At this time of the year it is customary for Munguin to give some consideration to those less fortunate than himself.
This year he has been touched by the plight of Her Royal Highness, Princess Michael of Kent (although he thinks Michael is a ridiculous name for a woman).
Now it has come to his attention that Her Majesty the Queen has been obliged to take steps to protect her limited comestibles from thieving policemen who appear to wander around her houses stealing any food that isn't nailed down. (Mind you, I'd be inclined to check Mrs Parker Bowles pockets when she's leaving. I never liked the look of that woman.)
I dunno, first they fit up that nice polite little man Andy Mitchell, everyone's mate, and try to make him out as a foul mouthed snobby prat, and now they are stealing from poor old defenceless pensioners in their own homes.
Whatever they are up to, we all know you can't win with the polis, particularly that London lot who lie in unison at the drop of a hat, so Munguin has decided to dedicate this year's Christmas appeal to the benefit of underfed, cold, miserable old Queens everywhere.
After all you must have some nuts or crisps that you don't want, or maybe some Bombay Mix that someone bought as a gift for you because it was going half price (still fresh) at Morrison's. Party leftovers from office or home are welcome.
Send them to Munguin at Munguin Towers and, after he has checked them for flavour, nutritional and satisfaction values, he will send what is left of them to Her Majesty, so that this Christmas the poor old dear won't have to go around marking the levels on her snacks crystalware.
And if anyone has any spare tickets (not tourist class)for a decent airline to Biarritz, Munguin would be happy to take Princess Michael with him on his annual winter break... so cough up.