Danny (Munguin's Man in America) sent me this poem and the history below.
Now to understand it fully you have to know that the symbol for the GOP or Republicans is an elephant.
And a sort of unofficial representation for the Democrats has been a donkey. For explanations of these symbols, see below.
So with that knowledge to hand here is the poem. (Don't worry: Milton it isn't and it's very short.)
The talking is done.
Your party lost,
My party won.
So let us be friends,
Let arguments pass.
I'll hug your elephant,
If you kiss my ass.
Explanation time!
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern
civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of
humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1 . Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what
is known as the Conservative movement...
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and
doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the
beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became
known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include
the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group
hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide
the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but
like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of
their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most
social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in
Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher
also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat
red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big
game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers,
firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate
executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and
generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why
most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and
created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history:
