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Monday, 13 June 2016
HOW I WISH THIS TORY REFERENDUM WERE OVER... IN THE MEANTIME:-
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for
his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and
Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little
better he prevailed.
He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.
On the 2nd day she had movers come and collect her
On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished she went into each and every
room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of
all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all
was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried
everything: cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for
dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Note: Not the house in question!!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters
during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even
replaced the expensive wool carpeting.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused
to work in the house.
The Maid quit.
Finally they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later even through they had cut their price in
half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors
refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.
Note: Not the smart wife.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were
going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and
said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was
he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the
hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling
as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.