Friday, 7 February 2014


So today the posh Eton Tory makes a speech about Scotland, from the comfort of London. Plus ca change.

According to the TimesReuters and the BBC he will be—

*    Talking about how British we all felt during the Olympics adn Jubilee. (You might have felt that Dave; I can honestly say I never heard anything, not once, from ordinary members of the public about it.  True, some Ukokers talked about togetherness and the Jubilee, possibly forgetting, possibly ignorant of the fact, that Liz is Queen of Scots as well as of Australia and New Zealand, not just the Queen of England, but ordinary people were actually moved a bit by any of it.)

*    Talking about how his grandfather once lived for a while outside Aberdeen, so that makes him nearly Scottish...almost, sort of.  I once lived just outside Grenoble. It didn't make me French.

*    Talking about how his father in law owns a shooting estate in Scotland where he, Dave, comes to indulge himself in aristocratic blood sports! Well, of course we are well impressed with that. That's what we expect of our betters.

*    Talking about how Britain has influence in the EU... (Hmmmm....What was it Francois Hollande said to you the other day, Dave, when you wanted the EU run your way? “Aller! Faire chier”, wasn't it? You do know that that doesn't mean “Fair! Cheers!”, Dave, don't you?)

*   Talking about how important Britain is in the UN, Nato, G Whiz 8, etc. (Did you check with one of President Obama's entourage that it was OK to say that Dave?)

But Cameron is, even according to the BBC, rattled by the improved polling for the Yes Campaign. He is worried that whilst No is coming across as utterly negative, the Yes side's imagine is positive and inspirational. 

They are all clearly concerned that Alistair Darling has none of the talents necessary to make the UK sound exciting, or Scotland's future in it one to which people could aspire. 

And it's true, whatever you think of Alistair and his talents, he is hardly an inspirational figure. He is a poor speaker, is terrible at interviews and all round is a bit of a dry old stick. All you remember from his performances is the number of times he has said "you know" adn how much he hates Gordon Brown.

So perhaps not unsurprisingly Cameron finds it almost impossible to find someone from Westminster with a wide appeal in Scotland.  But when, this morning, the Today programme asked Downing Street for someone to interview about the speech, amazingly they were directed to Tessa Jowell!!

Tess is a Labour backbench MP who appears to have got herself knighted for being the opposition spokesman on the Olympics, and who justified her involvement by explaining that, although she was from the opposition and a Londoner, she had lived (just like Dave's grandfather) near Aberdeen so that meant she could speak for the government.

It seems remarkable that the Conservative government in coalition with Liberals had no one else they could put forward. As it turned out they would have been as well putting the useless Fluffy Muddle or Teddy Carbuncle up for interview because, oh dear, what a lamentable performance. But I suppose from their point of view it was advantageous that it was a Labour politician who sounded stupid, and not one of theirs.
Downing Street appears to think that Tessa
has appeal in Scotland
If she said ‘the spirit of Britishness’ once, she said it 10 times in the utterly unconvincing short interview. Even the BBC man Justin Webb seemed somewhat underwhelmed by her performance (especially when she meant to say that it was for ‘Scottish’ people to decide, but actually said ‘British' people!).

But even when they are love bombing us, they can't help but come back to what REALLY matters to them: Britain’s Greatness in the world; its influence and its clout.
Dear old Doris, what was it you said
about a pound spent in Croydon? Oh yes!
In typical Tory fashion they seem to think that this fabled global importance is of primary concern to the equally fabled “hard working family" that they talk of, (who is to be found up and down the country), which is, in reality, struggling to pay the electricity bill, gas bill, afford a new school blazer, buy food, get new tyres for the car, and pay off Christmas. Even pensioners who remember a time when Britannia did rule the waves, would, I suspect, prefer to have a little less influence in the world and a little more heat in their living rooms.

In any case, there are 62 million Brits; when we go they'll lose 5 million. Why would that make a difference? According to English we are a load of subsidy junkies, with our free education, free medicine, free care for the elderly and endless claims on social security all paid for with their hard earned English taxes. They'd surely be rich without us? 

