that in Mark's story he points out that there was a spread laid on for the people at the launch. How ironic is that? Can't help feeling that a food bank should have been saving every bit of it food for people who needed it, not for overpaid MPs and thier retinues, with ministerial salaries and expenses to keep them in ice cream.
Incidentally, for those of you who didn't read the whole of Mark Frankland's article, he goes on to talk about the perilous financial state of First Base. In order to survive it needs another £15,000 before January, and it has no obvious way of raising that money. So Mark, who is, as well as being a food bank manager, an author, has written a novel "The Great Food Bank Siege" which will be published on Amazon Kindle in a few weeks time at the price of £2,99 to raise some money. Munguin will be buying a copy! ++++++++++++++++++ Terrifying mob of middle aged people shouting "shame on you", and plenty of police to keep them away from the sainted viceroy.
Didn't Miliband's office deny any part in creating the Vow, saying it was something the Record mocked up?
But there was some good news for the SNP:
SNP Members in England now
Oh dear, Conservatives... and look at Labour.
Labour still don't know their butts from their elbows:
Soooo... if it won't affect Scotland, why did you inflict your vote on the bill? And if it will affect Scotland, and you had a reason to vote on it, why did you lie through your teeth about it before the referendum?
He's the kind of fellow that, if he was on your side, you'd hope he got locked in a cellar somewhere to stop him opening his big fat stupid tactless mouth.
They are simply never going to live that ad down. Must be why they want a man in charge of Labour in Scotland. Won't spend all his time worrying about cereals. He'll be too busy filling in his expenses.
He puts me in mind of that revolting little man Daniels. Wasn't he some time of hypnotist or magician or something odd?
The Tories don't seem to have good days any more:
What was Gideon on at lunch...electric soup, or just some more of that nice nose candy stuff? Anyway, what ever it was, can I have some. Groovy man!
Jeeeez... you can't do that. How are people going to make enough to donate to the Tories if they have to pay the minimum wage?
I mean what can you say, really, honestly... ...except Dick Head?
*&%^**$%£(%%^&% Don't ask. It's very very rude.
Well, you have, Dave. Just think of all the payback. One day you'll be as rich and as hated as the Blair creature.
In the meantime...
This, as opposed to the Big Society, is your legacy, you git.
MMMMMMM... directorships, donations. It's just win win for the Tories.
What a total prat you look...
...now, just as then when you had more hair and weren't so fat. I see Gideon always had that spaced out look, though. Easy to get at Oxford, was it?
