Monday 11 May 2015

...AND THEN THERE WAS THIS...

I wonder who pays for the flower arrangements

Congratulations David Mundell on your elevation to the Cabinet, the competition having been removed to the opposition back benches.

It won't be an easy job.  You don't even have a legitimate Minister of State. Presumably something will have to be dragged in from the Old Toffs' Farm and Retirement Home, and we all know that most of them are usually asleep or dead or some mixture of the aforesaid.

Then of course, your old boss will almost certainly have to ask you probing questions as the Liberal Democrat spokesman on Scotland...again their being a very limited pool of talent to chose from. I trust that you were nice to him when you were on the same side and didn't treat him as one of those awful Liberal fellows that one had to put up with.

Fortunately for you, your opposite number, the shadow Secretary of State for Scotland, whose name defeats me, but you'll recognise him by his sartorial elegance, is unlikely to launch anything hugely intellectually challenging at you, and the 56 SNP members will probably be called rarely. However, watch when they are. Some of them are sharp as tacks.

So maybe you'll manage along nicely. 

When you are obliged to go to Edinburgh though, you may find it a very different kettle of fish. 

Good luck.

40 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I think this is what can described as the aftermath of the "Shock and Awe" campaign that shook Westminster to it's core.

      Never forget that on the night of the results the BBC also came out with "Pailsey and Renfreshite." LOL

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    2. Probably sums up what they think about people not voting for their lovely lovely Labour Party.

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  2. Oh dear. The BBC isn't really up to scratch with Scots politicians. "They all look the same to me", said the producer.

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  3. I can't wait for the first Scottish Questions. In the last parliament Fluffy, then just a lowly Minister used to share answering the questions with someone called Alistair Carmichael. Now that Fluffy is Secretary of State for Scotland and he has NO Minister's from a Scottish constituency then he will be in a corner having to answer ALL the questions himself.

    How long before his hair, what's left, does a Murphy and turns GREY!

    Come on S.N.P. make Fluffy's job pure HELL! LOL

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    1. I'm hearing on twitter that Ian Murray, Labour will get 6 questions at Scottish questions and the SNP will get 1 between 56 of them!! I'm sure in the great tradition of SLAB all six will be variations on SNP bad.

      Am I right in thinking you are in Fluffy's constituency? My commiserations. Even I've got an SNP MP and no Jim Murphy anymore.

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    2. Why has he got an empty bookcase in front of his fireplace?

      Yes, What's his name will have to try to think of 6 variation on "Does the Rt Hon Minister agree with me that the SNP are horrid?"

      So, also, Labour will have to drag in some English Labour people, just like the Tories do, to populate Scottish Questions. Heaven knows what the Liberals will do.

      They have no choice really. If there are just the three of them, with no one else sitting on the government side except Muddle, it will look awful. If they populate the government benches with English and Welsh Tories, and the opposition benches with English and Welsh Liblabs, it will look awful.

      So a bit like their situation, it's going to look awful.

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    3. Stuart has it nailed.

      http://wingsoverscotland.com/the-lockout/

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    4. Yes you are right Panda I do, for all of my sins, have the (dis)honour of having Fluffy as *ahem* my M.P.

      Everyone down here is pretty p****d off about the fact he survived. However that said we are pretty buoyed up by the fact that Emma managed to move the S.N.P. from fourth (2010 result) to second place. Not only that but we managed to slash his majority right down from over 4,000 to under 800.

      Yes we're all miffed but at the same time we are exremely proud of what we all managed to achieve. He was given one hell of a bloody nose!

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    5. I feel a bit sorry for the candidates and teams who fought good fights, reduced majorities, and yet didn't quite make it.

      I think we should remember that in Edinburgh South, Dumfries and Galloway and the Northern Isles we had really hard working people who made a difference.

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  4. Don't you think fluffy looks small sitting behind that big desk?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I do. He'll never reach right the way across it. He should really have his deputy share it... Oh wait, he doesn't have a deputy.

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  5. http://www.theguardian.com/politics/video/2015/may/11/snp-mps-photocall-outside-parliament-video

    It's precisely 45 seconds...