Unless, of course, they've been fibbing and they reckon that they would lose influence in the world because they would have no where safe to park their WMDs; and, worse still,  no income from our oil, whisky, industry, tourism, water, etc, etc.

We do wonder though (for a matter which is only for Scots to decide) why is Dave doing the “phone a friend” thing? If it’s not for English or Welsh (or Russians) to interfere; why all this telephonic interference? (It couldn't be that Dave has just got himself shares in Vodafone?) I feel I should now warn my English mates that if anyone phone's me and begs me to stay for the good of Britain, I will tell them to, erm, go away, and they may not hear from me for a while.
Well, maybe not for everyone...
If the prime minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland wants to convince Scots to vote to remain a part of his incredibly important and influential but utterly broke country, why doesn't he come to Scotland and explain face to face what wondrous benefits, apart from "clout" will accrue to us from this union? He must have something to offer rather than cuts, more cuts and yet more cuts and then permanent austerity. 

Why doesn't he come and debate with the elected leader of our government.  
Because he's scared stiff Nicola or Alex would roast him,
or because he's far too important to debate with a mere first minister
 who didn't go to public school
OK, Scots by and large don't like Cameron (I'm not sure the English do), but let’s be honest, if he wants to be the Prime Minister of Scotland, he really can't do it from the safety of his bunker in London or from behind a gold lectern in front of a golden throne in the Guildhall. 

He really has to have the bottle to show up here and debate with the First Minister of Scotland in the country he wants to keep in his empire.


  1. Man you really have to admire the bravery shown by David Cameron this morning by making his way, no wait that's wrong, fighting his way all the way across London to Stratford in East London. Why exactly did Cameron put himself in the front line of such danger you might ask. Well , apparently he wants everyone in England, Wales and N.I. to "phone a friend" and beg on bended knee for them to vote NO in September. What bravery from the man, I fully expect to hear he has been awarded the V.C. any day day now for his actions today.

    I'm currently watching a re-run of yesterday's Scotland debate in Westminster and what a load of tosh they are saying. Talk about about a bunch of fearties begging and grovelling to the Scots to stay in the U.K. is the understatement of the century! Needless to say their 'respect' for Scotland only lasts so long as THEY speak, as soon as anyone from the S.N.P. stands to speak the noise becomes unbearable, totally disrespectful not only to the person speaking but by extension to the people of Scotland!

    Working from the comments of Cameron and Jowell I can only assume that as I've spent time in Hong Kong and London then I am part Scots, part Chinese and part Londoner!

    I saw a picture the other night taken during the last American Presidential elections. You may remember it Tris, it was of Clint Eastwood standing on stage having a 'discussion' with an empty chair. This got me thinking. In a couple of weeks both the Scottish government and Westminster government will be in Aberdeenshire, apparently around 10 miles apart. This would be, as Alex Salmond suggested yesterday, the ideal opportunity for a live TV debate. Apparently STV have a studio free that day. If however, as is Cameron's style, he runs away, then maybe the dabate should styill go ahead with Alex Salmond and an empty chair for Cameron!

    Just a wee side note Tris,I'm currently looking forward to attending tonight, hopefully, an independence debate in Eskdalemuir with Joan MacAlpine and Scotland's 'National Treasure', none other than the man himself, the one, the only David Mundell!

  2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ...

    Good post Arbroath.

    All good points. I thin Eck should have the debate. If Cameron wants to make any point he could always get Tessa to phone them in for him.

    I'd love to get a report on Fluffy Muddle v Joan Mc.

    If Muddle is one of our treasures though, I'm beginning to wish that living ion Grenoble HAD made me French!

    1. Hopefully my memory will last long enough to get a few points down for you Tris. LOL

      To be honest I'm still having a wee problem trying to figure out what I'd want to ask him so many options. LOL

      If I do get the chance though I might just suggest to him that he have a word in the ear of the BIG feartie about just how much assistance he continues to be to the YES campaign. Perhaps he really should insist that Cameron visits Scotland as often as possible, we just love him so much up here.

      I'd also suggest that Cameron takes up the offer to debate with Alex Salmond. I'm sure all of our fellow Scots would quite happily sheath our Claymores and lay down our Targes for the big event. This is how much respect we all have for the leader of one of the world's greatest *cough* economies! LOL

  3. David Cameron said in his speech:

    “I have an old copy of Our Island Story, my favourite book as a child and I want to give it to my 3 children, and I want to be able to teach my youngest when she’s old enough to understand, that she is part of this great, world-beating story.”

    The full title of his childhood book:

    Our Island Story: A Child’s History of England is a book by Henrietta Elizabeth Marshall, first published in 1905 in London by T. C. & E. C. Jack.

    1. Interesting. Surely it was just a simple slip of the tongue on Cameron's part that he missed off the last part of the book's title. He wouldn't have missed off the last part deliberately, would he? LOL

    2. Is he worried that England will ceace to exist if Scotland goes independant?

      Wow. Talk about "subsidy junkies".

      And in other news, a lot of English comments on the BBC report on Cameron's speech are urging Scotland to move the border further south. A few even suggested the M25 for the new border!

    3. You couldn't make that kind of incompetence up.

      Did no one say to him ... people might know that book...?

      I can understand; I've lived in England. I know that people, there, and abroad, not unreasonably see England and Britain as being interchangeable. (We did it with the Soviet Union and Russia: People would say I'm off to Russia, when they were actually going to Latvia or Moldova).

      So when he was put on the spot in China after they had insulted him, I wasn't TOO bothered that he came out with some poetry that ended up "This scepter'd isle; this England".

      But this was a prepared speech, presumably read through by a few people to ensure it didn't have any glaring errors.

      Anyway, kids don't want to read that kind of crap now. And given that the silly woman thinks that England is an island, thank goodness she wasn't writing a geography book.

      Give them Harry Potter to read and if they want history they will get a more accurate version online.


    5. That's brilliant Illy.

      Have you read Derek Bateman's alternative speech? Brilliant.

  4. The war is being won on the ground and online where the truth is spread far and wide.

    How many people in Lanark will of heard what their Labour MP thinks of them.

    MrJim Hood (Lanark and Hamilton East) (Lab)

    “Even if the SNP was right and there was a grand, great thing at the end of the rainbow for the SNP and its debate for independence, I would still be against it.

    If the Scottish people are going to be better off economically and so on, I would still be against breaking away from the Union.“

  5. Sorry I'm O/T here Tris but just in case you haven't been watching the opening ceremony at Sochi, Jamaica is back in the Winter Olympics.

    GO Bobsleigh! :-)

    GO Jamaica! LOL

  6. Tris

    I just don't care what the posh boy has to say, from London, if there was no oil,gas and whiskey they would not give a shit would they. Saying that I actually joined a union today, a trade union. There is a battle coming soon between the poorest and the state. The Scottish government will not be exempt from, I see decisions getting made everyday in the public sector across the whole of Scotland and the UK and we need to all get ready. Things are going to get worse in the next round of cuts, Cameron can spout all he wants. This is about money and who holds the power, we have given up too much and I just cant see people getting pushed further and we are all going to have to stand up, this is sadly maybe about class.


  7. I once spent three weeks in Jakarta, the last three days of them in jail for an alleged previous anti-government report and am now banned from entering again but now that Dave has made me part Indonesian I will try again.

    Mundell v MacAlpine would signify the end of Better together - not with a bang but a simper. Actually I quite like Mundell, I'm sure his heart is in the right place.

  8. If Johann can have a bunker then why not 'Call me Dave'?

    He's fast becoming a bigger encumbrance to the 'No' campaign than Darling.

    Keep them coming Dave and wasn't Salmond very bullish in his BBC/Channel 4 interviews ....almost 'buccaneering' in his performance.

    The English must be envious that wee have Alex and they have Dave.