Fotos on Friday

We know he doesn't have much to choose from, and he had to
 go to the Lords, but recently rejected MPs?

How surprising!

I didn't vote for the banks. Why do they govern?

At last we found a use for him.

Don't hold your breath!

We told you so.

Good old Labour Party. Democracy for all.

At least in Italy they think we won.

10 years ago they murdered Jean Charles de Menezes.
Dick was in charge. She was promoted.
Dick by name...

No idea what he expected. He seems terminally dim to me.

Every town should have one, eh Iain?

Seems that there is only one choice here.

Evil witch. By keeping quiet about your weirdo ministers and officials you were responsible for the most inhumane suffering, and probably deaths of countless children. How could you? You were a mother yourself.
What if it had been Mark or Carole?

A prediction from McT is always a breath of fresh air...
I suspect it was he who suggested warning of attacks
 from outer space, although that was maybe a bit on the sane
side for him.

Why not?
He couldn't be much more of a comic figure than he already is.
The man whose lordly assistant  earns more than he does...

Well, you said it Gid.

You really are going to have to learn that we are getting sick of you people doing this. Now, stop it you ghastly little man.

And the Queen told is that in everything she does she is guided
by the word of Christ, who clearly would have preferred
decorating his house to feeding the poor. 

So I don't see any likelihood of rent controls in the near future.

Anyone know why we have to pay VAT when England, Wales and NI don't?
Thanks a million Labour.

No, you are right. You couldn't write a script with this in it.
They would turn it down as too fantastical
Go back and inject some reality...

The good old Daily Mail commentators.
Well known for their love of Scotland and keen intellect.

PAY UP TO PLAY THE GAME

You may remember that a lad was walking home from his girlfriend's house on one hot night of the London riots in August. He was thirsty and helped himself to two bottles of water from a shop that had been looted and was sitting open. Total value of his theft, around £2.80. He was sent to prison for 6 months. 


With the agreement of the government courts were encouraged to hand down severe sentences to anyone who had been even remotely involved. For example, two lads who posted invitations to the riots on the Facebook pages were sentenced to 4 years in prison.


When cases went to the English Appeal Court they were upheld.


Baron Haddingfield, a man in a position where no one would question his integrity because of his station, a man who was bowed and scraped to, who was entitled to a chauffeur driven car, and who was called a Noble Lord, in fact a man people might have been expected to look up to stole, not 2 bottles of water worth £2.80, but £28,000. He was sentenced to 9 months imprisonment but actually only served 9 weeks because he was feeling poorly.


Baroness Uddin stole £125,000 from us by pretending that she lived at the seaside and was obliged to purchase another house in London because she had to attend the House of Lords. In fact she had had the house in London for many years. Her kids had been brought up there. The seaside flat was unfurnished and she never went there. It was all a great big scam to make her some money. And she went further. She would walk into the Lords, sign in, and walk out another door, spending less than 5 minutes in the building. For that she claimed her daily allowance of £300. 


She hasn't been sent to prison at all, although the police are said to be looking into her case a couple of years on.


But now the House of Lords has decided to punish them and all their grubby little mates most severely. Yes, draconian measures are to be taken.


From now on they won't be allowed to return to the House of Privilege until the money has been repaid, or until the next UK General Election, whichever comes first. They will, of course retain their titles and styles.


Nooooooooooo, I hear you cry in unison, at the severity of the punishment. Take it to the European Court of Lordly Rights.

The Lords' authorities have decided against trying to pursue noble members through the courts as they think that judges would not be prepared to hear cases involving the rights of the house.


Dear dear, and I thought London had police! Where's Cressida Dick when you erm need her?

AND THAT WILL BRING US BACK TO "DOH"

Perhaps the most bizarre of all the stories in today’s news is that the Metropolitan Police in London are investigating whether an officer, giving evidence at the inquest into the death of London Solicitor Mark Saunders spoke his way through a list of songs.

When I heard it this morning, I rubbed my eyes and wondered if it was April 1. The officer known only as AZ8, has been suspended from firearms duties.

It seems that someone listening to the evidence, and a bit of a musician with pretty eclectic tastes, worked out that in his hour of evidence AZ8 had used eight song titles. This was reported to the officer’s management and the man was given a reprimand.

However, somehow it got to the attention of senior officers who decided that a reprimand was not enough. So they decided to refer the matter to the Independent Police Complaints Commission.

Now I don’t know about you, but I’m looking at this list of song titles, and I’m thinking that many of them...actually all of them, would have been perfectly appropriate phrases to use in the situation that the officer found himself in. I mean, he wasn’t saying things like “A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine go Down”, or “I Don't Know How to Love Him" or “Well Here it is Merry Christmas”.

See what you think of the phrases/titles used... 'Point Of No Return'; 'Enough's Enough'; 'Self Preservation'; 'Blinding Light'; 'Quiet Moments'; 'I'm Kicking Myself'; 'Any Other Way'. All of them could quite innocently have been said in an hour long testimony.

I’m a bit dubious about how he managed to get this one in though: 'F*** My Old Boots' (I wonder what that could be about actually.)

I’m just wondering, given the lamentable quality of management at the Met (remember Cressida Dick?) if this isn’t a huge mistake.

Don’t get me wrong, to poke fun at an inquest is an horrific thing to do if it is done by a member of the public. If it is done by a member of the firearms squad that shot the man, it is bad beyond belief and the guy should be sacked.

But it would be incredibly difficult to get eight song titles into evidence unless you had rehearsed it carefully, and I think it’s possible that it’s coincidence and some sad sack is making trouble.

As an afterthought I hope that the Met don’t employ people to go to inquests to check up on things like this....

Prizes for anyone who can give the artistes (or the show/film from which the pieces were taken). And remember prizes mean points!

OK IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY, BUT IT WAS A JOKE

The “plot” against the life of the Pope turned out to be a bit of a damp squib... The men who were arrested and kept in prison over the weekend were allowed to go free Sunday morning as not a shred of evidence could be found against them.

No weapons were found in their homes; no explosive materials, no plans or recipes for bombs. Nothing.

It appears that they were working men having a joke in the canteen about the Pope and his expensive visit to the UK and someone suggested something that went a bit too far and everyone laughed. You know how it gets in the canteen...

Frankly given the record of the Church on the child abuse scandal and the fact that the Pope was the guy in charge of priests' discipline for years when it was happening, and that he allowed people to get away with it, I’m surprised that the visit went as well as it did.

Normally the one thing guaranteed to get people REALLY angry is child abuse. It can even get the normally apathetic to stir their stumps and take action. But apart from a few muted protests, nothing much was said about it. The Pope said he was sorry and it seems that that is enough for people. It wouldn’t be for me, but there you go.

So anyway, the plot was a joke in bad taste that got 6 blokes a weekend at Her Majesty's pleasure for nothing much more than I've heard around Dundee over the last few weeks. You’d have thought that London’s finest would have been able to distinguish between a joke in the canteen and a serious terrorist threat. Tessie May really should be looking at how effective these people are.

Mrs Cressida Dick wasn't in charge of the operation was she?

Pictures: The Home Secretary dressed for the office... surely not? Cressida the incompetent moron that organised or rather didn't organise the operation that led to the death of an innocent man because she couldn't find the room she was supposed to be in (and who was promoted as a result of it) Dick. And a small instruction manual which you may find useful if you travel to the English capital and are likely to come into contact with plod.

Don't you just wonder what planet some of these people live on?