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  6. Nice one Conan.

    And they were worried when we had 11 people there!!!

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  7. Sir Humphry standing and talking to a real life Bernard in the chair. There must be some suitable quote Yes Minister.

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    1. LOL yes, I wish I could remember some of the brilliant Humphrey lines.

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    2. Maybe "THe Thick of it" would be more appropriate, if less child friendly.

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    3. But minister, the title is purely honarary, the duties merely ceremonial, and the responsibilities are there to be enjoyed, not exercised

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    4. LOL Brilliant. Someone has a box set somewhere methinks!!!!

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  8. Aye nae books to while away the hours and obviously nae coal allowance to keep him toasty.

    Also they've taken the china away as well if the wee plastic cup on that big empty desk is anything to go by.

    It looks like an under-dressed stage set, which is appropriate because there'll be nothing more than play-acting going on in that room.

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    1. Ha ha ha ha ha...

      Maybe they will give him a small paraffin stove to warm his hands on.

      Well put Kyle!

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  9. Tris

    Mundell will do exactly as expected, nothing. The SNP will be marginalised as much as possible with the help of the Speaker, I suspect there will be more Conservatives at Scottish Questions, with their red Labour Pals, from English Constituencies (that is where they all come from lol) to shout down the SNP at every turn. This is going to be a really interesting time and one that could backfire big time on the Tories. The question will be wether they actually care or not, I suspect they don't.

    Thanks

    Bruce

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    1. I agree too Bruce.

      There are lots of ways to play it, and I bet that Cameron chooses the wrong way.

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  10. Bruce this will certainly be what they intend but how this will play back in Scotland, we have some of the most politically aware people in Scotland now, they will not be happy and I have to say that they have elderly relatives who they will inform. I suspect that among the bills will be one to reduce the retirement (state) pension, of at least will reduce the chance of paying according to the cost of living rise as now. We live in interesting times. Ian Murray may have got in but his behaviour will be scrutinised and he may do more damage than good.

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    1. Let's be honest. The three "others" are going to ahve a hard time if they are up agaisnt only Scottish MPs.

      On the other hand, they will hand us huge propaganda victories if they have to populate the Commons and the Scottish grand Committee, and the Scottish Select Affairs Committee with non Scots, which they will.

      Wha's gonnae replace Bayonet Davidson?

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  11. Who-ever paid for the flowers got gypped. That arrangement is pretty diabolical.

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    1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha... Can't even get that right!!!

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  12. Is that his short stay suit case?

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    1. Just a few spare pairs of undergarments!

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  13. Is that picture a scan of his brain or just an artists impression?

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    1. I thought it was a fish he caught... t h i s BIG!

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  14. The post of Scottish Secretary is redundant, and always has been since devolution. What I think it should be replaced with is a junior ministerial role which acts as a liaison between the two Governments. High level stuff is done at FM / PM level of course.

    Even non-SNP voters and union supporters should find this more practical.

    At least give the man credit. His constituency area at least shows up on a map of Scotland, unlike Labour's.

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    1. Agreed.

      I was quite in favour of there being a minister for all the Celtic Countries, but in reality no SoS or Minister has ever been 'Scotland's man in the cabinet', but the 'Cabinet's man in Scotland'.

      All I've heard from Mundell suggests he's not listening to Scotland, but his London Tory masters.

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  15. Third paragraph. Please edit and correct. It's not 'their being...', it's 'there being...'
    It always makes people look like dicks when they can't tell the difference between there, their, and they're.

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    1. Almost as bad as those who spell "Independence" as "Independance".

      Or "definitely" as "definately"

      Time for some medication......
      Tsk tsk, 3/10 see me......

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    2. In what Anon... I can't see what you are referring to...

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    3. Ha ha... or "that to which you refer" :)

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  16. It is revealing that the last Scots Labour MP in existence is the union-flag wrapped representative for Morningside & Pentlands...

    I'll say no more.

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    1. I've always thought, given some of Morningside's residents, that they should really have a Tory MP. I suspect that once upon a time before mrs Thatcher, they did.

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